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When it’s late at night and I’m having a soft drink and want to make sure I’ll still be able to get to sleep, I order a decapitated cola.
I like to say catastroff for catastrophe.
To me Rich Terfry is Rich Stir Fry.
And getting back the to OP, there’s a mall in town called the Cornwall Centre but to me it’s the Cornball Centre.
Years ago I was driving by a new Harris Teeter grocery store they’d just opened, but didn’t quite get the name as I glanced at it. So later I made a comment to hubby about the new Harriet Tweeter store and he died laughing. I still have trouble with the name and had to do a quick Google to correct it in the first sentence.
I try to speak properly with people, but am guilty of the most appalling baby talk with my hounds. With them I’ll say things like absotively (absolutely and positively combined), budder (brother), beautimus (beautiful), teef (teeth), etc.
For a while when Futurama was popular on tv, hubby and I often said “axe a question” but that’s gone by the wayside now.
I also use fuh-JEYE-tis and whores-dee-o-vores.
I pronounce the “ch” in yacht.
I do that too. Also, Me’Shell Naggadoccio.
Except we pronounce it “Pube Licks”
Can’t remember the last time I said “sandwich.” It’s always either “sammatch” or “san-gwitch.”
Always pronounce Socrates like Bill and Ted
I “mispronounce” Linux.
I started using it waaay back when. There was a pronunciation FAQ. It basically said: Take the way you pronounce Linus and change the “s” to an “ks”. (Note that in some parts of Europe “Linus” is pronounced “Leenus”. So it’s not the same for everyone.)
So that’s what I do.
Somewhere a weird mispronunciation crept in and now those clueless newbies think the mispronunciation is “official”.
“Waxing elephants” for waxing eloquent. Since I do it with a straight face, I’m sure there are a lot of people who think I’m an idiot.
I always pronounce “Cicerone” “beer sommelier”.
I have several that were malapropisms from my two boys when they were little.
French fries - pie pies
Garlic Bread - garbage bread
Spaghetti O’s - giddy hos
Genghis Khan and the Mongol Horde - Genghis Khan and the Mongrel Horde
I’m pretty good about remembering NOT to use these in non-family groups, but I did ask someone to pass the garbage bread at a work dinner the other day. I didn’t realize I’d said it until I saw the puzzled expressions looking back at me.
There’s a street named Ximeno in Long Beach. If you refer to it with the proper pronunciation “He-MEN-o” you’ll get funny stares (not just from me, from most longtime Beachers). If, however, you pronounce like I learned it, “Ex-IM-en-o”, peopl will respond, “Oh, yeah, it’s a couple blocks west of PCH.” 
Owing to a reading of Peanuts while very young, I tend to pronounce “gauche” as “GOW-chy.”
Then there’s Sepple-veeda, Ca-hoon-ga, and Puh-SAD-inna.
The SO was born in Port Hueneme.
And a local will tell you where they live really is pronounced ‘San PEE-dro’. 
In somewhat of a reverse of that, my wife and I were at a local mall a few years ago and saw a glasses store called Spectacles. I remarked, “Hey look! Spec-ta-cleez, the Greek god of corrective eyewear!” That apparently tickled my wife’s funny bone because she laughed for about ten minutes. So that pronunciation has stuck.
There’s a street near our house called Mayor Magrath Drive which I refer to as Mayor McCheese.
My oldest nephew had trouble saying “ice cream” when he was just a youngster, instead saying “arse cream.” I mostly use that now.
February
As a Seabee, I was often stationed at Port Hueneme (pronounced Why-NEE-mee). We always referred to it as “Port Who Needs Me”.
The Stanley Park Sleazewall