I used to work with a Richard (“Dick”) Lust, which is still the top for me.
My boss’s surname is “Roach.” (I work for a property management company.)
One of my favourite old letters is one from the old days when he was actually a strata (condo) agent and not strictly an executive type. It was a reply to a complaint letter addressed “To whom it may concern” at our office, explaining the cold hard facts that cockroach infestations limited to a single strata lot are the owners’ responsibility, nothing we can do about it, and signed (of course) by a Roach. Ha!
In the same office, I saw a letter addressed to two owners: “Mr. Finger and Ms. Beaver.” No doubt they were drawn toward each other because they each understood the hell that the other had endured at school. I’m still disappointed that they didn’t marry and hyphenate.
I knew a guy in college whose last name was Bonk. The last I heard from several years ago, he bashed his mom in the head with a steel galvanized pipe. Based on the news articles that I read at the time, she survived, and he took some kind of a plea deal. His mom said that if it were up to her, he wouldn’t have been charged.
One of our customers at work has a last name of Forskin.
This family (well, I guess I can’t know that it’s the same family. . . but if you’re in Arizona, I know they do business there. . .) is a very prominent one in my city. Nice folks.
I knew someone with the last name “seeman” although I don’t recall the spelling and I’m pretty sure that was not it.
His first name, I kid you not, was Dudley.
I also used to run a membership organization, and I would shake my head in wonder at the names of some of the members. It was like their parents had a major hate thing going on for their babies as soon as they were born, because the first-name last-name combos were just aggressively ugly.
I don’t want to quote any real names because I wouldn’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt if they found me ridiculing them via Google, but here are made-up versions that I swear to you are no worse than the actual names I encountered: Dertzel Flug, Horatio Finnbinder, Erwin Queed.
I know people can’t help the last names they get stuck with, but surely the parents could have chosen less atrocious word pairs, like Robert Flug, Edward Finnbinder, Michael Queed. Part of it was probably generational - I’m sure there are names I think sound fine that younger people find impossibly unattractive/old fashioned - but that hardly seems enough to explain it.
My drill sargeant, in Basic Training at Ft. Jackson, SC in 1974, was named Ogg.
Sounds like a cavewoman, and boy she was tough. But we came to respect her a great deal. I wish I could trace her and send her a note or something. On the off chance someone else here knew her, her first name started with C.
Maybe the first name was Dorcas, which is an old bible name. I’ve always liked it, but there is no way in hell I’d name a kid this name in this day and age.
We have a friend whose last name is Butzine. It sounds like a magazine about butts.
My current client boss is named Ogg…first name starts with a D. I don’t imagine it would be original if I tried to nickname him “Dogg.” But he’s a great guy.
Worst last name I ever ran across was in the directory of a multinational firm I used to work for. The name belonged to someone in the Philippine division, so it was probably pronounced differently than it looks to me, but to an English speaker it was pretty strange:
A few years back, we had a local councillor called Nimrod Ping - still my favourite name.
Although a quick check shows he was actually called Adrian Charles Barden Ping by his parents, so he must actually chosen to be called Nimrod. I’d love to know why.
Schmuck and Putz are fairly common names where I live. Every time I encounter someone with one of those names, I have to suppress a snicker, which can be difficult.
And there’s a local dentist named Phil McCracken. That can’t be his real name.
I’m yet another who’s encountered a real-life Mike Hunt. Also a Raper.
A friend from church has the last name B-L-O-M-E. Pronounced with one syllable, fortunately. Super nice guy, but we’re not quite close enough friends for me to ask if he ever caught much flak for his name.
Some years back, the choir at the same church included a guy with the last name of Hornbuckle. Yeesh. But, the dude could sing tenor in a way that I expect could get him into the pants of any girl he wanted. The one time I saw him in a non-church setting he was on a date with a SMOKIN’ hot chick. So there’s that.
And, speaking of people who I’d gladly switch places with despite their awful name, a year-in-sports recap I saw a few days ago reminded me of Edson Buddle. World class soccer player, and a guy who my wife finds quite a bit hotter than me. Can’t say I disagree with her, really.
Gregor Fučka (that little mark means the name is pronounced something like “footch-ka”) may be the guy you’re thinking of. I don’t see any NBA experience listed, but he has played for the Italian national program and numerous top-level European clubs.
