Your mum?
Does it work as intended?
I ain’t got nothing thats the best - except maybe my MOM, she’s always the best 
My doggies are the best. I have four little puppies, all of whom weigh at least half what I do, and two of whom aren’t actually puppies but think they are. They just want pets. And food. All the food. Ever. Oh, and ice cubes, we will follow you around for those. We’re so hungry. Nobody ever feeds us. Or pets us. Please.
What was I saying?
First off, those aren’t puppies unless a five-year-old dog can masquerade as a puppy. And he can’t. Neither can the three-year-old. And the third-youngest hasn’t looked – acted, but not looked – like a puppy in at least nine months.
But if your task is to knock over something big and thick with just four dogs, I know of no better combination. Thurber could do it accidentally.
A friend invented the term “one-trip wonder” to describe my ability to bring all the groceries inside in … one trip. In the last five+ years, only boxes (no handles) and cases of soda (no room on my hands, plastic handles too small for my arms) have thwarted my one-trip skillz.
This also makes moving furniture and other large objects pretty easy, but all I could qualify for there is best furniture mover without a workout regimen.
Pshaw, my kid. Totally.
13, plays the intro and solo to Metallica’s One, Carry on my Wayward Son and Sonic the Hedgehog’s theme on electric guitar, beat Through the Fire and Flames on expert and has A’s and one B in all honors class in high school.
AND he knows all of the words to Never Gonna Give You Up and sings them in the car with me so long as no one else is within earshot.
That’s right, bitches.
My knowledge of the local epidemiology of Staph infections.
What?
My wang.
Since everybody knows I was coming in here to say ‘‘my husband’’…
My sister-in-law. She is 17, loves animals, and is a solid wall of muscle (size 0 pants.) She is capable of picking up my husband and carrying him around without tiring. She is smart, she is independent, she is loving, and she will kick your ass.
I know that there are millions of people who think they have the World’s Best Cat. But they don’t. I do: Susie.
My taste in Minimal Techno. 
My humility.
**Pepper sauce. **
People got nuts for my pepper sauce on steak, over chips, by the glass… I’m not kidding, I had one request to turn it into a drink.
It’s such a deliciously simple recipe, though to be honest I have no idea on exact quantities.
My Christmas Mint Chocolate Chip cookies. Not that the recipe is much changed from the Toll House ™ recipe. And no, I don’t use mint chips.
I tried giving up on the Christmas cookies because no one seemed particularly interested, and you would have thought from the noise that I was stabbing people. The upshot was that the rest of the cookies could go, but if the CMCCs went, everyone’s childhoods would be retroactively ruined.
People have tried to be adopted into the family to get the CMCCs. I have to say, they’re not bad.
My wife, natch; I’m sorry to crush y’all’s dreams, but you’re just wrong.
Also my blackberry pie. It’s gotten marriage proposals.
Daniel
My 103 year old grandmother. I love her more than I do myself. She’s in a nursing home, but can still get around some, and her bottom teeth are her own! She’s still sharp mentally, following the news, and this November will vote in her 21st presidential election. How cool is that?
my wife.
I am sure the other posters who have the same idea are correct-but I know for me I have the very best! [not biased or anything, just convinced ]
A challenger appears!
But really, mine may be close.
My Beef Stroganoff. I can’t explain it but everybody likes it including my Father. He even complimented me on it twice, I’m sure it was a mistake on his part. Some how I just have stumbled across the correct combination of ingredients and method of cooking it.
I have more original artwork in my house than anyone else I know. Both of my parents were artists, and so am I. I’ve got stacks and stacks of things that I don’t have enough walls for.
And the best cats.
My dead bat in a jar of formaldehyde.
So few people even have one, it’s easy to have the best.