When I was applying for colleges, a lot of them had complex questionaires that you had to fill out so they could match you with a roommate for your dorm room. But the one I was most impressed with managed to reduce the problem to three essential questions:
Are you a morning or night person?
Are you messy or neat?
What kind of music do you like?
And that was it. That school had one of the highest roommate compatibility rates, according to somebody with enough time to study such trivia.
Anyway, since this isn’t a dorm, you should also ask about smoking habits (very important) and cooking habits.
Some roommates have unspoken expectations or hotbuttons that they get very upset about before they finally let you know (e.g., “If you touch my soap ONE MORE TIME I swear I’ll stuff it down your throat!”)
Well, in my case, it wasn’t that I minded the occassional overnight guest for special occassions, or whatever reason, it was the fact that I essentially aquired an additional roomate about 70% of the time. A roomate who paid no rent, or utility bills, but yet used our shower (and occassionally our washer and dryer), ate our food, adjusted our thermostat, complained about what was on our living room TV, and added to the 1 bathroom, X# of people to get ready and out the door by 8am problem.
When said roomate’s SO begain to complain about me… my alram was too loud in the morning, I ate in the living room, I wouldn’t let him watch porn in the living room (at least when I was home), I was too cheap to buy name brand snacks… etc.
I hit the roof, gave notice to the landlord, and moved out.
Ex-roomate was kicked out 3 months later for failure to pay the rent. (I guess Roomate’s SO never did pick up the slack)
In Summary: Good roomate, who’s SO visits occassionally, and honors the rules of the house while residing in it, no problem…
Bad roomate who takes over, and brings the SO along for the free ride… bad thing.
You don’t have to be friends with the roomate of course. But when deciding at least pick someone who you would sometimes like to hang out with. I’ve found that roomies who become hang out buddies are more likely to treat the house the same. When you care about the other person you are living with, i.e. care if you are bothering them, making too much noise, or are just respectful of them, things tend to be a lot easier.
In my case, one of my roommates was very insecure and clingy, and thought ‘roommate’ meant ‘best friend’ and she didn’t have a lot of luck in the dating field. So I think that it upset her every time she came home, expecting to hang out with me, and I was with my boyfriend.
Another roommate claimed she didn’t feel comfortable walking around in her underwear if there was a chance my boyfriend might see her. Never mind the fact that she and I NEVER walked around in our underwear outside of our own bedrooms anyway, whether we had guests or not.
But every other roommate I have had has been totally cool about my having overnight guests. Not coincidentally, these women were those who either had boyfriends of their own, or had no trouble getting dates.