There’s a street near here called Shintaffer Rd. I can’t help but call it ‘Shit-snapper’. Cornwall is ‘Cornhole’. There are many others, but those will start.
Everyone else seems to be unable to pronounce “Skid Road”.
I say “asplore” for “explore”. I don’t really have any issues with saying “ex”, it’s just that one. I think there may be a couple of other words I do it for, but not many.
It’s something I just started doing to be cute and now it happens naturally, though I can keep a lid on it if I really need to be professional.
Your car may have a defroster, but mine has a defrogetter.
Saying ‘juh-lop-penn-oh’ for jalapeno. Sort of a private joke with my cousins from when we were kids.
A town in Michigan’s Upper peninsula is St. Ignace. Pronounced “Saint IG nass”. We call it “Saint Ig NOTCH ee”.
My step daughter mispronounced the herb echinacea as “ah chin ah SAY ah” instead of “ek in AY shuh” and it stuck.
Using ex-act-ta-mundo for exactly never bores me (but it probably does everyone else), and I sometimes substitute ‘definitely’ for def-in-ate-ly. The second is very poor pronunciation and I imagine would provoke a cringe and eye role in some people.
In my car, it’s known as a “defrogger.”
There’s a street near me called Irhig. I call it Earwig.
Barking Dog, I pronounce fajitas as fuh-JEYE-tis. Sounds like something you need to see a doctor for.
The thing you do in a chemistry lab? That’s a spearmint.
And when there are thunderclouds looming, the sky looks omnibus.
I’ve said this before, but hyperbole will always be hyperbowl to me.
When ordering a Guiness, I pronounce it Genius; some bartenders correct me.
There was some clip from the 70s I saw as a kid where another kid mispronounced the word smorgasbord as “borgassmord”. I’ve used that pronunciation ever since.
Same with whores-dee-o-vores.
Thunder is funder. That’s what my dad called it when I was a kid so it wouldn’t seem so scary.
Worcestershire is woostesestashire - I’m sure you all know where that comes from
Theater is thee uh tra
Favre, as in Brett, is Fahvrrrrrrrrrrrr
For some reason, the plural of birds is birdeses. I’ve even got my bf saying that one.
Turquoise is* turkwhozz*
We have a grocery store chain called Publix. You can guess what it sounds like in my head. I also like to mispronounce certain words if they fit a certain pattern. A word like cracker will become “C-racker” (SEE-racker), a clock is a C-lock, etc… I keep this firmly in my head as well.
Ah yes, "Pubics, where shopping is a pleasure. "
“Vegetable” has a hiccup in it, so the “et” comes out–vej-uh-ble.
For no reason, the fruit with the spines is a piney-apple.
When someone is choking I ask them if they want me to perform the “hymen remover” on them.
M. Night Sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong.
I’m not even sure what his real name is.
A Russian friend came to visit in L.A. When we went to get something to eat, she looked at the menu and told the waitress she wanted the ‘fadgit-uhs.’
I recall reading that Mason Reese objected to being made to mispronounce ‘smorgasbord’, as he did know how to pronounce it.
Dad would call those little appies ‘whore’s ovaries’.
I still use the term “hiney-lick manuever” from that old joke.