Because I’ve already gone through this song and dance multiple times in he past, I’m cutting and pasting this from a post I made in a past thread about this subject. It’s a decent summary.
Literally, arsenos means “male” and koites means “bed.” Put together thet word literally means “male-bedder.” While the compound arsenokoites is not found in any Greek literature before Paul (and he may have coined the word himself), the suffix koites is fairly common and is attached derisively to prefixes meaning things like “whore,” “mother,” “horse” and the like. The general tone and use of the koites in compounds was fairly analogous to “f*cker.” When used in those compounds it always referred to the penetrative partner in a sexual act, never the passive.
Outside of Paul, arsenokoites is found mainly on vice lists which give little context. There are 42 known lists which follow one of two formulations: The most common is Pornoi, moixoi, malakoi, arsenokoitai, kleptai, pleonektai, methusoi, loidoroi. “Prostitutes, adulterers, the (morally) soft, arsenokoitai, thieves, greedy ones, drunkards, (verbal) abusers/profaners.” Less commonly arsenokoitai is followed by andrapodistais kai epiorkrois, “slave traders and perjurers.”
These lists aren’t especially helpful but there are a few instances in greek literature where a more specific context is given. Unfortunately, those contexts are not exactly consistent.
Twice in Greek literature, arsenokoites is used to indicate homosexual rape. Once in Aristede’s Apology where it refers to the rape of Ganymede by Zeus and once in Hippolytus’ Refutatio, where it refers to the rape of Adam by an evil angel named Naas.
There are also two instances where it refers to heterosexual sex…once where it’s used to refer to male prostitutes who service women, and once for men who are accused of practicing the act with their wives.
Speculation varies, the late Yale historian John Boswell thought that it may have indicated exploitive acts…either rape, or sexually mercenary acts. Many believe it referred to male prostitutes, or to the practice of pederasty (which involved teenage male prostitutes). Some of course, will argue that it means “homosexual.” For a number of reasons, it is unlikely that it meant “homosexual” in a modern sense but it is not a question that can be definitively settled from the available evidence other than to say that no proposed definition is certain.