Men who talk too much or too fast–I always think they’re trying to hide something.
People who seem “off.” This is somewhat hard to describe but these people often have a vacant or lost look in their eyes and seem to be drifting along with no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going. Their clothing is usually odd–mismatched, slightly too large, or rumpled. They don’t seem to be on drugs but they don’t seem to be “all there” either. I actually don’t worry that these people are violent, just that they’ll hang around and pester me by telling me their life story, which will be boring.
People who mutter to themselves and seem agitated or indignant also set me off.
I work at a concessions stand in a movie theater. Anyone who comes to the theater an hour or more before their movie starts is probably going to also be a bad customer (i.e., wanting free popcorn because that batch was “stale”, bitching about the prices, wanting free cups/bags) or totally nuts (buying nachos and then eating them while standing at the concession stand while attempting to chat with the workers).
People who use my first name when they’ve never even met me (e.g. cold callers on the phone). And people who use my first name all the time, like in every sentence, when talking to me.
On more than one occasion in my life I’ve had the experience of being about to go somewhere or do something and I’ll suddenly change my mind and want nothing to do with the whole experience. You know, about to get in a car with someone or about to walk into a strange bar when that little voice goes “Nope, we’re out of here.”
I have no evidence that it works (nobody has gone off without me and gotten injured or anything) except that I’m still here and once that thing kicks in, people with shotguns couldn’t convince me otherwise.
What sets off my spider-sense? Just off the top of my head, my roommate’s dad, a couple of my college professors, and this guy Ned I work with. Something not quite right about them…
Evil doers, swinging I-beams, falling pianos, things like that.
Oh, and sales guys that smack me on the shoulder with the back of their hands while telling what they believe are amusing stories. Worst part is when they are salesmen from my company and I can’t just walk out on them…
People who start out a statement with something like “Now, I’m not a _____” or “not that I don’t like _____” - this means they are indeed racist/homophobic/whatever.
People who make sweeping generalizations. Everyone who does that is wrong!
Any time I hear a comment prefaced with a certain type of disclaimer, my spidey sense tells me to that whatever perceptions the disclaimer is intended to ward against are more than likely true.
– I’m not a racist/woman-hater/homophobe/anti-Semite, but…
– No offense, but…
– I don’t mean to brag, but
People that introduce themselves with their hand already outstretched for a handshake. It’s very used-car-televangelist-middle-manager.
The proper way is to introduce yourself, allow a few fractions of seconds to do the old “visual sizing up of each other while respecting personal space”, and then offer your hand for a shake.
Those precious few milliseconds are crucial, otherwise I slip into “Mormons on my doorstep” defensive mode.
Or on a similar note, “Well, I’m saying this as a neopagan bisexual public school teacher black Chinese Jewish handicapped old woman socialist, but don’t Mexicans just seem a little, well, lazy?”
Job ads that don’t actually tell you what the job is, you know the “Make up to $1000 a day for almost no effort!” kind of ad that you are sure involves trying to sell black market babies through cold calling people from the phonebook.
People that always agree with everything you say as if they had no mind of their own. In fact, they will change their opinion of anything if you say you disagree with them.
