What the hell is that BANGING??

In My Humble Opinion
1

Within the past two weeks, something’s been happening in my building. It started very early one morning at about 2am. I had woken up and was just getting back to sleep when…

WhaBOOOM

Enormous fucking bang from next door. Sounded like a dresser drawer had tipped over. I nearly had a heart attack. I listened, but it didn’t happen again.

The next day, in the early afternoon, I was on my computer when…

WhaBAAAM

Same fucking bang! Sounded like my drafting table had collapsed. So I checked on it - it was fine. What the hell made that noise??

These gigantic bangs have been happening intermittently, seemingly from different areas, every day since then, at any hour of the day or night. It’s REALLY starting to piss me off. It doesn’t sound like someone moving furniture or anything like that - it’s sudden, too loud, and often happens too late for it to be that. What in the hell could be causing this kind of noise?

2

We’re trying to have an orgasm on every piece of furniture in the house.

3

I should mention, I live in an apartment building.

4

Is it an older building? Could it have something to do with the heat? I know in my school building, when they first turn on the heat in the morning the pipes bang like you wouldn’t believe.

5

Just remember: If your SO tells you that they hear something like that, believe them.

6

Yeah, the building’s about 50 years old. We have baseboard heating. I don’t think it’s coming from there though, because the bangs seem to come from different areas - ceiling, floor, left wall, right wall - I’ve heard houses settling before, and it sure didn’t sound like this. This sounds like an object is actually hitting something.

It’s also only been happening in the past two weeks. I’ve never heard it before in the 3 years I’ve been living here.

7

Oops. Sorry.

>> Moves headboard away from the wall, disassembles trapeze. <<

8

Obligatory The Young Ones reference:

9

If that’s the cause, then dang, we’ve been having a rash of explosions around the city!
secretly wishes that boss’s house will go up next

10

Uh…that was supposed to be tiny type.
makes mental note not to open this thread at work

11

Damn, man, if that’s what you’re up to, can I come visit? :smiley:
I have whipped cream and cherries in the fridge

12

Serial killer in the apartment building?

13

What’s he killing with? A sledgehammer??

14

Neighbor has a new weight set and occasionally can’t handle the lowering and lets it drop?

Jim

15

Just make sure it isn’t an accident in an illegal meth lab or something.

16

I assume that the OP would have mentioned a raging inferno or a huge smoking hole in the ground.

17

I’m thinking the dishwasher-door being slammed shut.

18

Garbage men, using their trucks to empty dumpsters?

19

Water pipes? Those things can be loud!

20

Naw. I’ve heard banging pipes and they’re much quieter than this.
There was another mega-bang in the wee hours of this morning again. Around 3 am.