Because producers rely upon vintage car restoration clubs to supply autos for period pieces, you’re given the impression that every car on the road in, say, 1948, was in pristine condition, instead of the same proprtion of beaters & junkers on the road today.
Oh my god…those writers wrote the new book on typical TV crap that never happens in the real world.
I think they single handedly (is that a word?) depleted the Dodge Charger population to near extinct levels. Of course, 30 foot jumps in a Dodge resulted in a slight bounce, and no suspension damage.
I heard they destroyed around 80 of the Dukes’ cars with the jumping stunts.
One time, good ol’ Cooter converted dem ol’ Dukes’ car into 4-wheel drive and converted them back before the end of the show.
Officer Roscoe P. Coltrain: “Doh…dem Duke Boys done gone scuffed up my vehicle…go get 'em, Flash…”
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When bad guys shoot their guns, not only do they never run out of bullets, but that same limitless amount of bullets never comes close to touching the hero (except for a “Leave me…save yourself…go now, damnit!” scene).
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Any car, truck, or van can be hot-wired in exactly 15 seconds by an unexperienced car thief. That, or the keys will be in the space between the sun visor and the roof.
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Every single character in every single show drives a car with an automatic transmission.
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Bad guys can slam doors in a house, fade out of the material plane, and rematerialize behind the investigating protagonist with no effort whatsoever.
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There is never anyone in a beach scene who doesn’t fall into the 18-25 range, and they always have hot, hot bodies.
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There will never be an end to the supply of the 55-60-year-old night watchman who’s just a bit too slow on the draw and takes a bullet.
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Two hands balled into one big fist have the magical ability to knock anyone unconscious with a feather touch.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zappo *
**Hi everybody,
This thread finally inspired me to get off my duff and register. You’ll all probably regret that. . .
Welcome. Anybody bringing up the stupidity of the Dukes of Hazzard is alright in my book.
The Dukes could be their own thread. 
In the days before touchtone phones, we had this thing called “pulse dialing” and phones actually had dials on them. When you dialed, say, a 5, you moved the dial to 5, and the phone would click, or “pulse”, as it counted to five (well, not really five, because one-click signals were ignored by the switching equipment, so all the numbers were incremented, but you know what I mean). The “hook flash” sends a pulse down the line. In theory at least, pulsing the line rapidly would send the ol’ zero signal and get you the operator. Why the hook-flash method was preferable to hanging up and dialing zero, I am unsure; probably you wanted to keep the line open if possible and get the operator to reconnect you, which wouldn’t be possible if you hung up.
I’m told that skilled hook-flash artists could make calls on phones with locked dials by tapping out the numbers they wanted to dial on the hook. But, I can’t substantiate that. Today, since pretty much everyone has touchtone and cordless phones without a “hook”, so to speak, you don’t see the hook flashing as much.
Oh. Um, something new for the OP. Er…how about this: even the most unattractive member of the main cast (and here I’m thinking about George Costanza) has no problem getting dates and having sex with very attractive people on a weekly basis.
Personally, i think we should just put red shirts on all of them right from the beginning to save any effort at creating suspense.
When given the opportunity to choose between a sensible and logical course of action, and one which cause needless complications, confusions and (often) hurt feelings always choose the latter. (The former would lead to some very short sit-come episodes. “Mom, I accidentally broke your favorite vase with my football. I am sorry.” “Thank you for telling me. Please be more careful in the future.” The rest of the episode is Billy sitting in the corner as his punishment).
When you enter a room, the occupants will likely be in a misinterpratable position or about to say something which sounds horrible when taken out of context. Rather than asking what is going on, you should storm out of the room and assume the absolute worst possible interpretation you can think of is true.
France has an infinite supply of hitmen and international terrorists.
Oh my god, the wife on “Everybody Loves Raymond” is one of the best things about TV nowadays. She’s my hero!
I’ll agree with the rest, though.
Best show nobody watches: Titus
EEK!
How did this thing get so big? Well, that’s the last time I spend a workday, uh, working, let me tell you.
Off to MPSIMS.
Phil say: TV stupidity is endless! DOWN WITH DUMB-ASS Husbands!
…and it lost some steam, but we’ll keep ‘er hummin’.
Can I just reach out and punch someone next time I hear “frisky” on TV?
And, am I missing something, or were alot of the women on Three’s Company just not attractive, especially Jack’s
come-n-go girlfriends?
Especially at awards shows, with people who should know better: Excuse me, but you don’t have to stick your face in the mic…it’ll pick you up…really.
:):):):)
More on shooting: everybody takes turns! Bad guy takes three shots and ducks for cover. Hero takes three shots and ducks for cover. Bad guy takes three shots …
Couldn’t one of them stop shooting and wait for the other to stick his head out?
Old cop/detective shows:
No matter how savage or prolonged a beating our hero receives, his only visible injury is a littel trickle of blood in the corner of his mouth.
Also - bullet wounds in the arms or legs are fairly common and apparently don’t really hurt that much.
And along those lines, people in sitcoms are allowed to make the most crude, brutal remarks to their purported loved ones, and the victim just sighs or rolls his/her eyes. Remarks that would end marriages (or lead to violence) in real life are dismissed with a shrug.
And sitcom children are oversexed brats who hold their parents in open contempt and have an endless supply of single-entendre one-liners.
I think we could stick Law and Order rants in their own thread.
When you need to knock somebody out, all you need is an open-handed blow to the back of the neck just under the skull. Although it requires some knowledge of atemi to pull it off consistently, every two-bit fighter manages to do it.
Capicitor, I would not be able to do that since I don’t even know what “atemi” is! The villians are safe around me.
Oh yeah, I’m in Boston. On TV, everyone in Boston lives within walking distance (although they never take our subway or trolleys, both rather scenic) of several things: a foghorn, a lighthouse, piles of lobster traps, brick sidewalks, gas lamps, and several Irish bars. There are no black, gay, or Jewish people living here. The students all dress for summer in Los Angeles in November, and they all have makeup as thick as Southern beauty queens. Nobody goes to the Symphony or to hear a lecture or even to the Pops. There are three seasons: fall with Technicolor foliage, winter with snow that never gets dirty or slushy, and summer that isn’t muggy and filled with blackflies. Your window will have a view of the Harbor and there will be the Cheers Bar or the Paul Revere statue out the front door.
With just the brick sidewalks and Irish bars,
Carolyn
Something that irritates me to no end is TV eating.
They take one (fake) bite of something and are then chewing for the rest of the scene.
bite…chew…talk…resume chewing…talk…chew some more
okay, THANK YOU. i imagine this is one of those things that is too mundane or uhh, bodily-fluid-oriented to make it onto a sitcom, but it’s also one of those things you pick up from television culture that bugs you even though you know it’s wrong. for a long time i thought, am i weird? dysfunctional in some way? just sloppy? made me insecure. but as i’ve gained experience (heh), i’ve begun to realize that the whole TV post-coital routine is totally bogus.
i hope.