I thought the OP just made that part up on the fly so her explanation to the parents would sound better.
Good story. A little on the extreme side, but good.
The lesson for the kids is that they will be spanked (or hosed down) when they misbehave. That a stranger had to teach them this instead of their sperm-donor/incubator guardians is a different story.
If this wasn’t a wake-up call for the non-parents in question then nothing is. The op did them a service by pointing out the obvious.
It says the op can spot monkey-stupid when it presents itself.
I do have sympathy for the OP and recognized the classic stages that such incidents usually progress through:
- Overlooking the behavior in hopes that the offenders will settle down or go away
- Administering stern reproving glances that are ignored.
- Steaming in silence until a blow-up point is reached, and
- Saying something to the clueless parents which will either be ignored or provoke a nasty confrontation.*
None of the above are conducive to a nice, relaxing meal out.
Tossing water on the obnoxious little turd was a nice touch, if a bit over the top. I would have enjoyed seeing it.
One possible solution to the invisible don’t-give-a-damn manager would be to stand up and make an announcement to the adjoining tables, to the effect that since your meal was ruined you’d be seeking a refund and suggesting anyone else who felt that way do the same. That, plus an appropriate complaint to higher management/ownership might be an effective counter to the philosophy that “we don’t want to offend families, no matter how sociopathic they are”.
Inane as her responses were, they’re actually better than I expected. I was prepared to hear about how loud unruly children are considered a blessing in Africa, it takes a village to raise a child and that it’s a Western affectation to expect a table to oneself in relative peace when eating out. 
*You never know how a word to the parents will be taken or how it could backfire. Not long after Mrs. J. and I moved to our present community, we got in the habit of eating Sunday breakfast at a local outlet of a coffeehouse chain featuring special coffees and pastry, with soothing classical music on the sound system. One Sunday morning in our section there was Screechina and Hellboy running around and yelling as mom heedlessly dawdled over her breakfast remnants (dad was nowhere in sight). I finally approached her and suggested that she act like a parent and control her children. I was rewarded with a glare, although she did get the brats out of there (and another customer came up and thanked me). It turned out that Mommie was on the medical staff at the hospital I’d started working at and I encountered her in the docs’ lounge. :eek:
I think she eventually forgave me.
That’s not how it went down, and you know it. Trying to maintain some dignity is not being “passive-aggressive.” The family in this anecdote forfeited any expectation of their being treated politely when they let the kid behave rudely. And you know equally well that the OP did not “lie” about why she dumped water on the kid. The kid and his family were unreasonably and unbearably obnoxious. I am not going to microanalyze the OP’s reactions. We can’t all be perfect like you.
I can’t help but wonder what part of NJ you’re from.
Typical guido behavior. JK 
Things were a lot more civil back in the day when restaurants ground their own hamburger. If a kid got out of line, then into the grinder with him. It kept the restaurants quiet, and the hamburgers inexpensive.
I’m wondering if the parents did this deliberately to get a free meal. Their behavior is just over the top.
The kids were already being taught a bad lesson…but let’s not get into that. As far as the OP’s actions, methinks it could be taken as a lesson that “If your behavior bothers people enough, they might react in a way you don’t like, so perhaps you should think about how your actions affect others.”
Magiver, ooh! That crossed my mind too.
Correct. I’m not a mom.
Did the kid spill your coffee onto your newspaper the first time you told this story?
I’m not from NJ. I was living in NJ at the time I signed up, and I work in NJ. My boyfriend lives in NJ, so I post a lot from NJ, but I am a native NYC girl.
Well, I think the decision to throw water on the kid at that point represented a fair measure of restraint. I expect shoving the kid away with two hands would come off worse, as would jabbing him with the butter knife. I don’t know what I would have done in such extremis.
It’s just absurd and pathetic that the situation reached such a point.
Sven, what is it when it rains? Attempted murder?
You really have me, and the situation, all wrong.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard on these boards in a long time. I’m a lot more likely to say something like, “If you don’t control your kids, I will.”
Yes, original post, paragraph 6, line 3.
Maybe you skimmed over this part of the story?
The parents did not invade her booth. The kid did.
As for gently telling them that their kid is causing a scene, that is like telling a streaker that his zipper is open. it is not like they were going to express surprise at this. And she did try.
Would you pour water on an adult who was pissing you off? Why not? One good reason is that they very well could try to create legal consequences. Another is that pouring water on people simply is not a good way to solve disputes. We live in the kind of society where it’s not okay for people to express their anger by lobbing drinks at each other.
Of course, a big reason why you don’t go pour glasses of water on people who bug you is that they may get upset and fight back. I suspect it’s this that was the key factor in your decision. You decided to pour a cup on water on a kid because they were pissing you off, you wanted some sort of revenge, and you knew they had no way to fight back. Then instead of owning up to what you did (“Your kid was crawling all over my booth, so I poured a cup of water on him to try to make him stop”) you gave a bullshit excuse.
Classy.
Anyway, I agree that this probably didn’t even happen, but if it did I just can’t see how pouring a glass of a water on a kid is a victory for the little guy.
I like kids just fine and had no expectations of having a Zen experience in a diner during weekend brunch hours.
A blind and deaf person would have noticed how disruptive these two were, and the only reason I accepted the seating in the first place was because it looked as if they were done eating and getting ready to leave.
Out of curiosity, and I apologize if this was already mentioned and I missed it, but how did the kid react when you doused him?