The show Numb3rs is Numb-three-ers. Blade II was “Bladell”, in Sam Jackson voice. I know it’s stupid, but I just couldn’t help saying “syl-A-ble” (as in accent on the wrong) instead of syl-ABLE until that (ancient) gag was in a sutpid movie trailer and I had to stop. An old friend whose English wasn’t the best one day said “tenACKLE” when he met tentacle, and that stuck; another (Spanish) drummer friend said “hee-hat” instead of hi-hat, and they will forever be hee-hats now. My little brother used to say “nanaba” instead of “banana”, so now I sound like a three-year old when I want something to put on my cornflakes.
More malapropism than mispronunciation, but when there are threatening, black thunderclouds in the sky, the sky looks omnibus.
But, to stick to the thread…the activities one performs in chemistry labs are spearmints. When I try a new recipe, it’s a spearmint.
And then there is fud (otherwise known as food), a reference to a Gary Larson cartoon where the dog is trying to lure the cat into the dryer with a sign about “Cat fud.”
My son has adopted my “Are you red-eye?” for “Are you ready?” (When a mere tot, he also came up with “poop-taste” for “toothpaste.” We still use that one, much to his annoyance.)
Not really a mispronunciation but when our four year old came up with this we adopted it for exclusive use.
Something took place yesterday but more towards the night time.
Me: Do you mean what happened yesterday?
him: No. It was yesternight daddy.
Makes more sense to me than yesterday in one use and last night in the other. Yesternight.
In addition to these two, I also tend to pickup on malaprops and kiddie pronunciations. Which is why the opposite of vertical is horizontical, and when I measure something, I am trying to find out its lengthedness. I put tomaynoes and cubungers on salads, and when I get all dressed up to go out somewhere I put on a pair of pantytoes.
Nekkid. It’s quite distinct in meaning from naked. Naked means you have no clothes on. Nekkid means you have no clothes on and you’re up to something.
Kuh-nife (knife) and Kuh-niggit (knight), and skizors (scissors) just to amuse myself. It’s been about 20 years, and I still amuse myself. My family might just want to throttle me, however.
We overpronounce “actually”, so it sounds like ACK-chew-a-lee, because it was my friend’s 3 year old’s favorite word. Every sentance started with it: “ACK-chew-a-lee, I’d like some toast.” “ACK-chew-a-lee, that’s Big Bird.” “ACK-chew-a-lee, I don’t want to go to bed!”
I’ve also adopted “strategery” and “misunderestimate” from Our Esteemed Leader.
Subaru = Boobersu (thanks to a college bf) and I’ve infected my roomate, her fiancee, and my fiancee with the same pronunciation (they have an Outback)
Moron = maroon
Any word with silent letters - I inherited these from my mom:
Knight = k’nidg-et
scissors = skis-sors
muscle = mus-kle
Astrominy - but only when taught to liberal arts student who get a C for naming the planets in order on the final - you don’t need to be able to pronounce it to pass. The real science is still Astronomy.
When we were kids in full-on begging mode, we’d contract “Can I have?” to “C’ave” (rhymes with have). So when you’re trying to be annoying and childish it’s “C’ave a cookie?” said in the whiniest tone possible.
Also “ossifer” instead of “officer” especially when mimicking a drunk and/or stupid person who’s been caught by the cops.
[Hijack]Cutest thing I’ve ever seen: a five-year old was ‘helping’ her grandfather make his specialty breakfast waffles - me, I was just there for company. Grandfather tells granddaughter that it’s now time to separate the eggs - meaning, of course, to separate the yolks from the egg whites. Granddaughter does not know this, so does what she thinks is required: she takes four eggs and places them oh-so-carefully at each corner of the kitchen table. Too Cute For Words.[/Hijack]
You can sometimes get some weak smiles around here by mispronouncing some of the local Spanish place names, like “La Jawla” for “La Jolla”, “San Josie” for “San Jose”, et cetera.
