Intended:
Warm Milk. My mom used to microwave some for my brother and I thinking it would put us to sleep? To this day I have not forgiven her.
Unintended:
Two ‘winners’ here…
I was working at Frankie G’s in St. Louis, Missouri as a dish washer. After hours the cooks bet me $40 that I wouldn’t eat a ‘sidecup’ full of grill scrapings and the stuff that accumulates under the burners. I pocketed the cash just as quickly as I ran to the bathroom to hurl up the crunchy/carbon mix.
In '08 I was deployed to Al Udied AB in Qatar. We were preparing one of our P-19’s for servicing. A leak had developed which required the removal of the foam tank to reach so our task was to empty it. Long story short I got covered in the viscous liquid mid sentence. It was the old foam to… the kind we’re told is made from dead animals and smells so bad we believe it. As I understand it the Air Force stopped buying the stuff but waste-not, want-not. I’m 100% sure that if I had swallowed any I would have gotten a free ride to the clinic… threw up so much I became dehydrated (Not saying too much in 124 degree heat).
When I was training as a pantry cook, my friend/trainer told me if I can’t tell the difference between parsley and cilantro, I should eat a sprig of cilantro, that way I won’t forget. I ate it, and I haven’t forgiven him since.
If you ejaculated first and then peed, why did you still have an erection?
Did the pee go straight up and come down, or were you looking downwards?
If #4 is “downwards,” did it ever occur to you that you should point that thing away from your face when you are either masturbating or peeing? I figured this out before trying either one.
There are a lot of supposed foods I absolutely loathe (as you’d expect from a 29-year-old who still won’t eat vegetables), but only one thing actually made me vomit when I tried it.
Brace yourselves.
Think happy thoughts.
Ok, here goes:
And please note it’s served with syrup and bacon, which is just a crime against tastebuds everywhere.
Most “traditional foods” I’m pretty sure are just scams to see what the tourists will swallow (such as smalahove - anything including eyes, brains, and/or testicles, really) but these lumps of mushy evil are actually eaten by normal humans - including my family. Then again, they’ve grown up eating lutefisk and have probably lost all fear of nasty foods.
Horrible! Tastes like turpentine…and leaves an oiley, gross taste in your mouth.
Greek food is great! Why do they have to ruin this wonderful food with that horrible wine?
Not fond of kimchi (which I’m glad to hear other people don’t like). Also: bad sour cream. I LOVE sour cream and had some mixed with refried beans at a Mexican restaurant…took a huge bite and barely managed to swallow it.
Someone else’s puke. When I was a really young kid, I was strapped in the front seat with a classmate who started coughing…I turned toward him to see what was up and he puked all over me, including in my mouth.
My cat agrees! He was once prescribed Flagyl in addition to antibiotics. He swallowed the antibiotic just fine, but the Flagyl had him foaming at the mouth. He ran away from me for days, all, “How COULD you?!”
I’m finding this thread kind of funny, as many of the things listed are some of my favorite foods, including kimchi, lychees, and umeboshi. I was even inspired by the OP to make rice balls with umeboshi yesterday! My contributions are:
Intentional: Scandinavian salt licorice. An exchange student acquaintance of mine brought this stuff over from Sweden. It tasted like a burnt rubber tire that had been driving on a salty road. And I like black licorice! A close second is starfruit juice. Tasted like a smelly foot in a leather shoe.
Unintentional: Nothing compared to some of the stories here, but I once poured milk from the work fridge into my coffee while chatting with a co-worker. Distracted, I drank the coffee without really looking at it. And promptly ran to spit out the nasty curdled chunks of sour milk and coffee into the sink.
This reminds me of a similar concoction that my dad used to eat…Milk Toast. Think toast swimming in a sea of warm milk and melted butter with a little salt and pepper to taste. Ewwwwwwwww.
You have no obligation to forgive someone for suggesting you taste what I fondly call “soapweed”.
I was masturbating while really needing to go, and upon the first climaxing squirt my urethra delivered a load of piss (and probably some semen) onto my mouth facing downward and slightly open, unintentionally. After the instant shock of piss in my mouth I yanked the penis away from my face and ejaculated normally (Worst Orgasm Ever).
At age 17, my erection angle was such (shaft tightly against stomach) that pointing Willy away from my face would’ve been very painful. As to the looking down, I had no idea I would cum with such a force that I’d end up with anything on my face. I’ve since learned better.
ETA: so, Superhal, you learned penis handling safety before ever peeing?
Neither can I and there are many things mentioned in this thread that are among my favourites, like kimchee, surströmming, haggis, oyster, mussels, retsina, vodka spiced with wormwood (bäsk in Swedish) and whathaveyou.
I have had my share, too, of cigarette-laced beer, but it just tasted bad, nothing to barf for.
Been there, done that too when I was a kid. No urine involved though, just semen. My mouth was closed but I tasted a little bit that was on my lips before wiping the rest away. I don’t really remember the taste anymore though. I don’t think I liked it.
Intended to be eaten (maybe): Colyte. Hands down, no equal. And I had to drink a gallon of it. I had to drink it 8 oz at a time, and every time I swigged it, I had dry heaves.
Unintentional: my own semen. My girlfriend had finished me off orally shortly before, and not thinking, I gave her a deep French kiss…she’d swallowed all of it, but there was still some, er, aftertaste. On a positive note, me kissing her after she finished me turned her on in a HUGE way, so it was kinda worth it.
