Raiders of the Lost Ark, at the grand, old, and aggressively misspelled Suniland Theater, in the Kendall neighborhood south of Miami, on a summer weekend afternoon with a couple of friends from seventh grade. What made this special for me was that I was seeing it with both a girl and a boy, and I’d bravely set up the whole thing myself (which meant, yes, I was calling up boys, for the first time! – and catching a couple of their parents first, yikes), and this was the first time I’d ever done anything like this, being painfully self-conscious and socially awkward, even when compared to other twelve-year-olds. This was a triumph for me, a real therapeutic breakthrough of sorts. It bore the intoxicating, seductive promise of the social whirl that might still be mine in the future, when I might be popular, and have a lot of friends, and even be – normal? – if I could only find a way to keep doing these kinds of things… like going to the movies with girl friends and boy friends.
And it didn’t hurt that the Suniland was the classic traditional movie palace, with stained, red velvet drapes of indeterminable age that would part before the show, a roomy balcony that cantilevered way forward in a seemingly impossible fashion over the back rows, and perpetually sticky floors. Disgustingly sticky floors. But it was the closest thing to traditional, if tattered, old-world glamour in our suburban neighborhood, a confidently sprawling suburb south and west of rather less new other suburbs on the outer edges of one of the rudest and most persistently booming cities in the country, where if it predates 1960 it’s solid, and if it predates the war, it’s positively old-timey.
We saw Raiders with mostly other kids in the audience. A decent showing, if far from full. The climactic Ark scene with the “melting face” effects caused a sensation. We spilled out into the harsh Miami glare, jabbering, rattling off our favorite moments, our own faces beginning to sweat in the midday glare.
Flash forward about fourteen years…
I’m watching Ed Wood in a raucous, full house at some soulless, undistinguished multiplex in New Jersey, with my guy-housemates, 'cause we’re all buddies. There’s this scene in the movie where the hapless director attends the premiere of his now-legendary Plan 9 From Outer Space at the Pantages in Los Angeles, where his party is waylaid by a crowd of young hooligans, who have been throwing popcorn and soda at the screen, jeering for the show to start, getting into all sorts of horseplay…
And then it hit me: this moviehouse mayhem was only a slightly exaggerated and senior-high-ish updating of the unruly [ten o’clock? noon?] four-hour-long kiddie shows held on selected weekday mornings during the summers at the Suniland in the '70s! Parents would drop off their elementary-school-age kids (including, one summer, my brother and I, when I was, oh, aged six or seven or maybe eight, tops) at the Suniland for a special program of marginally supervised chaos involving a host, maybe a cartoon or two, snack bags, an audience-participation game or singalong or talent show or something (with more giveaways – candy treats for the winners, or willing participants, or somesuch), and finally a short, silly G-rated feature (or maybe two!). Surely this explains the floors at the Suniland – tacky with the amberized remains of an elementary school’s worth of swilled sodas and candies, deposited week after week, summer after summer, and no amount of mopping could ever clean it all up, as if they even tried.
I’d completely forgotten about those morning shows at the Suniland, all about those thrilling outings, when just us kids got to indulge in a massive sugar buzz lasting hours in a cavernous space with, thrillingly, no parental supervision whatsoever. Hadn’t recalled them at all for years and years, in fact, until that scene in Ed Wood brought it all back. In retrospect, these shows must’ve been a godsend to our harried, stressed-out, or simply bored-to-Valium suburban moms. Our glamorous kiddie extravaganzas were just a regularly-scheduled and rather gimcrack babysitting service for the mothers, who would seize the opportunity to do some errands or catch lunch – no doubt, a sanity break – with a friend.
I don’t think the Suniland continued with the kiddie program much beyond my participation in it, if at all. Sadly, I doubt that kind of commercial activity would be remotely viable nowadays, what with the litigiousness of our culture, with its skyrocketing insurance rates for everything, our increased awareness of pedophiles and so forth and so on. Children are so neurotically fussed over now, so much more attentively supervised and chaperoned everywhere, so preciously safeguarded, you couldn’t just dump them off at a seedy moviehouse dive where a couple of untrained high-school- or college-aged wage-slaves would be responsible for the lot just so’s you can pick up the dry-cleaning and have your Tuesday lunch with Phyllis.
But it’s a wonderful thing, to have had your childhood bracketed by a movie theater like the Suniland!