I think you’re missing the point.
There are well-reasoned arguments on both sides of this issue. For those who are against SSM (and ftr, I have never taken that position) there are reasons----for many to be sure----that aren’t borne of an “unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality.” (the definition that dictionary.com uses for “homophobia”)
For those for SSM, the separation of Church/State is a compelling argument as well. (assuming that religious grounds make up the bulk of the anti-SSM argument)
But I think only a fool allows himself to be drawn into the “when did you stop beating your wife” as the starting point of the discussion.
So I’m not making an argument for either side, but pointing out that demonizing, or caricaturing your opponent as means of discussing this issue is either ignorant* or disingenuous.
(* From time to time we see a real live “homophobe”’ a small minded, abusive, ignorant, bigot. More often then not, however, we simply use the term to diminish someone we disagree with.)