**Learn a hobby that you can take with you. ** ( reading, knitting, crosswords, bowling, whatever.) It is a remarkable way to kill time when you are waiting for something and can start so many conversations. You get alot out of human interaction by these things. Humans, in small doses, are quite nice.
You don’t need a new girlfriend/boyfriend if a relationship has just hit the crapper. Learn to like yourself first and be by yourself.
**Learn basic auto & home repairs. ** When that check engine light comes on, it isn’t for your dining and dancing pleasure. It means something is going wrong and the longer you wait on it, the more of the ‘domino effect’ you will have with other parts that are supporting the going bad part you will suffer greatly.
**If you are a female and dither about auto repair because ‘it’s a man’s job’ or ‘I don’t know anything about cars.’ and do not regularly maintain you car, you are a total and complete putz and I fart in your general direction. ** Whew. I feel better.
[ul]
[li] If there is a horrendous squeak/squeal under your hood when you start up and it takes a bit to fade, it is probably a belt. Minimum cost to replace: $10 or less. [/li][li]Change your oil at a minimum of every 5000-6000miles. ( Consumer reports says every 6k is satisfactory.) Every 3k is just the oil companies wet dream.[/li][li] Become familiar with your car owner’s guide.[/li][li] Wash your vechicle at least once a month and thoroughly detail it at least twice a year. Take a pride in ownership. (If you have kids, this last bit is ok to dismiss.)[/li][li]Learn how to jump start a car and always have cables in your trunk.[/li][/ul]
If you are older and kinda missed out on the computer revolution, and computers scare you ( ok, you are a doper, so this applies to the Luddites you know.) and say, " I don’t know anything about computers." " I don’t like computers." “I’m too stupid to operate one.” Please, kindly grow a pair of balls and get with the program. Computers are here to stay. You can’t avoid them and you are missing out. ( No one under the age of 50 reads an actual newspaper anymore, old timer!) Computers are inanimate objects. They wait patiently for you to figure out a problem and kindly wait for a command of what to do and where to go. Look, you are missing out on porn, you freak! ( sorry, a bit of a rant there.)
The best I can give that isn’t ranty is " The more you invest into your daily life, the more you get out of it."
Excellent advice all around. My advice: Learn to change a tire. This falls under the heading of “don’t depend on someone else for basic activities of daily living.” I’ve seen people get married because they didn’t know how to fix a leaky faucet or balance a check book. Just because your mother always did your laundry doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t know not to mix whites with colors.
I’d say learn how to strike mind-numbing terror into the hearts of those that would set themselves against you, but I didn’t really start learning that skill until my mid-20s.
You should know it by 18 and know either how to master it or how to keep it at bay. The former will allow you a well-lived life, although the latter will not.
I guess what I wanted to say here was that mastering skills “so life won’t hand you your ass” is ultimately an exercise in futility. Life will hand you your ass. Repeatedly. But with the skills, it doesn’t have to happen quite so often and you have some feeling of power over the situation.
The real tragedy is that you have to learn the skills before you can know their worth. Otherwise, you’ll be playing catch-up while holding your disembodied ass and feeling the kind of self-pity that only grows the more you bottle it up. You will be in a suck-it-up situation with ever more and more to suck up.
Know how to get up in the morning at a given time, without relying on another person to haul your ass out of bed.
Know how to start a conversation with someone you want or need to talk to (and how to keep one going, and how to end one).
Know how to lead, how to follow, and how to handle being completely alone for extended periods of time.
By the way, great list, cthiax. It reminds me of this one by Robert A. Heinlein, even though it isn’t a “by 18” list:
If you have enough presence of mind at 18 to even have this occur to you as a question worth asking, you’re already 10 steps further ahead of the game than most people that age.
Not much to add to the great lists above, but I do have this: Prepare to have your ass handed to you. It’s not so bad - really. With your ass in your hands you get a much better perspective on it - you’ll realize it’s attached by Velcro. It’s painful to remove and difficult to reattach, but once it’s back on it’s almost as good as new.
This time without the metaphor: Chances are you will experience failure - maybe even what at first appears to be devastating failure. It’s not fun and is little joy, but if you keep your wits about you, you will make it through. I look back to the major fuckups I foisted upon myself 10, 20 years ago and from where I’m sitting now they may as well have never happened. I look at our 21 year old and the fuckups he foisted upon himself 2 years ago, and he’s pretty much back on track.
That’s not to say choices don’t matter, nor to say that success isn’t better. Far from it. It’s only to say: some degree of failure is inevitable, just don’t let it keep you down - even if (especially when) things look hopeless. You are tougher and more talented than you know.
I saw an interview a few years back with some famous actor, who was recounting his first day on a movie set. He was acting with someone who was a great for that time, and our hero sought advice on how to succeed as an actor. The legend paused a moment, and said, “Show up on time; know your words; and don’t bump into things.”
Learn how to read and follow directions. You might not know how to do some things. . .but, if you learn how to follow written directions, you’ll find that you can do most things. A companion to this one is to know how to read simple diagrams.
Know how to get along with people at a job. I know people in their forties who’re constantly getting fired from one job or another because, “so-and-so doesn’t like me/has it in for me/hates me.” Yeah. That works when you’re 10. Not when you’re older. There might be other reasons you might lose a job, but that one is lame. Especially if it’s used more than once. Or twice. Or five times. You don’t have to love the people, but try not to tick them off.
Learn how to back up your data. Especially if you’re going to college.
Learn how to be on time to things that aren’t work. Just because they’re not paying you doesn’t mean that you have the right to show up half-an-hour late.
Get at least one hobby that requires the presence of others. That way, if you need to meet people–for instance, if you’re going to college, moving to a new town, etc.–you have something that you can do in order to meet people that isn’t going to require a steep learning curve. Note: do not say “reading” and join a book club unless you’ve actually done a book club before (and enjoyed it).
Learn how to be able to look at a map and figure out where you are and how to get where you want to be. This applies equally to state- or country-wide highway maps and city street maps.
Every day, I see tourists staring at maps and am amazed that they found their way here from however many hundreds or thousands of miles away, just to be flummoxed by the last two blocks of the journey because they can’t look at where they’re standing and identify where that is.
Another vitally important skill is being able to say “I don’t know” and “Can you help me?”
Finally - learn how to put out small fires and how to use a fire extinguisher. In the kitchen, a box of baking soda (betcha there’s one in the fridge!) and a large lid are your friends. While you’re learning how to cook, the occasional fire is not unheard of. Learn how to manage them so the damage is limited to a charcoaled dinner and not burn the house down.
Don’t cosign for an account with anyone you’re not married to, and possibly not even then. That buddy you’re “just doing a favor for” can disappear from your life and proceed to wreck your credit. Be smart, don’t let anyone but you control your credit record.
Don’t associate with losers. Befriend, date, marry, and work for people who are both compassionate and intelligent. If you associate with people who are only compassionate, they will try to help you, but will screw things up unintentionally. If you associate with people who are only intelligent, they may or may not want to help you. If they do help you, it may come with a price. Last, they can screw things up for you, INTENTIONALLY.
But, if they are smart and kind, they will have both ability and desire to help you when the going gets tough.
This is turning into a pretty daunting list for someone to master by 18. I think if we were to condense it into say, three points that you should have that will prevent you from kicking your own ass as you get older, it would be:
Don’t get pregnant/get anyone pregnant until you’re damned sure you want a kid and you’ll be able to look after it properly.
Don’t get any chronic/fatal diseases (herpes, AIDS, hepatitis, etc.)
Don’t get too far in debt in spite of how eeeeeeasy it is.
