Look, JohnClay has his mental problems, self admittedly. He has come here to ask for help and he knows he has an issue that needs to be dealt with.
That being said, none of us are therapists or doctors, and if we are, we aren’t going to be giving him medical advice as a doctor or therapist.
We cannot diagnose him. We can only offer him advice.
And I think most of us agree that considering his mental health issues, he should not be alone around children.
Easy. The guy has admitted that he has mental issues which apparently he is being treated for. He probably needs to talk to his mental health professional about this, and in the mean time minimize his contact with children until they can adjust his meds or help him to understand how inappropriate those thoughts are. The fact that he is aware of the issue, and uncomfortable with it should be enough to note that he is trying his best.
We all have horrible thoughts occasionally that we would be loathe to ever admit to.
Indeed, this may be the biggest difference between folk like JohnClay and the rest of us.
Not about fucking babies.
Dude, don’t say shit like this out loud. Nuke your online IDs and start anew.
JohnClay, you are entirely in charge of the thoughts in your head, I don’t care what your diagnosis is. Every parent and guardian who has held children, changed babies, and bathed kids is capable of ignoring or suppressing even the barest hint of sexual thoughts towards helpless, vulnerable creatures. You just don’t allow yourself to dwell on such thoughts. You immediately switch channels and think of something else. Just stop it. Do exactly what most everyone else does: turn off sexual thoughts, squelch anything destructive or shameful, kill it before it grows.
For most of us this instinct comes naturally, if it doesn’t for you: work on it. If you don’t know right from wrong, if you are unable to control your impulses, and if you continue to have thoughts you know damn well are unacceptable and potentially harmful: stay away from anyone under the age of consent until you get your shit together.
Is she hot?
(someone had to say this :D)
This is really good advice. I’d also recommend showing these posts to your therapist at your next appointment.
I’m not sure they really did, in this case.
This point has been made, by April and by several others, and it need not be made again. To do so would be overdoing it on the “advice” and stepping more fully into the “insult” range.
Let’s stop the pile-on on JohnClay before it starts; if further constructive advice can be offered, fine, but otherwise please refrain from any more posts such as this (example) one quoted here.
Ellen
Isn’t a pile-on exactly what’s needed here? He needs to know exactly how bad this line of thought is and it’s not the kind of advice that should be given delicately. He needs to be bluntly told why this is wrong and that he needs help.
“Dude you’re sick, get help” ad nauseum, and with increasing intensity, is a pile-on — and that’s what I’m trying to avoid. Constructive advice on dealing with unwanted thoughts and the like isn’t.
Not really. If he does indeed have the mental issues he has indicated, then the usual social cues don’t work correctly with him. He may have those thoughts, or hear voices telling him to do the same regardless of how much he knows that it is inappropriate. That is the one of the differences between a normal person and one with mental issues. The former can control their own thoughts, the latter, not always.
Bullshit. Quirky or not, this guy has demonstrated the ability to construct coherent sentences, marry, has access to the internet… in other words he isn’t homeless or in prison for shoving people in front of trains, exposing himself, shooting up shopping centers, or otherwise acting on hideous impulses that endanger himself or others. On the off chance he’s just now feeling out the ideas he expressed here, he needs to be told to stop it now. There is no possible way to follow his impulses without destroying the lives of everyone involved. He needs to stop this train of thought immediately and move on to other constructive pursuits. Period.
BTW the last time I was unwell was 5 years ago. When I was in my late twenties I still hadn’t held hands or kissed or dated a girl yet. But now I have become quite used to that - with one girl at least (my wife). As far as kids go I haven’t had much experience as an adult figure - usually I am kind of like on their level. I used to think I was a creepy guy and craved affection from an attractive girl but now I’m over that. I think me reading some self-help books and going to psychologists has made me more self-aware of my feelings including my dark ones. Also I was raised to be a Christian and some believers think that lust is basically the same as committing adultery. (And hate is murder) I’m now an atheist - well lately I’m starting to believe in the “universe” being a bit like a god. Me distancing myself from children - e.g. when the extended family gets together - will make me even more out of touch and have more unusual thoughts. It seems people want me to believe that I have to stay away from kids because I’m in danger of molesting the kids… if I expressed that to other people that would make things even worse.
Don’t be a twit. Educate yourself.
BTW as far as my mental illness goes - I’ve never heard voices. My hospitalisations have bhe een due to mania, depression and catatonia. When unwell I’d sometimes believe in magic or that people can be happy all the time if they follow the directions in some of the books I’ve read. I think my thoughts about the touching involved extra self-awareness even though it might be misguided. I used to be hardly self-aware at all and would just day-dream a lot. Then I started thinking I’m a creepy guy, etc.
Forgot I wasn’t in the pit, and missed the edit window. I retract the first part of my post.
BTW I’ve never been in trouble with the police or with my school or even with my parents (except when I was young). I was the dux of my high school. I became manic during my last year at university and believed that you need to love everybody in the world to be happy and also that I could choose my role in the game of life (the latter idea was my own). So I started changing my “role” into a person that wanted to do anything I could to make people happy. Well sometimes I stirred people up for the fun of it (the girl I liked and her friend)
BTW in Robert Glover’s “No More Mr Nice Guy” it says to share secrets with “safe people”. I consider this board to be “safe” though they’re not as supportive as a “safe” person would be. I guess therapists would be better. BTW I don’t discuss these matters with regular people in my life. BTW Robert said “the nicer the guy the darker the secrets”.