Do you have a nickname for your automobile?

I just heard a story on the radio about how 6 out of 10 people believe your car says something about you, and that 2 out of 10 people have a nickname for their car. We all hear these surveys in the news and yeah, they’re silly but I’m sure there’s some truth to them. I’m a car guy, always interested in the ebb and flow of the industry, design trends, corporate partnerships, car culture and the like. While this board certainly isn’t an automotive forum and a lot of the Ignorance Fighters strike me as being of the “A to B” mindset (or the “it’s just an appliance that gets me from here to there and vice versa” mindset), I also know there are some car folks here. Either way, I’m sure people from both persuasions could chime in on this. Basically a two-part question. I think your car says something about you, and here are some common automotive stereotypes … nobody will be spared! :stuck_out_tongue:

Late-model luxury import (BMW/Mercedes/Audi/Lexus/Infiniti)
You’ll see my car in six months at the nearest lease buyback dealer because I either couldn’t swing the ridiculous payment or decided to get the same model again fresh off the showroom floor just for the sake of having something new.

Any Acura
I’m such a sucker that I let a salesperson convince me I didn’t just buy a front-wheel-drive Honda with a smoother-revving engine and a bit more insulation.

Hummer
I have a serious attention whore complex and own stock in a petroleum company.

Hummer H2 or H3
I have a serious attention whore complex and can’t afford a Hummer.

Sports Car
I’m divorced or soon will be / My wife hates me just a bit more than I hate her.

Chevy Camaro/Pontiac Firebird
I have a switchblade and a pack of smokes and I don’t need a reason to race you, fight you, or apologize for either.

Ford Mustang
I don’t like the claustrophobic interior of a Camaro/Firebird.

Compact ‘Sporty’ Car
I’m into cars but I’m poor. ← (me)

Fast & Furious Riceboy
I am an attention whore without any taste or interest in what actually makes cars unique or special.

Any best-selling import (Honda Civic/Accord, Toyota Corolla/Camry or any derivation of these platforms to another model)
I have no interest in cars whatsoever. It’s A-to-B for me.

These are all humorous generalizations, of course, but I’m certain there’s a little truth in all of them. So, do you have a nickname for your car, and do you really think the car conveys something about you? I’ll go first. I have a bright blue Mazda 3 which I’ve had for two years and I figured if I hadn’t named it by now, I wasn’t about to start … although a friend of mine called it “Marzdy”, a bizarre portmanteau of my name (Marty) and the manufacturer, and it was so cute it just kinda stuck. :slight_smile:

Please share your car’s name or add to the list of stereotypes if you’ve got a good one!

Sorry if this topic has popped up before. I’d be surprised if it hadn’t … but “car” is an unfortunate victim of the Dope’s search feature and “automobile nickname” came back with nil. :smiley:

Big Red and Little Red. Prior to that we had Big Blue and Little Blue. I think sometimes a vehicle can say something about it’s owner, but that’s not always true (and not always a good thing, either!).

Cute names, but what cars do they belong to? It’s useless unless you say what they are!

Big Red is a Trans Am; Little Red is a Ford Ranger. 'Nuff said.

I just call my Corolla the Shitbox. Not that its bad, but it probably is compared to what sits in our office parking lot. Most of my colleagues won’t drive anything that wasn’t made in Germany, except for the young guy we hired last year. He drives a Lexus.

And the sterotype describes me pretty well. I take no joy in driving. For me its a chore and no amount of money I spend on a car would it pleasurable. The car has nothing. No power windows, power doors, power anything. But its gets pretty good gas mileage and gets me to work.

I suppose if BMW were to introduce a vehicle with anti-tank launchers or a windows that could flash “Don’t even think about cutting me off you dicksmack” I would consider it. But until then, I’ll drive the Shitbox… until it dies.

Back when I drove this I used to call it the Mean Green Machine. Kind of childish, but appropriate.

Unfortunately, that wonderful green machine had some major problems last year and I had to sell it. I’ll be getting a new (new for me, not literally new) vehicle this coming summer. In the interrim I’ve been driving my dad’s spare car, a black 1999 Camry. I don’t have a nickname for it.

When I do get another vehicle this summer, it will probably be another rugged and very off-road capable SUV, pre-1990. But I am also considering a Jeep Grand Wagoneer. If I get one of these, I already have a name picked out for it: Wagon Christ (after one of my favorite electronica artists.) I might even get a custom plate: WGNCHRST. (I’m pretty sure that one is not taken!)

Eli.

1985 Oldsmobile Cutlass. "A"body

In used to call my old Chevy “John Paul I,” because it died every 30 days.

My friend Sharon called her car “Helen Keller,” because the headlights and radio didn’t work.

My boyfriend drove a Ford Explorer when I met him, affectionately referred to as Dora.

An ex-girlfriend always calls her car, no matter what it is, “Betsy.”

My Fiat #1 was “Sophia,” #2 was “Gina”. Italian names seemed appropriate.

My VW was “Gretchen,” and my Toyota, “Teri” (for Teriyaki).

My '74 Ford Mustang, which was the biggest piece of crap ever, never lasted long enough to get a name. Maybe it should have been “Betsy Wetsy,” as it always leaked.

Oh, and for the stereotypes (from my own personal experience. Most of these characters are actually real people) :

Chevy Cavalier/Pontiac Sunfire/Jeep Liberty: I’m a sorority girl and my upper-middle-class father bought me this. I have a Hawaiian Lei that I brought back from SPRING BREAK!!!1111 hanging from the rear view mirror.

New Audi or Lexus: I’m a sorority girl from the East Coast and my rich lawyer/dentist daddy bought this for me. I have to take off my high heels to drive it, and my pet poodle sits in the passenger’s seat in his Dolce and Gabanna dog case.

New black Jeep Grand Cherokee: I’m a frat guy. I drink Keystone Light and have a $2500 plasma screen TV in my room, which has florescent lights and Maxim posters on the walls, and red plastic cups everywhere. If you don’t like it, you’re GAY, dude.

BMW X3 or X5: I’m a 30s-to-40s wife, who married a rich lawyer or dentist who bought me this SUV. Maybe I also show houses for a high end real estate company, but I don’t really need the money. I want to be both sporty and rugged, while having enough space to carry my kids and all their soccer gear. We live in a house in an upscale suburb, and our son Chad is a business major who was just accepted into Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

Slightly worn Pre-90s Volvo sedan or Saab 900: I’m a professor, probably liberal arts or math. I live in an older house, small but classy, with stone walls and vines all over it. My hobbies include stargazing with a telescope, drinking wine, and listening to jazz and classical music. My house has wooden bookcases, books all over the place, worn furniture, and warm yellow lighting. I realize that you can live a classy life on a modest income by not having a brand new car and not living in a brand new suburban house. My kids are in their late teens or twenties and listen to indie rock.

80s Suburban, Dodge Ram, or Toyota pickup I’m small-time repairman, woodworker, or mechanic. I live just on the outskirts of the main area of the town, or out in the country. I’m in my mid-20s or early 30s and I used to smoke a lot of weed (maybe still do) and probably was or still am what you would call a “rocker,” but I had to grow up and so a manual trade was the easiest route since my dad taught me (and I enjoy doing it.) I might not make a huge salary but I live in a small house in the country and have an old truck, so I still live decently. My hobbies are fishing and camping. I have a dog, probably a mix-breed. There is a southwest-style woven blanket over the rear bench seat of my Suburban, which is two-tone.

Brand new Dodge Ram or Chevy Silverado: I’m a contractor, a very successful one, who has enough money to get any number of sports cars, but I want to broadcast the fact that I’m still man enough to work with my hands, so I bought a brand new shiny 2007 Dodge Ram with a quad cab, heated leather seats and DVD players (even though it’s rounded, curvy, and bulky, and rather cheap looking - it’s NEW, so everyone who sees me in it will know that I’m successful.) I bought my son, who is on the high school wrestling team, a brand new dirt bike for his 15th birthday. I also have 2 ATVs and 2 other dirt bikes, and a new bass boat. My wife drives a brand new 2007 Tahoe or Suburban (she didn’t want to get stuck in a mom-mobile, but she still wanted leather seats, lots of space, and high seating.)

1980s Toyota Land Cruiser, 4Runner, Mitsubishi Montero, or Isuzu Trooper, slightly lifted, with a roof rack, spare tire on the back, off-road lights, and a bunch of camping and obscure band stickers on the back: I’m friends with Argent Towers.

My favorite car nickname is from a Christopher Moore book, Coyote Blue. The car is an old Buick Riviera, called “Black Cloud Follows” by its Native American owner.

I call my cars “Betsy” too.

I’ve named some of my cars over the years. At the moment I have a '98 black Toyota Tacoma named Zippy. Like me, it’s sorta fast, cheap, getting a little old and dented, and likely to be driven until it just stops one day.

In the past I had Miss Daisy, a raddled old '66 Buick Skylark that I got for maybe $100 and expected to last for a few months, but she coughed and wheezed her way an additional seven years.

Starbug was an almost new green Ford Ranger. I still miss Starbug, who was traded in for an unnamed gray Taurus which has been very reliable, but totally without personality. Mostly I let Mr. Cake drive it. I prefer Zippy, even with the hail damage and bent bumper.

I miss the Ratmobile.

My dad needed a cheap commuter car for a new job at Ford many years ago. So, he picked up the cheapest new car he could with the Ford name on it: a gray '94 Ford Aspire hatchback. When I was in high school, it was my de facto car, since by then we had leased a nicer car for him.

By that time, it had been either abandoned or abused for many years. Dad would actually be commuting in company test cars most of the time, so much of the time the Ratmobile was sitting in a driveway or parking lot. Except when he’d need to drive halfway across the country.

It’s hard to describe how shitty that car was by the time I got to drive it. Some of the paint was blistering, and the trim had yellowed and cracked. Most of the hubcaps were missing. The inside was stained by baked-in spills from the aforementioned cross-country trips. I named it from its resemblance to a large mangy rat… thus, the Ratmobile.

Mechanically, it was functional, but only for suitably small values of “functional”. The engine, a pair of sickly and aged Hamsters on wheels as we believed, never broke, but it never really… ran. The car could manage highway speeds, as long as it wasn’t going up a slight grade or any sort of headwind. Steering the thing was more like… giving suggestions as to where it should go. The suspension, I believe, served to keep the car out of contact with the ground more often than not. In that car, taking a corner with Michigan’s potholes was terrifying. Hell, anything faster than 25 on smooth pavement was terrifying. The muffler sprouted many holes, which were patched up, but eventually we gave up on that. The transmission was similarly dodgy. It was a manual (which I prefer) but it didn’t like to stay in certain gears… it would pop out of 2nd if you didn’t hold it there, and it was a battle to get it to 3rd.

Theres much more… but I kind of miss that car. Mostly because I’m going to college in BFE, and I don’t have any kind of ride…

The biggest advantage of such a small shitty car? You can park in the half-spaces next to those assholes that take up two parking spaces, to protect their shiny new cars. Bonus for parking on the driver’s side. And what are they gonna do? Key it? Hah! Slash the tires? It could only improve things. Oh, sweet, sweet schadenfreude…

There are other hilariously awful memories… Pulling up at a stoplight, next to a similarly shitty car, and revving the unmuffled engine; the ensuing “drag race” to see if either of us could actually reach the speed limit.

Sadly (I suppose), we gave it up last year. The brakes failed, the clutch really didn’t clutch anything, and a bunch of other little things needed attention. Since the parts had to be imported from Korea, it would have cost far more than the car was worth to fix it. So, my parents had the Ratmobile towed off for some charitable organization.

ok, I had a Camero (don’t remember the yr) called it "The White Cloud) was in High School then. Had a Toyota Paseo I called the "Silver Bullet) Then had a Saturn (no name)but it was eggplant colored. Now I drive a 03’ Chrysler Voyager and her name is “Jade”! I named her that because of her color. Jade Pearl. I didn’t want the pearl part. There you go!

When I get a car, I want to name it Starship Izzy (my name is Izzy)

My best friend just got a big grey car and I named it Barbara Manatee.
As for stereotypes… I couldn’t tell you anything at all about cars (except that I want one with an engine, heat, and four doors) so mine are:

fancy car: you’re rich
shitty car: you’re not rich.
hummer: we probably have nothing in common

Sister Kate

As in the jazz classic Shimmy Like My Sister Kate

I have a 2000 Chevy Metro I occasionally refer to as ‘The Flying Egg’.

No nickname for my car. It’s a 2001 Nissan Sentra that’s in very nice shape and will be with me till it falls apart (or at least that’s this week’s plan). I’m definitely an A-to-B kind of person.

GT