We did a split shift night as well, and it also saved my sanity. (I stopped bawling when anyone spoke to me. That was nice.) We did it in reverse; I’m a night owl and my husband is an early bird. I’d stay up with the baby until midnight or so, then lay down. I’d do the 2:30 or 3:00 or whatever feeding, and then it was his turn. I got to sleep in until 7:30 or 8:00, so I’d have a solid 4-5 hours to go on. Heavenly.
We eventually drew the line at 4:00 AM - anything that happened before that was my problem, and anything after was his. This led to me waking up to a baby cry, checking the clock and either cursing God or thinking “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!” depending on which side of 4:00 we were on. Once it was 4:01.
Our baby shift turnover time was 3:45. She was mine till then, his after. That only lasted about six weeks though; by then she was sleeping a 7-8 hour stretch reliably.
Until she was about four months old, and learned to break out of her swaddle and roll over. It’s been heck ever since.
I agree with the others who have suggested diapers, towels, etc. Supplies are the thing needed right away. I recall stuff like little scissors for fingernails, a snot-sucker, lots of wet wipes and towels (diapers can be used as towels), those little tee shirts that have the mitten ends on them to cover up ragged fingernails (they can grow fast and weird shaped, and they’ll scratch themselves), extra blankets, sheets (and extra everything because you can’t believe how much shit can come out of something that small), some books and magazines to read while your staying up with the kid. Also, if you don’t have it, a dresser to use as a changing table, and drawers to put all that stuff away.
When our first was born I put an aquarium in the eventual nursery. The bubbling was soothing and the light was good to have on. You have a few months before worrying about the child proofing because babies aren’t mobile right away. And by that time your nervousness has worn off (replaced by fatique), so you won’t be inclined to go overboard. Toys and decorative clothing will be provided by friends and family.
Can I put in a vote for listening to the grandpas as well?
(OK, OK, I won’t be a grandpa for about another six weeks, but I went through the baby times back in the day.)
We raised two kids, and from day one they had their own rooms. I have to confess that we never considered keeping them in our bedroom - for the first couple of months the parents don’t get enough sleep as is.
The baby won’t be crawling for the first eight months or so, so “babyproofing” the house can wait. Plenty of inexpensive baby clothes (bear in mind the baby is going to take lots of dumps while wearing them, so inexpensive is the way to go here), a small crib, a fully-supplied changing station, a car seat for each car, and a nice car-seat-like baby hamper for when the baby is with you around the rest of the house will do you fine for quite a few months.
BTW one thing that worked out well for us: when the baby woke up in the middle of the night, mom stayed in bed - dad (that’s me) went and got the baby, cleaned her up if that was necessary, and brought her to mom for breastfeeding. I also put her back into her crib afterwards. That way we felt that dad would be seen as at least part of the food chain process (and I was as much sleep-deprived as mom was).
I don’t know if I had the barfiest baby ever, but I smelled like barf for the first 3-4 months. I would buy a set of t-shirts for yourself so you can do a quick change.
I would have the carpets cleaned, because shorty will be playing on the floor before you know it. Congrats!
I second the suggestion about putting the clips on the doors and drawers now. Yes, the baby’s not going to be here for several months, and then will be immobile at first, but right now you have TIME! and you’re not so sleep deprived that it will take an hour to figure out how to get the clip to work on the drawer. (Yes, an hour. No, I’m not exaggerating. Chronic sleep deprivation makes it difficult to do spatial thinking.)
Particularly important is to put all medicines in one cabinet, drawer, what-have-you and put a clip on it. Don’t forget to look under the kitchen sink and your laundry supply area - there are amazingly toxic things in household use. Make sure they’re not accessible.
Don’t use one of those “bumpers” in the crib. (Crib sets come with sheets and pillow cases, and often a bumper of soft material that’s designed to be tied to the slats on the inside of the crib at mattress level.) Yes, they’re cute, but really, the chance of baby rolling over so hard as to really hurt him/herself on the crib slats is miniscule. Those bumpers have been linked to SIDS. SIDS is still mysterious, but increasingly, the theory is that a localised build-up of CO2 from baby’s breathing may trigger it; that for some reason the baby’s breathing instinct isn’t properly developed. And those bumpers may contribute to that localised build-up in the crib at the mattress level. That’s also why it’s now suggested that there be a fan in the baby’s room, near the crib, as Sattua mentioned - the fan increases air circulation around the crib and reduces the CO2 buildup.
Anne, get a pair of small barbells (2 or 3 lb.) and start doing wrist curls now, daily. When we had the Cub, Mrs Piper developed really bad tendonitis in both wrists, because of regularly lifting the little guy. She actually had to go to physio for it. And she was surprised by the number of other new mums who said they’d had the same thing happen. Doing wrist curls now may help prevent it from happening.
Mr Neville should get a portfolio for when you’re at the hospital - a plastic or manila folding portfolio to hold documents. Babys generate an amazing amount of paperwork, and we kept losing or misplacing stuff when we were at the hospital. It would have been very helpful to have one portfolio where we could shove everything, not lose it, and be able to go back to it at home if we still needed to refer to anything. And it should be Mr Neville’s job to track the paper - you’re going to be tired out, Anne.
Strongly agree with working out the night schedule in advance so you’re both sharing the load. Our little guy was a bottle baby, so the schedule was easy - we alternated nights, which guaranteed that each of us was getting a reasonably solid sleep every other night. Of course, that was balanced by the mornings after the night where you were up three or four times; I often thought that all of my legal opinions from that period should have gone out with an asterisk and a footnote: “Written by sleep-deprived daddy lawyer. Use at your own risk.”
Good luck, and have fun! It’s been a great ride for Piper Clan! Wish you much happiness!
About an hour ago I saw a news segment that has info you need to remember when junior starts going mobile. It seems that ERs have experienced a dramatic spike in visits resulting from the young’un swallowing a “button” battery.
The danger is not from the lithium leaking, it is from the current of the battery (which is apparently much more powerful than it used to be). If lodged in the esophagus, the battery can burn a hole in the tissue in less than two hours (so says the report). Their advice is to securely tape the battery compartments on any remotes you have lying around, including some car key fobs.
mmm
Agreed. While we never did do anything involving bolting stuff to walls (Bad Mommy!!), if you do plan on doing so (and really you should), now would be better than later.
If you find lead paint, I’m not sure what the options are. Obviously removing it is impractical (not to mention risky, since you don’t want someone kicking up clouds of lead-tainted paint dust around your house).
My mom did the whole “bassinet in the room with me until 1-2 months and then out into their own room” thing with my younger siblings, so that has always seemed like a pretty good model to me. As for me, we co-slept but obviously it’s not for everyone. I will admit that co-sleeping was a lot better with babies 2 and 3 once I’d mastered the whole “nursing while lying down” thing. Baby 1…not so much.
Our shift breakdown was: I did nighttime feedings and MrWhatsit did nighttime diaper changes. It worked out pretty well for us.
Anyway, that’s a little off-topic. I’ll second the advice to do all the babyproofing stuff now while you have some time to kill. Put the little outlet protector things in and babyproof the cabinets and whatnot. Once you have a crawling active baby, the amount of time you have to devote to such things will drop precipitously.
Oh, oh, oh! The best thing you can do to make sure you babyproof everything that needs it is to borrow a friend’s curious toddler and have them explore your house (supervised of course). They will probably find several issues you never would have thought of!
