Hey, if you come to Seattle’s Tuesday night trivia group tonight, you can show us all your penis. I know I’ll be there.
Penis ensued has had me laughing for the better part of the evening…I love it! I doubt you’ve offended anyone 
In case you’ve lost track of the trivia night thread, we’re talking about you over there, Anastasaeon.
Well, hey, at least you got through the thread title without "Is Freud whispering in my rear?"
I burning your penis ensued.
I can see how you might easily make this mistake in simply pronouncing the name, but not in spelling it, since the letters aren’t even similar. I’m assuming you never made this mistake in writing?
I notice that when I type, my fingers sometimes have “memory” and type out words incorrectly. For example, in the previous sentence I typed “worlds” by mistake, instead of “words.” I would never make this same mistake when writing by hand. I do the same thing with their/there, etc.
If this continues to happens to you a lot, and it bothers you, you might consider talking to a neurologist.
Aha!
YOU started it!
I thought I spotted it in the 4000th thread as a typo.
Shame on you.
[pet peeve]That’s not Dr. Spock, that’s Mr. Spock! Dr. Spock is a real person with no connection to Star Trek.[/pet peeve]
Yup, same here. “Beyond” usually becomes either “beyonf” or “beyong” and has to be backspaced over and retyped, also my hands insist that the big holiday in December ends with an N, not an S. 
:smack:
As to the panic=penis thing, you have two words that differ by only two letters, and the differing letters sometimes take on the other’s sounds. So the brain categorizes them as equivalents.
(It just occurred to me that there’s more than one. :smack: I mean the one with the tree and the reindeer. Sorry, folks.)
Oops, yes, just to clarify, that’s a pronunciation mishap, not a spelling one.
Thank you, everyone who responded to this thread. I still might go get checked out, or at least get a new prescription for my ADD, but at least I feel somewhat normal. I just didn’t want people to think I was a pornography-obsessed nymphomaniac who was slipping subconcious messages into my post. I’m just a pornography-obsessed nymphomaniac, that’s all!
My apology to you all - not for the mishap, but for the monster it’s become :
The typo was an honest mistake
That I couldn’t edit
And though I laughed myself red in the face
I couldn’t believe I’d said it.
And so to you, my dearest friends
I wanted you to know I was sorry
Not because it would offend
But because I’d hijacked a story.
Then much as I’d tried to escape it,
It appeared again and again
It seems the board enjoyed it
And it has become the stuff of legends
And so when you see the phrase appear
Remember, I meant not to annoy
It was one of those catchy phrases, dear,
That everyone seems to enjoy.
So ride with it, I say to myself,
And just learn to make do.
And so my fondest wish to you all:
May penis always ensue.
What’s DHIBJD?
…I think… it’s… wait…ahem:
Double Headed Ice Blue Jelly Dildo - usually about 18"?
Did I get that right?
IIRC it’s “…Jelly Dong” but otherwise that’s spot on.
And you know what happens in the case of the DHIBJD…
[sub]Penis ensues twice. I couldn’t think of an amusing way of saying it.[/sub]
While typing a letter for a former boss, I typed “And please continue to tell us who we’re doing”, rather than his usual ending of “how we’re doing”. He had a good sense of humour, so we had a good laugh over it. I used to do this kind of thing in typing class, too - I suspect my brain was just having some fun with me while it was bored.
In that case, I’m pleased to mate your acquaintance.
I often forget the word I’m looking for entirely. Replacements for the needed word don’t just put themselves in, fortunately.
There was the time when I was on the phone with a male friend who was being especially teasing. I told him, jokingly, that I was going to kick his ass. Only “kick” came out “kiss.” Very seriously, he said, “I’m not into that stuff.”
Then he laughed. A lot.
It’s a malaprop, that’s what it is. Sort of like my Mum, whose first language is not English, bungling idioms like:
‘I don’t want to get under your feet’ only she said ‘I don’t want to get between your legs’. :eek:
Or Ethel in Eastenders saying ‘don’t be so polaroid’, and Granny in AbFab saying ‘have you tried one of those homophobic remedies?’
Penis ensued.
Congratulations Anastasaeon for coining a new classic. 