What the hell kinda mushrooms were these?

No photo - yet. I saw them yesterday, didn’t have time to grab the phone and snap a picture. I was walking past a tree in our front yard and something bright caught my eye. I thought it was a bit of trash that had wound up under the tree but looked and saw a bright, almost fluorescent orange-yellow stalk, maybe half an inch thick, and 4-5 inches long, coming up out of the mulch. It was topped off by a narrow black cap not much wider than the stalk, perhaps an inch long.

The thing looked like someone had stuck a glow stick into the ground and topped it off with a twist of black paper. Seriously, it was brighter than anything natural had any right to be.

And on the other side of the tree was another one, a little smaller.

Do I have radioactive mushrooms? Am I going to mutate into anything fun and/or useful?

We’re in the mid-Atlantic if that helps anyone figure it out.

Was it a stinkhorn? (Google images)

Was it rather … phallic-looking? If so, I’d say stinkhorn. Believe me, they look even weirder after the fruiting bodies mature - like carnivorous alien-starfish-creatures dotting the grass.

Aw. From the subject line I’d expected the OP to be writing after the hallucinogenic high had passed.

We had a weird, huge bloom of mushrooms in the front yard, the size of a large bridal bouquet. When I finally went to remove them, it was like kicking an only slightly rotted tree stump loose, MUCH tougher and heavier than I expected.

Need answer faaaoooossssshoopty?


I was hoping the OP would describe a bleeding tooth fungus, cuz I know what those are. I saw one when I was a teenager and my brain couldn’t process what the hell I was looking at.

What kind of a goddam weird planet do we live on that can produce such strange, creepy, grotesque, misshapen, uh-gleeee, scary, LIVE objects out of the plain ol’ dirt??? I will not be able to get those pictures out of my head.

Will the OP please come back with a picture, as long as my brain cells are fried anyway.

<Thelma goes in search of a cool compress. And some booze.>

Careful, it may infect humans. :eek:

mackdonna shoehorse butterhorn…

um… huh? wha?

I forgot to snap a photo earlier, will try shortly. From the links plus my own searching, I’m reasonably sure they are mutinus elegans (elegant stinkhorns), though none of the photos do justice to how Day-Glo the stalks are!

They are, in fact, edible if you can get past the fact that
a) they’re said to smell awful (I didn’t get close enough to find that out for myself), and
b) They’re mushrooms (which I loathe).

Oh, and regarding their phallic appearance:

Ahahahahahaahaha!!! Now I know what a dog’s sex toy would look like!