I used to believe in doing all the treatments I could afford for my cats, because I love them and don’t want to be without them. Through the years, I’ve come to believe that for me, that was a selfish choice. I wasn’t thinking “What’s best for this cat whom I love?” I was thinking “What’s best for me? What will make me feel good?”
Don’t get me wrong, I like feeling good! But I think some of my decisions for significant interventions were done at the expense of my cats’ wellbeing. I loved them so much I couldn’t let them go.
Some cats seem fine with some pretty aggressive treatment. Some cats just wilt or turn skittish or mopey. Cats are incredibly stoic, so they will often put up with pain and discomfort and unhappiness that breaks our hearts when we learn what they are enduring. And they have no way of understanding any of it. Maybe I went from beloved person to horrible person who tortures in the minds of some of my cats. That’s far more heartbreaking than death, to me.
I’m rambling. Best wishes to the OP’s sister and to anyone dealing with an ill pet.
I agree it’s probably time for the cat to go to sleep, but if it helps your sister make the decision for herself, you could show her this Quality of Life scale and see what the moggy scores.
My mom’s cat has cancer and is undergoing chemo. While she definitely has good days, all in all, the family is cringing through it and wishing they would just let the cat go. They’re barely keeping her going on kitty treats because she won’t eat normal food. She’s pretty much blind; the tumor started in her sinus, and moved into her eyes, distorted her face, and grew down into her mouth through a hole from an extracted tooth, to the point of being pretty horrific, though it’s receded quite a bit. They’re not expecting a cure – she has to get chemo every few weeks until she dies, which they expect to be in the next few months.
It’s their decision but honestly, after seeing it first hand, if I were in the same position, I think I would let the cat go. She can’t understand the ups and downs, and it breaks my heart that she spends half her time hiding, in pain, bumping into things, being disoriented, and so on. She can’t understand that the vet is trying to make her feel better and she hates going (as she always has). To be fair, there have been good days too, when she seems happy – but it’s a constant roller coaster that causes the cat considerable anxiety and pain.
My mom’s heart is in the right place – she has the money and doesn’t question doing anything to take care of her pet. I just think a pet, especially a cat, is better off not suffering through an experience that they can’t understand and have no real chance of surviving.
I don’t see how it’s threadshitting or trolling or anything. It was on-point, and honestly people sometimes need a smack in the face to realize they are only keeping the cat alive for their own convenience. Everyone’s up in arms but what he actually said wasn’t anything more than anyone’s said - he just said it blunter.
I think what fluiddruid’s mom is doing to her cat is incredibly cruel. This isn’t personal against fluiddruid, and I’m sorry to drag you into this, but someone should lay a verbal smackdown on mom and let her know how much the kitty is suffering.
And yes, you can always get another one, and I would highly recommend that when you feel up to it, you should. There’s a gazillion stray cats in my neighborhood that need homes. It’s not equivalant to a kid, you can share your life with animal after animal and that’s a good thing.
What the OP and a couple other posters said is nothing like what Vic said. There is a difference between the sentiment “let it go, it’s suffering” and “it’s just a cat, get a new one”. Whenever there is any kind of pet thread there always seems to be someone who has to make remarks like that and I understand vogue’s frustration. I don’t agree with responding to them though, even though I kind of just did.
Anyway, to the OP. Definitely wait for the biopsy, but if it is cancer she should consider the pet’s quality of life at this point. If the cat is just ill with something like pancreatitis then it is treatable but may be a long haul until the cat recovers and there is the possibility of severe complications. If that is the case then they should sit down with their vet and come up with a plan in regards to treatment, i.e. if no improvement by such and such time or at the first complication they will euthanize.
I am a huge animal lover, but I also know some vets don’t always know when to say quit…either because they are more concerned about the financial gain, or because they don’t recognize the hurt they are causing.
If the cat is curable, then that is one thing, but I always believed that one of the last responsibilities we have as owners is to give our pets a safe, pain-free exit when it becomes clear that they have no quality of life.
If she loves her cat and the animal is dying and in pain then prolonging things is for her benefit, not the pet’s.
Bravo. To those of us with dogs and cats we love some of the harshest words in the world are ‘it’s just a cat/dog, you can get another’.
Yes, in my life there will ALWAYD be another, simply because I cannot imagine life without them, but the new one does NOT replace the previous. That can never happen and to suggest that it can is cold and heartless.
I do agree, however, that if the cat is suffering, which it certainly sounds like, euthanasia is the compassionate thing to do.
I take it that you’ve never had a pet you loved, Vicullum. Your loss. With this response, I hope you’ve never had a pet at all. I would feel very sorry for it.
Wait for the biopsy results. I’m afraid though that the kitty may already be too far gone. If she continues to suffer with no relief in sight, I would consider putting her to sleep. If the kitty just seems poorly but still displays a good attitude, just love it a lot.
I’ve had multiple pets growing up. One of our cats lived over 16 years before it died. Another lived 6 before being run over by a neighbor. My one dog was 14 when it had a stroke and was found wandering the street in a confused state. We took it to a vet where he laid out our limited options. Ultimately our family decided she had a decent life and keeping her alive was doing her a huge disservice.
My cousin owned cat that developed some kind of digestive problem that gradually became worse. Though he had the option to euthanize his wife convinced him to pour thousands of dollars–money he couldn’t really afford–into veterinary visits and surgery. The feeble thing lingered on for two more months before it ultimately expired. Now they’re expecting a child. Guess who now doesn’t have a college fund because his mommy spent it all trying to save a cat?
I stand by my original statement. Spending a fortune to prolong your pet’s inevitable death–especially when it means drawing out its suffering–just to fill your need for companionship is narcissistic and reprehensible. For all the money spent in the OP they could have easily have adopted a half dozen more. The shelters around me are so overwhelmed they routinely have to destroy the animals no one adopts.
Vicullum, I agree with everything you said in your post there. You’re absolutely right that it’s not always feasible or desirable to spend a lot of money trying to save a pet’s life, and there’s no shame in saying, “Fluffy’s had a good life, this is going to seriously deplete my savings and it might not even help her–I’m going to let her go.” There’s no shame in even saying, “I love Fluffy, but I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars trying to cure something that might not be curable, even if I have it to spend.” That’s each individual pet owner’s decision, and only they have to live with the results. Every person is different–I think everybody in this thread understands that.
But can you see how your statement in this post comes across a lot differently than your initial one: “Just put it out of its misery already. It’s a cat. You can always get a new one”?