I actually have several signs. Here’s one of them: No Soliciting Engraved Sign EGRE-13362-BLKonWHT No Solicitation . Some people apparently don’t know or don’t care what soliciting means, but the pictograph SHOULD give them a clue.
Clearly because it has not worked for one fucking person, you, then clearly it has not worked in the entire history of the fucking universe and that clearly Starving Artists grandma is a lying piece of shit. Clearly. You’re a real piece of work.
I have a difficult job - I go door-to-door selling “No Soliciting” signs.
I wonder… if one were to answer the door wearing a holstered gun, and politely inquire “yes?” while absently mindedly scratching oneself where the holster was making one itch, would this be considered brandishing?
And would you need a carry permit to wear such a holstered weapon in your own home? (I assume that the laws are different for concealed carry vs. open carry?).
Oh - and at one point in our last house, we got pestered almost exclusively by people selling firewood, of all things.
For some reason, firewood only tended to be available before 8 on Saturday mornings. It was probably just as well that we have never owned a weapon, we might have been tempted to try out my previous suggestion.
It was so bad that some advertising place actually sent out magnets (the doors were metal) saying “think you, we do not need any firewood”.
Thank you SO much. Since you know that I’ve talked to the people in my neighborhood about this problem, you know that it doesn’t work for THEM, either.
SA’s granny might have had good results with her sign. Maybe she has less aggressive solicitors, or maybe she doesn’t sleep as lightly as I do. Dunno. But I know that my experience is not unique. It was pretty common in my old neighborhood to compare the latest solicitors, and gripe about them. And most of my neighbors did have a no soliciting sign on the door.
One of the things that I like about this new neighborhood is that we’ve only had one or two solicitors since we’ve moved in. It’s a different town, and it requires door-to-door solicitors to get a permit before they go out soliciting.
I can’t say I ever had a sales manager telling his crew to ignore no soliciting signs, but I had one once who demonstrated how to sell stuff door to door. First, you ignore the “no” responses and forge ahead. It seems the first thing out of their mouths is always “I don’t need anything today.” But when he left their house, he had an order over half the time, often by suggesting something they really did need but hadn’t thought of. Somehow, the [del]marks[/del] customers never saw a discrepancy between saying “no” and “yes,” as long as they were skilfully handled.
I don’t have this problem living in a condo, but I wonder if anyone has ever had luck with a “trespassers will be shot on sight” or “attack dog on premises” sign or something like that.
I lock my screen door. If I dont it is loose in the frame and flies get in around the edge.
<giggle>
For some reason, my husband always objected to being locked out of his own house. Can’t imagine why. 
We were discussing putting in a lock with a key to open it on the screen door before we finally decided to move, so that he would be able to get in.
I’m still puzzled as to why those solicitors thought it would be appropriate to open the screen door, though.
I printed this one out and it’s worked pretty well for me:
In a large city where I lived once, I had a sign that said, “No solicitors and Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t welcome.” It didn’t stop either from knocking, but neither ever sold anything at my house. It would have saved both of us a lot of time if they had heeded my request.
You could try this one for the religious nuts:
Yes, but did he buy them pancakes in the morning? 
I used to own a restaurant, and despite the sign, they thought they could come in and start selling crap to my customers. I was not unreasonable the first time anyone of them came in, I would point to the sign, and indicate that I paid taxes for the privilege of selling things to my customers, and ask them not to return. I would even point out the bar down the street where they didn’t mind, and even encouraged these con men (they were all selling crap not even worth the seemingly low prices). If they returned, I would be as offensive as the situation permitted, following them outside to tell lay it on so customers wouldn’t hear. The guy I recognized as the local ‘ringleader’ and I would have come to blows if he didn’t keep running away (everybody’s afraid of cooks, we carry knives, and know how to use them).
Thankfully, the town I live in requires anyone selling door to door to get a permit with the city first. If you are being bothered this often, why not try to get similar legislation put in place. That way you can ask to see a permit and then call the cops on them when they don’t have it.
Yeah. So really, they don’t understand the “no” part nor do they understand the “soliciting” part. OP answered.
We put one up to discourage all the damned petitioners and charity types, and it seems to have worked. Most everybody respects our desire not to be bothered. One guy did come to the door anyway. I pointed to the sign and asked if had seen it. He responded with some horseshit about “if you were convinced about the importance of your cause, would you let a sign like that deter you?” I said “yes, and we’re done here.”
Sign-based approaches in general are really weaksauce. You know what does work though? Booby traps.
In a discussion about early birds to yard sales one poster said she put up a sign that said “Early Birds get the Hose”
I recommend something similar. “Sales people, religious or otherwise not welcome. Offenders get the hose”
or “will be soaked” and be prepared to back it up.
I chuckle just thinking of pointing to the sign and walking to the hose without a word. Might as well have some fun.