Not wanting to hurt my family, and being curious about the future. Plus I’d be scared to make things worse. If I jump off a bridge I might just wind up a quadriplegic, but without the perky attitude and spectacularly rich family found in awesome quadriplegics.
spite
Cowardice.
I’m too stupid to realize that quitting is an option.
Hoping that someday I’ll look back and say, damn, look what I went through, but I got through it. I managed and survived. Go me! and give myself a big pat on the back.
Beer and spicy food.
Yes, I want to see how this saga of human civilization turns out.
Yep… My mother committed suicide, and I hurt… I’ve sworn I won’t hurt others the same way.
That, and so many other good things. Books to read, places to go, food to eat!
And the unexpected!
One day, many many years ago, I was down, and thinking sad thoughts. At one point, I got up and took a whiz. A pee. And the urine came out in a forked stream, half to either side of the toilet! After I mopped it all up, I thought: any world in which that sort of thing can happen is a world I’m not finished with yet!
Music.
The New Horizons spacecraft arrives at Pluto in July 2015. I really want to see what Pluto looks like, so I’m good until then.
My nine year old grandson. My stepson’s adopted boy. He is my everything. I would never want him to think he wasn’t enough.
I want to see how Breaking Bad ends.
I want to see how A Song of Ice and Fire ends (which should keep me going awhile.)
I’m not necessarily sure that death will bring me peace. Just in case death turns out worse than life, I might as well maximize life as much as possible.
My girls.
And I came in to praise that answer. So there is at least three of us ;).
As for myself I’ve never really felt quite that kind of existential despair - I’m guessing I’m just not wired for it. But there are a million things I enjoy in life. Just the other day I watched a White-tailed Kite catch a small snake about 25 yards from where I was walking. Pretty neat.
All the little things, and all the big things, and the fact that experience tells me that however bad it is, it’s not forever. Things *will *get better. They will, in fact, get fabulous (and then at some point they’ll suck again, but hey… lather, rinse, repeat).
My awesome dog, Brewster. Taking care of him and keeping him happy is what keeps me going, and he returns my love for him a million-fold. Without him, I’d be all out of give a shit.
My daughter, my wife, my parents, maybe my closest friends.
I want to see Louis C.K. on SNL, so I’m good for another 4 hours!
(And my sweetheart, cat and the release of the Zerg portion of Starcraft 2)
I have suicidal ideation so this comes up from time to time.
Usually somewhere in the murk I remember some small, but important, thing that I need to be around for and it’s enough to postpone the serious planning.
Someone’s gotta do what has to be done. Someone has to make the meals, put the kids to bed, comfort them when they’re sad and be their champion when no one else will. I love my husband dearly, but he doesn’t seem well equipped to do those things. So one of us has to.
Also, progress. Any little evidence of a step forward, whatever its cause and however little, is worth noting and celebrating and keeps me going.
Humor. Many situations that seem terrible or disgusting or obnoxiously inconvenient are funny later.