What to do with a pet when he dies

In My Humble Opinion
1

This is my first OP. I don’t really know who else to ask about this stuff. I’ve had my cat for 9 years now, and although he isn’t dying, he does have a chronic condition. He had another flare-up yesterday and I worry about him. So I was talking to the vet techs at the emergency hospital and they all agree that you should plan ahead. (They had to put two animals down yesterday alone. Man, I couldn’t do that job.)

When I was a kid, if a pet died, we would bury him (or her) in the yard. But I grew up in a fairly rural subdivision in a small town. Now I live in an apartment in a big town and I don’t even have a yard. There is a very nice, privately owned animal shelter about 15 minutes from where I live. They will cremate your dearly departed and give you a plot in the garden for about $400. Maybe it’s just the Steven King influence, but pet cemetaries give me the creeps. I mean, would he really want to lay in state at the shelter? We originally got him from a shelter, and for years he panicked when he saw the pet taxi, thinking we would abandon him like his previous owner.

Last year, I had a chameleon that died. He was small enough (just a little nipper) that I could bury him in the grass in front of my mini-porch. Around Eastertime, I bought some hyacinths from the store and planted them where he was buried. Now the flowers are starting to sprout. It makes me feel so much better about my poor deceased lizard, knowing that nature will heal, that dying is just part of the cycle. I’d really like my cat to rest (eventually) in a special place like that. Someplace that I could check on him every day and see how the flowers are blooming, or even have a bird feeder so the birds would visit.

Although, I was thinking about getting an urn, and then when I eventually buy a house in a few years, I could bury the ashes in the yard. The idea of keeping a dead family member on the mantelpiece is vaguely creepy. Although I looked through the catalog at the vet’s and they had some nice, um, containers.

I guess what bothers me is, when I was 17 my cat died of feline leukemia while I was away for the summer. My mother said they had to cremate him because of the chance he might infect another cat. But past that, she never said what happened to him. I don’t even want to think about where he might have ended up.

I just know, when the day comes (years from now, with luck) I’m going to be a wreck. So what do my fellow Dopers advise? I know there’s some pet lovers out there! Help me make a decision, so I can stop worrying about when Puss dies and enjoy the time that I have left.

THANK YOU!

2

I am so sorry to hear that your cat is not well. I feel for you.

I have 3 cats and I love them so much, that when I think about when it is their time to go I get really sad. Hopefully it will be many many years from now as they are all not yet 3 years old yet. I am planning on having them cremated and put in a sealed memorial urn. And then at some point maybe bury the ashes when I know I will not be moving again so they will always be nearby.

I know I will be a wreck if something happens to them. I get all emotional when someone elses pet is very ill or dies. I am just a super softy I guess.

It is always good to plan ahead and try and prepare. Just love your furbaby as always, you will know what to do when the time comes. (((hugs)))

3

I have some very old pets, too, and I know I’ll be faced with this dilemma sometime soon. When my cat Boo passed on in 1996, we buried him in our yard. We have a fairly large, multi-level yard and the spot is out of the way, kinda behind the garage. I don’t know if it was legal or not, but that’s what we did. I think from now on I’ll opt for cremation, and I’ll beg and borrow for the money to do it individually (as opposed to the group cremations the vets offer). My pets are more than just pets to me, and death is so hard. I hope you are not faced with this decision anytime soon, and you have many years left with your pal.

4

Sorry to hear about your cat …

Would the shelter let you bring the ashes home?

5

I know a couple here at work who had lost their dog and had her cremated. They kept her ashes, where exactly I don’t know.
I had always thought that was vaguely creepy too.
But when I lost my senior cat over a year ago suddenly it seemed like a good idea. He was something out of the ordinary, even among felines, and I couldn’t bear the thought of ever leaving him behind. So I had him cremated and kept the ashes. Not in an urn though, that somehow would be creepy. I found a nice wooden box, painted and finished it myself, and decoupaged a photo collage of him & me onto the top. It resides on a shelf in my living room and looks like any other decorative object unless you happen to know what it is.
It was harder to lose him than it was any other animal I’ve ever had-and those weren’t easy. But this made it bearable.
Hope that wasn’t too ooky. :slight_smile:

6

Sorry about your cat Faye V. I know how tough it is to lose a friend like that. I’ve gone through my fair share of pet deaths.

About your question, my mother recently told me a story which illustrates what NOT to do with the remains. When she was young, she had a dog named Jake. Well, Jake eventually got old and died, so my grandfather took it upon himself to bury the remains. They lived across the street from a cemetery- a *human * cemetery. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Well Grandpa buried Jake on the outskirts of this cemetery, in an undeveloped stretch of land. Now that was 20 years ago. The way my mother figures it, plots have probably already been sold on that land. Sooner or later, someone’s going to get a big surprise when they start digging a grave and find that there are already bones in there. Poor Jake. Grandpa meant well, he just lacked foresight.

7

Faye V., I commend you for thinking about this now. Planning for your cat’s passing is such a hard thing to think about, especially when it’s not anticipated any time soon, but being prepared is the absolute best thing you could do.

A kitty I had the pleasure of growing up with died when she was 17. I was so distraught that I basically let my parents take care of her body. They took her to a shelter like the one you described, cremated her, and had a small services where her ashes were spread across the ground there. (I was such a wreck I didn’t even go.) They meant well, but looking back I wish I’d taken some initiative.

I will probably cremate the two cats I have now when their times come, and put their ashes in something nice. I wish I had done the same for my first cat. It probably sounds creepy, but I truly miss her, and just having her near me and not in some random place in the world would make my heart a lot less heavy. The thought of leaving her totally behind seems so finalized and cold.

Do what you think is best for you and him… and cherish him as much as you can while you still have him, he’s a total blessing! :slight_smile:

8

I am truly sorry to hear about your cat. Being only 17 I have had only a few experiences of this kind but I live in the country so we buried our pets on our land. If you have opted for cremation and dont want to keep the ashes in your home, do you have a place thats special to you? Family farm, original house, secluded spot? Maybe just scatter the ashes there. Your pet will always be there and be a part of it.

9

I had to bury the bestest cat ever, who died suddenly of a stroke or seizure at 2 years old, when I lived in a rental house. If she hadn’t been the bestest cat ever I wouldn’t have minded burying her in the rented backyard, but she was and I did. I located friends who owned a house who were willing to bury her in their yard.

Pet death sucks so much. I have to leave this thread now and not come back.

10

I’ve always left the dead cats at the vets (except one who was the childhood cat which got buried in the back yard).

I’ve never felt the need to hang onto dead bodies or ashes. I always figured pictures were much better.

I did have a ferret that died a rather long drawn out death. I took his little body, dug a hole in the back yard, filled it half with cement, put little Winsor in the hole curled up into a ball, put another 6-8 inches of concrete over him and covered the hole. I’d like to think he’ll be a nice find years and years down the line.

Perhaps instead of buring the ashes you could put them in a lake or something. This way the entire lake will remind you of the cat. On second though, a large body of water might not be the best resting place for a house cat.

I’m going to have to start thinking abou tthis myself soon. We have a 80 lb lab who is getting up in years. That’s the bigest animal I’ve ever owned and I haven’t a clue of what to do if I wake up one day and find her dead. I’m going to have to drag her off somewhere. EEEEesh.

11

Where do you live? If you are in a non-urban environment, why not take a drive out to some wooded area and bury him there? That way you can go out and visit him and it will be in a nice environment. Even if you live in an urban setting you can still do it, it wil just take a longer drive and you won’t get to visit as much.

12

I say that keeping ashes is not creepy at all. We have our beloved Miss Emily’s ashes on the piano; she and Mr. S had a very strong bond, and we feel that if her spirit were to remain anywhere on earth, it would be near us and close to what remained of her physical body. So there she is on the piano in a cubical brass urn engraved with her name and dates, along with a small springer figurine that looks remarkably like her, a small framed photo, one of the mints she loved to steal, one of the last biscuits we offered her (she was too ill to eat it), and her first and last (puppy and adult) collars interlinked. Yes it’s a bit of a shrine among the other stuff on the piano, but we like having her close.

13

When our dogs had to be put down (same day ::sniff:: ) we had them cremated and when the whole family was together we spread their ashes in the yard.

My cat had to be put down last year. I’m not sure what they did with her body.

Now I’m crying at work. :frowning:

14

Faye, the best thing you can do, both for yourself and for Puss, is to have a plan in place ahead of time. It’s a hard decision to make now, but believe me, it’s a much harder one to make when you’re exhausted and upset. Sometimes owners make a decision, any decision, just to get it over with and wind up regretting it. A lot of other owners, when confronted with the choice, get overwhelmed and start rethinking the whole euthanasia thing. Meanwhile, the animal sits there suffering while the owner struggles with all these decisions.

For your situation, it sounds like you’re leaning toward private cremation and keeping the ashes until you find a suitable place for burial, and there’s nothing in the world wrong with that. It’s probably what I’d do if one of my girls fell over dead tomorrow. (We own our house, but we’re moving in a little over a year. I’d probably bury the ashes at my parents’ house.) The important thing isn’t what I or anyone else thinks, but rather whether it will work for you and your life. Once you’ve made your decision, it would be a good idea to let your regular vet know so they don’t have to bug you about it when the time comes. If you wind up at the emergency clinic, go on and tell the vet or tech what you want to do when you make the decision about euthanasia. (That’s the worst part of the whole euthanasia scenario, there’s just no good way to ask without feeling like you sound really callous. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, only two euthanasias is considered a pretty good shift.)

Seven, some pet crematoriums and cemetaries have pet hearses and will come and pick up the remains for disposal. The guy our clinic deals with has an old human hearse capable of transporting 200# mastiffs and will make home pickups at any reasonable hour, seven days a week. If you don’t want to go that route, in most areas sanitation services will come pick up the remains and dispose of them for you.

15

When my kitties go, hopefully not for ages, I’m having them cremated. My last cat was killed when he jumped off the balcony and was run over. Since he was a young, healthy indoor cat I certainly hadn’t expected him to take a flying leap and get his dear little self squashed and I hadn’t made any plans. In the end I had to bury him in my aunt’s back yard. The thought of him forever stuck some place strange is not good. So I definitely second the plan ahead folks, no use making a tough time worse.

Oh, with small animals, like my canary Basilio, I just keep him in the freezer. When I’m settled some place more permanent then I’ll bury him.

16

A dear friend of mine has been adopted by many many dogs over the years. She has several small ceramic pots with lids, and each one holds the ashes her departed pets.

Before her mom died, she joked that my friend would put her ashes up there with the dogs, and in fact, she did! After her dad died, mom’s and dad’s ashes have since been interred in a Veteran’s Cemetary. But the pets’ pots remain.

We had two pets die at home - at the time we had large yards and we had buried both of them. The dog we have now will go with our daughter when she starts college this fall. I’ll need to discuss this with her, since the dog is 9 already and may not live much longer. I hate that she may have to deal with this on her own, but we won’t be able to take the dog till our new house is built - possibly 2 years from now. But I expect we’ll just ask the vet to take care of it for us.

17

If I had the say (I haven’t so far), I would bury them in the back yard. For the moment, we don’t have a back yard, either.

Since I got married 3 cats and a dog have died and they’ve all been cremated, and we have wooden urns with their ashes. That was done in Indianapolis, and they’re packed away in storage while we do battle the evil demons of real estate.

The really odd part is that when I rented the storage unit, the old ladies who were in the office that day told me they have another business going: a pet crematory. If Sadie the VunderDog croaks, my wife will make sure they get our business.

18

The dog I grew up with was taken to the vet and never returned (but he was already dead). Memo to self- never leave turkey necks and bones in the kitchen trash…

My next dog was buried in our back yard. It freaked out the gardeners a little- first they didn’t get hysterically barked at when they arrived, and then they ran the lawnmower over this big lump in the lawn… She droppped dead of a massive heart attack while digging a hole in my mom’s rose garden. Yep, the joke writes itself, doesn’t it?

Our current dog had health problems, and it isn’t so much an “if” but a “when” for him now. He is over 154 pounds, so I don’t know if burying him in the yard will work. Maybe we will have him cremated and keep the ashes, I’m not sure yet.

19

No pets myself, but in the course of a ten-plus year relationship, I helped a Lady friend bury four cats, and two dogs. Dug all the holes,painted a headstone or two. On the death of her horse, I said I would chip in to rent a back-hoe. Pets, when they die they take a piece of us with them.

20

When my dog Sasha died suddenly last September, I had her cremated and kept the ashes. We will probably spread the ashes somewhere someday, but we may move in a few years and I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her behind.

I’d thought about what to do with my dogs beforehand. My old cat and my parrot are buried in my yard, but the dogs are bigger and a bit harder to deal with. There’s a pet crematorium here in town, and they picked Sasha up from the vet and called me later in the day. I gave them my credit card # and they handled everything. I picked her up later in the week.

She was The Bestest Dog Ever and I miss her every day. :frowning: