I waited for the walk light, then was walking across a busy road in the crosswalk. The old guy in the half-ton waiting to make a left turn practically nudged me out of his way. I’m walking here, asshole!
Broke my favorite coffee mug at the office. It was a gift from a program manager at Microsoft, thanking my team for help on a product that never released. It has the Windows Mobile version 7 logo. Sigh.
Got home, and ripped my favorite bathing suit climbing into the hot tub.
Ok…neither are outrageous. But that’s all I’ve got for now.
Same ol’, same ol’. Military coup, curfew declared, got home barely in time.
I think you win.
My Maserati got towed from the Akon offices parking lot - again!
I don’t know about tigers. But I have seen lions fucking, and it is indeed over pretty quickly.
I know I’ve said it before, but you are a seriously funny bloke Vinyl. 
What floor?