OK, weirdass, nearly unanswerable question time…what breed of horses would the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have riden?
Has there been any theological discussion on the subject? I mean, if Thomas Aquinas pondered wether Angels could dance on the head of a pin,—sorta—you’d think someone would have wondered about the Horsemen’s rides.
Or, at least…can anyone here conjecture what breed of horse your average cavalryman would have riden, in the time and place of Revelations’ writing?
You have the wrong tense. The Apocalypse hasn’t occured yet so it is what the horsemen WILL be riding.
They would ride bicycles, of course.
This is just a matter of opinion, not to mention that the apocalypse is mostly a symbolic book, but I always imagined that the horses could only look like the ones Frazetta made for the Death Dealer:
http://www.darkhorse.com/profile/profile.php?sku=12-679
The original artwork is more impressive:
Things that don’t/won’t exist can’t ride horses.
Dang. Can’t you guys open your minds up enough for two damned seconds to discuss a hypothetical question?
I’m going to assume the 4HOTA wouldn’t be riding carthorse, but cavalry/warhorse type animals.
That said, the Romans would most likely have had the horses the author of Revelations would have been most familiar with. The Romans typically hired auxiliary cavalry, although, as the following link describes, they did have some of their own. There’s a lot of good background infor here:
I was thinking unicycles, actually.
Dead ones.
Well, one was white, one was bright red, one was black, and one was pale green. So I don’t think your going to find a likely candidate breed.
Could be demonic warpaint a la Native American tribes (who did it sans the demonic part).
Images seem to either horses of bones (there by being Equitrius ossein) or muscular like a shaved Arabian. A horse, not a human silly. 
Death rides a pale horse, famine a thin one. Pestilence a sick one, and war a huge charger. Beyond that, breed is probably irrelevant.
And Kaos has a chariot.
PONYS!
CUTE LEEDLE PONYS!
With ribbons in their manes. And flowers and jinglebells and and and…
Damn. That prescription cough medicine sure is strong, isn’t it?
named Binky.
Cite? Mine is from the sixth chapter of The Revelation to John. I can’t find your descriptions or the names of the horsemen anywhere in Scripture. (The names, at least, are certainly widely known, presumably from later tradition.)
Nope. Death tried that once. He had to keep stopping to wire bits back on.
Let’s move with the times, people. It’s now The Four Motorcyclists of the Apocalypse.
Harleys.
No.
We don’t have to, because this is the forum for questions with factual answers, not ‘unanswerable’ questions.
Those hypothetical thingamjigs go over pretty well in IMHO and MPSIMS , though.
Now, if the question had been “What kind of horse does Dubya ride?”…
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels. The Four Horseman appear in Thief of Time. Kaos was with them before they became famous, and is to be found in Ankh Morpork under the cunning disguise of a milkman named Ronnie Soak.
Since they’re supposed to be scary, I figure they’d drive slammed '74 Pintos sporting Firestone 500 radials.
Or Hummers, maybe. Unfortunately, “Four Hummers of the Apocalypse” sounds like an alternate title for the Sex and the City finale.