I’m not fond of burials, so I always tell my family just to have my remains dropped overboard far out to sea and let the creatures of the deep figure out what to do with them.
But maybe that cartoon idea is just as good.
Another thought is being secretly buried in a building cornerstone time capsule. Imagine the surprise 100 years later.
My uncle said he wanted to be hung in a smoke house until he looked like a mummy and then put on display in the local Ripley’s museum. Didn’t happen though. My aunt was too traditional.
I have talked to my publisher and he has agreeded to this, so it is how I am going to be “buried”.
I will be cremated and the ashes will be put into the ink of the paper over a week’s run.
I love newspapering and have worked as in the newsroom since I was 12 years old. For me, it just makes sense.
I checked with the state and it seems to be OK with them (“Ya know, nobody ever asked about that before”). Actually, my publisher said he would do it whether it was OK with the state or not.
I came up with this idea back when I worked at a truck stop and had to deal with truck drivers day in and day out.
Cremate me, I told my son. I’ll leave you money enough to go on a road trip. Stop at every truck stop you find, go inside, sit at the table, and when the waitress isn’t looking slip a spoonful of me into the sugar shaker.
There were just so many times I wanted to say “Eat me, @$$hole!” to a buttheaded truck driver, but couldn’t…
I want to be made into a diamond–well, actually several small diamonds. Then I want to be set in jewelry, and have my husband sell all but one ring. That way, he’d have something to remember me by, and some cash.
For added hilarity, he could set my stone in a wedding set and use it for his second wife.
The plan is to be cremated and added to a firework - the kind that explodes huge and then leaves trails of sparkles. I often felt so happy I could burst - I’ll finally be able to
I love this idea. Absolutely love it. Seriously, best idea ever.
My dad says he wants us to dump his naked body, wrapped in a black plastic sack, with no identification, on the steps of the VA hospital - the idea is that the VA would have to pay for the funeral. I have no idea what’s wrong with him. My mom wants him to be buried at Stage Right (my father is and most of my family are stagehands).
The Tashaboy wants a funeral pyre and I have a sneaking suspicion that’s not legal anymore. Does anyone know if that whole “burning a wicker boat off to sea” thing is legal? Cuz I believe that was his second choice.
I…have no idea. I think I’d just like a regular old cremation - it’s cheap. Although I do like the idea of having relatives sneak bits of me into salt, pepper and sugar shakers - preferrably at places I’ve worked at.
Y’know, I’ve always loved Halloween…so I’d like my body to be transformed into an unstoppable, undead killing machine that preys upon the living with inhuman savagery.
Failing that—or being entombed beneath Apple’s Cupertino HQ with my books and computers—being dressed in a vintage flight suit (Cosmonaut, Luftwaffe pressure suit, Barnstormer outfit…whatever) and dumped at some out of the way place in the solar system would be fun, if only I could see it. (Imagine the first people to scale Olympus Mons finding “Major Tom” slumped up against a rock!)
I came into the thread to say almost exactly this. Oddly enough, though, I don’t particularly like diamonds. But there are other options. Something with a little color. Maybe an aquamarine.
My siblings and I actually considered a lifegem for (from?) our mom when she passed away, but the cost was prohibitive for us and mom’s siblings wanted a traditional funeral so that’s what we did. But the idea gives a wonderful new meaning to “Grandma’s necklace.”
My brother-in-law keeps threatening my sister that he has to be bronzed after his death and placed prominently in the living room, supposedly to keep her from ever remarrying I guess. He’s a little twisted, so I could him putting that in his will. I dont know how enforceable it would be though.
I always liked the Viking funeral personally, but I then heard about a sort of ‘Memorial Tree’ which I like even more. I want to be cremated and the ashes buried under a sapling with a small ‘dedicated to the memory of’ plaque. (I almost wrote plague - not a good way to have people remember you, I think.) Haven’t figured out where I want the tree to be planted. Or what kind of tree either, most likely an evergreen, but not sure exactly which type. Hopefully I got a while to get the details down.
And TV time, its a little morbid and I dont know what the readership would think, but I agree that is an awesome idea. Saving issues to give to family members and others would a great memento also.
I want the morgue dudes to put me in a cool looking suit and put a big like smile on my face. Then I want them too arrange my hand like a gun so when people lean over and look I’ll be saying “Gotcha Ya”.
Hmm…now that I think about it, as I remember, there are laws and regulations against owning human tissues—but human bones are pretty much open season.
So, if I don’t mind a date with a vat, or some flesh-eating beetles…
::About 100 years in the future, in the Ranchoth family house::
Ran jr: “Honey, where are the Xmas lights?”
“Try the hall closet—same as last year!”
“Right, right…” ::Sound of door opening, hideous tumbling-clattering noise:: “AAARGH!” ::Pause:: “God damn it, dad! ::shouting:: KIDS! Who didn’t put new duct tape on Grampa Nick’s box, like I specifically asked them to? ::pause, then a quiet voice::What the hell are YOU grinning at?”
I’ve often wondered what would happen to a body encased in a large, solid block of water-clear resin plastic. Unfortunately, having this done to me wouldn’t enable me to satisfy that curiosity, but it still might be worth doing.
I’m going for a woodland burial - my estates contribution for a plot goes towards preserving/regenerating a piece of woodland forever (well, for long enough, anyhow), and my body can fertilise the bluebells.
I think the anaerobic bacteria would dissolve you from the inside out, unless you can get irradiated or microwaved to kill them first. I saw on Discovery where a taxidermist does freeze drying of animals. Not sure how big his machine is though.
