Can you imagine it? You’d be all like swimming in the ocean and having a good time and people would be like, “Look at the fish.” But all the time you’d be winking to yourself that “I’m not a fish.”
The joke would be on them. Then some scientist would come up and recognize you and he’d run back and tell his geeky friends, but you’d simply swim away, knowing that the other scientists would say that ichthyosaurs were extinct and from that day on everyone would think he’s crazy.
Can there be any answer other than a T Rex? Running around with your teeny arms and giant head, striking fear into everyone around you. Munching on their bodies, screaming so loudly that everyone else cowers in terror. That’s the life for me!
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it’s about some kids freeing a velociraptor trapped in a freezer, later the kids and scientists are chasing a moonwalking T-Rex in a jeep going in reverse. T-Rex is so traumatized by the experience she runs to the toilet and throws up a lawyer.
Neanderthal. Maybe I could use that muscly and bone-dense frame to make a fortune as a pro athlete. It’d be hilarious if it turned out I was perfectly suited for tennis or golf. I think I could blend in more or less.
The megatherium. Besides the simple joys of being a giant sloth, they’re also thought to have been bad-ass enough to find kills made by saber-toothed cats and chase the cats away so they could get some free protein. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Pliocene era carnivores!
