The same goes for Europe. Many schools in the UK now have the policy of never, ever, under any circumstances touching children. But in most places that I know of there is clear recognition of the difference between a child not wearing clothes and child sexual abuse.
That was the point: in Europe, IME, nudity is not a big deal. Child sexual abuse is.
I wrote a short story in middle or high school in the 1990’s where the protagonist took a weapon and sort of went on a killing spree. It was pure fiction and didn’t relate to anything I wanted to do or that I ever ended up doing. In those days I guess teachers just shrugged at it and gave it a grade and forgot about it. Several years later, after the Columbine massacre, I started to hear about kids being pulled into the Principal’s office or even sent to a counselor or psychologist for writing this kind of stuff.
I’m one of the first people to say that modern society is too quick to find men to be paedos, but I have to say that the OP is worrying about very little. My neices, of whom I have three that are five (and I have others) are all over me, in a way that if they were grown women behaving like that could possibly be called sexual I suppose but when they are kids there is no way that any sane person would think they are being anything other than kids. I suggest to the OP he relishes it, I dunno if he has kids but for me they are the nearest I have to children atm and I love playing with them on the occasions I see them, which are not very often tbh. This xmas I spent most of my time with them playing with their furbies but also a silly game called doggy doo doo where the aim was to make a plastic dog make yellow shits, and I know if they do remember these times then it’ll be just like the times I remember when I was roughly their age and their mothers were late teenagers/early twenties.
There is absolutely no reason to worry at all about appearances of propriety. If your family is remotely normal then they will know that things could look weird if one was determined to take things the wrong way, but thatkinda concern basically means there cannot be a family.
I haven’t thought deep enough about the situations to work out whether or not I felt aroused but a thought did pop into my head that having light sexual contact with a baby would be preferable to a toddler or child because there would probably be less chance of getting caught. On the other hand other people might find it more disturbing. BTW I see a psychiatrist for schizoaffective disorder already and I don’t want to ever have an inappropriate sexual experience.
This is the part I just cannot get my head round. How on earth are you making a connection between having a 5 year old child touching your legs and “light sexual contact”? Touch in and of itself is not sexual, and a million times less so when it is a child playing with a member of their extended family!
Aaaaand suddenly I remember: you were the guy who goes into detail about how repulsed you are by your poor, unwitting fiancee.
Oh dear.
I think you should probably minimise contact with children. I don’t mean to sound unkind, but I really do think in your situation, close contact with children is unwise.
BTW in my family they only hugged and kissed - we didn’t show physical affection in any other ways. I craved having physical affection from a girl.
child touching legs -> touch is unusual -> from girl, which is my dream -> this particular girl is too young -> borderline pedophile -> worried of being caught -> contact with baby would minimize risk of getting court -> sexual light contact because penetration might cause bleeding etc which could increase chance of getting caught.
She’s my wife now.
I think the more I have contact with children the more I’d learn about how to get along with them.
Ok… in this case I think the question goes way beyond “How can I get my niece to stop touching my legs?”…
**
Colophon**, JohnClay has some mental-health issues (as he has acknowledged himself), and because of those I wouldn’t necessarily attribute the dubious implications that jump out from that statement.\
From anybody else, I’d be calling the Child Protection Team, but perhaps there might be ‘difficulties in translation’ you might say.
Your call JohnClay: 
I recommend never spending any time alone with children. It’s fine for you to be around kids, but only be around them when you are with other people, ok JohnClay? I know you don’t intend any harm but with your mental health the way it is, you don’t want to put yourself into a bad situation. Your curiosity might get the better of you one day and you might do something bad.
So, keep people around you when you are around young children, ok? Please.
I didn’t mean to imply he would act improperly. I mean that the problem is with his reaction, not with the girl’s action. But I suspect he knows that.
Strange, I heard this exact question, almost word for word, on a Savage Love Podcast recently. Might have been an old show, I’ve been listening to his archives lately.
I agree that it’s best if you do not spend time alone with children. For whatever reason, your social filters don’t work like most people’s, and it appears that you could easily turn an innocent situation into a nasty incident by saying the wrong thing. Example:
I’m not at all sure what you meant, but it squicks me out.
It’s perfectly acceptable to tell a child (or their parents) that you are not comfortable being touched. Simply say, “Please don’t touch me. It makes me uncomfortable”. Do not discuss it further since that may lead to you saying things that will be misinterpreted.
A very serious piece of advice:
Do not EVER let words come out of your mouth about children and penetration, bleeding, or getting caught.
Sage wisdom indeed.
Oooooooh. Him.
Yeah, I’ll agree with everyone in the world and say to MAKE SURE you’re never, ever alone with any child.
You are sick. Plain and simple. I don’t care how anyone else is pussy footing around this, you should never be around children, and should probably never have your own.
Thank you for stating the obvious. And I second April R’s suggestion.
Don’t look at me; I think these attitudes are loonytunes.
Edit: on the other hand, the OP’s latest comments creep me out