I had a light blue Ford Fairmont station wagon. I was called the Smurfmobile. My kids even put Smurf stickers on the back of the car. I hated driving that car.
My mini van is Jean Claude Damn Van.
This just cracked me up!
We call all the latest model Cadillacs ‘Bloat Boats’ because it looks like somebody shoved a potato in the exhaust pipe causing the the whole car to inflate.
We also had an enormous blue 70s American monster sedan that did not seem to like me and was hard to steer which we still refer to as ‘Ghidra’ after one of Godzilla’s foes.
I had a 1980 Jeep Cherokee that my friends named “The Behemoth.” Damn, I miss that Jeep!
My current car is a 1984 Honda Accord that I call “Rosie.” Why? Because she may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but like my hand, she usually gets me where I want to go! 
I had a '93 Blue 4-Door Saturn - Standard Transmission, since it had a stick and was made in TN - I named it ELVIS - Lay Off My Blue Suede Car. Thank You, Thank You Very Much. It has died, but is being resurrected, and is has been spotted in MD.
My 1996 Impala SS is often called the “Pimpala” by my friends.
I want to get a vanity plate that says that, but I don’t think the man will let it happen.
My mother in law’s van is nicknamed “The dustbuster” (in profile, it looks like a dust buster, minus the handle).
when I had to drive it, it was called “the mobile embarasment”.
now I have my own car, a cooper, and his nickname is “the gov’na”
I have a 109 version of the land Rover called “The Anti-Christ”. Mine is called Sheila. As in She’ll, uh, need some break work, and she’ll, uh, need a new carburetor, and she’ll, uh, need to be filled with lubricants before you start her up.
My Dodge Minivan (company car) was called Morrison. My Probe was Catherine- catherine the great, that is, and I had a 67 chrysler newport I just called Bitch.
b.
A co-worker had a 1980-something Dodge (or something) compact car. Even though the car was well past its prime. Since it had pretty much outlived its usefulness and he kept poring money into it, I dubbed “The Mir”. The name stuck, but he got rid of it not too long after Mir was brought down from orbit.
My parents used to have a Toyota Corolla Seca that they called “Judith Durham”.
- Bubba
I have a 2000 Civic Hatchback with the loud sound system, exhaust, and the nice huge shiny wheels. Since I didn’t lower it yet, I affectionately refer to it as my knocked up roller skate.
In case you want to see pictures, go here:
Type “Stccrd” under the username
Try the following spelling variations: “P1mpala” or “P1mpa1a,” the TN DMV is not noted for their intelligence.
From Good Omens:
He called it Dick Turpin in the vague hope that someone would ask him why.
.
.
. 200 pages later
.
.
Why?
Because where ever I go, I hold up traffic.
I feel the urge to point out that the guy in your dorm apparently couldn’t tell the Canterbury Tales from the Faerie Queene…
My sister named her 2000 Jimmy “Vingilot,” for Earendil’s ship (see Tolkien’s Unfinished Tales). My car never did have a name that stuck, though.
For a while my mom had a Cadillac – I forget exactly what kind – which we called the QEII because of its impressive, nay boatlike, size.
And when I was little my dad had a Silverado with brown and tan paneling which was dubbed “Chocolate Silverado Thunder” (the “Silverado” part was at my insistence – it was right there on the van, of course; obviously, it must have been its name! ;)) He later got a similar one with green paneling, which became known as “Mint Thunder.”
1997 Saturn Wagon - The Tupperware Torpedo
My 1979 Mazda GLC was referred to as the “Great Little Car” by my mother. However, I simply called it “Bert, the turd” for some long-forgotten reason, possibly having to do with its color (sh*t brown).
A friend’s 1976 Ford Gran Torino was the “Destroyer.”
Another friend drove an old Chevy pick-up that had been his families farm truck for many years, and showed it. It was covered with bondo patches, dents, dings, had a rotting easy chair in the bed, and a spotlight. He called it “Matilda” while the rest of us called it “the Death Star.”
That van has got to be a Silhouette. Those things have the most sloped front ends I’ve ever seen. Kinda dustbusterish, I think.
And I thought of your Mini when I saw this!
I call my car (VW Golf) the Golf Ball. Hellishly original, don’t you think?
For no apparent reason, my '98 Lumina Sedan (Maroon) is known as “Car Car Binks.”
My Fiancee is planning on getting on of those bright green New Beetles, and naming it “Buggy Greenbug.”
'73 Rivera w/ 455 - “Pretzel”.
My first car was a '68 Mercury Comet. It was the most horrendous shade of green. It had been washed and waxed so many times, the paint was wearing off in spots, giving it a splotchy two tone look. We named it The Vomit. Man, that thing was hideous. Of course, it was 20 years old at the time.