Right now I drive a Subaru Legacy. I’m very happy with it, but it’s getting old and starting to break down a bit. My main objection to the Subaru Legacy is that the doors seem awfully thin. If somebody T-bones me, that could be a big problem.
Anyway, I want a family sized sedan with 4-wheel drive (like the Subaru). I also prefer a manual transmission. My main priority is that I want to maximize safety.
Any suggestions?
Volvo, but the repair costs can be a bit staggering.
Stay with the Subaru.
FYI regarding your concerns on being t-boned, http://drive2.subaru.com/Sum06_WhatsInside.htm
If you want your car to be more safe, you need to start lobbying for all the other vehicles to reduce their size and get the bumpers all at the same level and stuff. 
ETA: I realize that isn’t very helpful - how about a Honda Civic? They have very high safety ratings.
BMW
I’m leaning towards my next car being a Subaru - for safety reasons. As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown more cautious. I had heard that they were bringing out a hybrid this year, but so far it is a no-show. Speculation is because of the disasters in Japan.
My Legacys always felt a bit flimsy, so I started buying Outbacks. http://www.iihs.org/ratings/rating.aspx?id=1166
I love my Subaru Outback. Doesn’t feel flimsy at all. Great safety rating.
I’ve done a bit of research on this exact thing, and I think an Acura TL is really the best for the money (IMHO of course, and noting that I’m partial to Hondas and somewhat meh about BMWs after having one and really liking it but paying out the ass for the car itself and tires and premium gas and insurance). Anything cheaper won’t have everything you want or won’t be nearly as good, and anything more expensive isn’t necessarily all that much better.
I thought I would try to help the cause of this thread not getting chock full of suggestions that don’t meet the OP’s requirements. The OP wants an all-wheel drive car with a manual transmission. The above suggestions miss at least one of those marks.
Not the Outback, unless you’re saying that pushes the definition of “car.” Also, since a stick shift is only a preference and safety a priority, I’d say the Volvos are a perfectly good suggestion.
I don’t understand this, unless I’m being whooshed. The Outback IS a Legacy with a few luxury/psuedo offroad doo-dads tacked on. It’s not like Subaru put more robust doors on the Outback than they do on the Legacy, the just add some plastic cladding on the lower doors. Of zero value in a crash.
The VW CC (a sporty Passat) is all wheel drive and available in manual. The boyfriend had one, and that thing was like the TARDIS- HUGE on the inside. Routinely fit five full-sized adults, with no one feeling cramped, and the truck was at least two-three bodies’ worth. Great safety ratings, fabulous gas mileage, and it looked fantastic. I loved that car. 
Go here for a comprehensive aggregated list of all available IIHS and NHTSA crash test results. Note the new IIHS “Small offset” frontal rating.
There is no doubt that the Volvo S60 is far and away the safest car you can buy right now, if safety is your primary concern. It is available with AWD but IIRC not with a manual transmission at the same time, and it is a little smaller than what the American market would consider “family sized”.
For larger offerings, the Ford Taurus SHO is AWD but not manual, and as it is based on a Volvo engineered platform it also does very well in crash safety. Same for the Buick Lacrosse.
Ignore anyone who complains about the “doors being thin”. They are complaining about the lack of about 0.25c worth of spray-on foam sound deadening in the door panels that have nothing to do with crash safety. Subarus are terrible cars for a number of reasons and people who own Subarus are universally assholes, but traditionally they have been some of the most crash-safe cars you can buy on the market, due to a combination of great engineering and extensive use of high strength boron steel in the pillars, other car makers have generally caught up in this respect though.
OK fine on the Volvo/preference thing. But the OP said “sedan,” so I think that leaves SUV-ish crossover-ish vehicles like the Outback right out (pending clarification from the OP). And I thought the Outback only offered the standard in the crappy versions (but I may be wrong there).
(And really, all these threads go this way, so I’m not sure why I’m even trying to help. But I mean . . . a Civic? I’m a Honda guy and can be trusted to always sing the praises of the Honda that seems closest to a person’s needs/wants, but it’s patently clear the OP is not looking for a Civic. Really the Crosstour comes closest (but a standard is available only in the four-banger).)
No, you’re wrong. The crappy version is of course the one with all the gizmos you don’t need and the overpowered H6 engine, and it only comes with an auto. You can get a stick in the good version, which comes with a nice frugal 4-cylinder engine and an interior uncluttered with unnecessary features. 
(I do agree with what you’re saying about the Civic, though. Also, you can’t get the Crosstour with a stick at all.)
Quote snipped by me.
What? Did you just call a bunch of us assholes? May I have some specifics on why you feel they are "Terrible cars "?
As for the flimsy comment, when I said Outback, I meant the wagon. My 05 Legacy 4 door weighed about 300lbs less, and had worse safety ratings. http://www.iihs.org/ratings/rating.aspx?id=259&seriesId=358. It Felt flimsy. If I slammed the door, the car rattled. In my Wagon, if I slam the door, my house windows rattle. It was not a woosh. It is about feel, which is subjective.
I Also don’t get the doesn’t meet criteria comment. 5 doors, AWD, stick shift is acceptable, no?