What mispronunciations/grammatical errors drive you absolutely batty?

As opposed to ‘stray-ya mate’…

“There are less problems now that–”

NO! No, there are fewer problems! “Fewer” if it’s quantifiable, “less” if it isn’t.

I rarely crack out my “Excuse me, but that’s wrong” mojo, but misuse of less/fewer revs it up every time.

OK, I was confused because you had it in your list of errors.

slight hijack There are certain plural nouns that are sometimes mass nouns and sometimes count nouns, or else they have the plural form but are semantically mass-nouns, such as “carbohydrates.”

“Less carbohydrates” sounds illiterate, but “fewer carbohydrates” is equally nonsensical because it sounds like carbohydrates come in nice little clumps that you can count up, or else that you’re saying that there are fewer kinds of carbohydrate.

Or “painkillers.” If the doctor tells you that you should reduce your dosage of painkillers, is she telling you to take less painkillers (sounds wrong) or fewer painkillers (which sounds like you were taking several different kinds ands should reduce to one or two – after all, “many painkillers” means many kinds, not a high dosage)?

No you weren’t confused I did list it as an error. I was brought up to pronounce it as orction just as I was taught to say ortomatic.

But having considered it a bit more I reckon that pronouncing it as okshon is more of an accent difference than a mis-pronunciation.

My grandma gets all worked up about ‘ignorant Australians’ and ‘flamin Yanks’ because they don’t speak English the same way she does. I hate this arrogant, narrow-minded attitude of hers but it seems I may have a touch of it myself.

May I add to this with my pet peeve: Eye-rack.

Please people it’s Ehrahk.

Something I’ve noticed happening more frequently on American television is the “ly” and “en” being dropped from words. Is this now becoming acceptable in the US?

A few examples I’ve heard recently:

What’s it like to continually get beat?
That hurt me deep.
That went fantastic.
It happened real recent.
You had better take me serious.
I got bit.

This is coming from the mouths of educated people, what’s happening here?

In the office where i worked until recently, mangers misused myself constantly. They seemed to think it made them sound important (instead of ignorant). There was one manager who would even use it in place of the subjective ! AARRRGH !

I also can not stand that it seems like no one in broadcasting can remember the difference between and adverb and an adjective.

C’mon now, we don’t have the obligatory “Joey” mispronunciation…supposebly! My coworker uses this all the time…ugh!

Also in this genre is Eye-talian. Must be people that live in Eye-taly.

While I agree that “literally”, “conversated”, and the unnecessary apostrophe are like nails on a chalkboard, there’s always the classic “loose” used instead of “lose”. When people say they want to loose weight, I always picture them with the same fat, just jigglier.

Another one I hate is “would of”/“could of”. It makes me wonder if the people who say and type these phrases ever read.

I check out several pregnancy message boards and it’s appalling how many of these current and future mothers have horrible grammar and can’t spell. These women will be teach their children how to “conversate” with someone about having “less” calories in their diet and how they eat “literally” starved to death.

Whatever you do, don’t move to Ireland. That is not normal everyday usage here and addition people refer to, say, their husband as “himself”.

“Hey Mary, where’s your husband today?”
“Oh, himself is watching the match.”

Or there is.

“Is it yourself?” for “Is that you?”

My pet hate is incorrect use of literally, as already mentioned by BobLibDem.

It is everyday usage here.

Sorry.

:smack:

Ack! My head just exploded.

My biggest complaint these days is “here’s” when “here are” is what’s called for. At least I think, this is one of those things that I hear so often that I’m starting to think I’m the one who is wrong. I think it’s a problem with contractions. No one would say “Here is my complaints,” right? But I hear “Here’s my complaints” all the time.

I’m not sure this is exactly an error, but items in a list that don’t follow the same format are like nails on a chalkboard to me. An example:

Highlights of the Year
– Launched interactive web site
– Three new publications
– Creation of employee training course

Give everything a verb in the same tense at least! This should read launched interactive web site, introduced three new publications, created employee training course.

Off-Ten instead of OFF-en makes me positively nuts.

Do you say Glis-ten? Mois-ten? I know this mispronunciation has made it into the dictionary but it’s so fuckin’ stupid I could scream.

Another vote for the extra apostrophes for plurals - particularly in formal documents as opposed to a memo or similar. For instance, I was in a stately home at the weekend, taking a look around, and there was a document describing the room on one of the tables. According to this document, the ceiling showed one of 6 depiction’s of the Goddess Diana. For pity’s sake guys, proof read these things!

Something that winds me up is that Scottish people, like my girlfriend, say “the bed needs made” instead of “the bed needs making” or “the bed needs to be made”. Or “those clothes need ironed”. Arrrrrggghhhhh.

One of the few things that really makes me cringe is the mispronunciation of applicable. It’s ap’-lik-a-bul, NOT uh-plik’-a-bul!

And then added incorrectly to other words: “I felt badly about the accident.”

No, no, no! You don’t say, “I felt happily, or sadly, or goodly!”
My church pastor is constantly saying the word “potentual” for “potential.” I love the guy, he’s a great pastor, but this gets on my nerves SO much!

In the “re-la-tor” and “nu-ku-lar” category, we have another of my pet peeves–“jew-la-ry.”

I don’t know how prevalent this is throughout the South, but here in this part of Alabama, everyone says “fertilize” when they mean “fertilizER.” This drives me and my sister nearly nuts. I never say anything to DH about it, but my sister rags on her hubby all the time (in fun): “Well, let me finish using the compute and I’ll go start some coffee in the coffee make, then I’ll take the clothes out of the wash and put them in the dry.”

Sister’s hubby is a treasure trove of mispronunciations: “Ibuprofien” (ibuprofen), “pacific” (specific), and “chimley” (chimney). If he wasn’t such a nice guy, my ears would slam shut in self-defense!

That drives me nuts too!

Other missing "ed"s I would like to find belong to whip cream, cream corn, and corn beef. Although, maybe they could borrow one from my friend who makes his hamburgers out of grounded beef.

Supposably

Or when during conversations, sentences are not properly ended but sort of trail of with a “soooo” or a “yeaaaahhh”.

I’ll second the use of the word of when they obviously meant the contraction of have.

Ah, yes, Lundbergish.

“yeaaaahhhhhh, I’m gonna have to go ahead and ask you to come in tomorrow…”

Kalhoun, I think of-ten is an acceptable alternative pronunciation of of-fen. Hate to break it to you…

My wife thinks that people who abuse children are pediophiles. After all these years, I find it one of her endearing quirks.