Whoosh!
Not if the necktie lights up! Those they love.
Did he mention his dad is James Bond? Seriously, there’s nothing “useful” that guy hasn’t already got.
SDMB membership?
Always tasteful and appreciated. Even if he’s never heard of the SDMB.
Get him a google Home, and a Phillips Hue bridge and at least 2 bulbs (4 is better).
He will have hours of enjoyment telling the lights to turn on and off.
More importantly, he will have the hitherto unimaginable pleasure of it not only being ok to tell a woman what to do, but, depending on his enunciation, she will actually do it!
(Google’s voice default is female. So is Alexa, and it’s actually a nicer voice, but Google is better with the lights - then again, Alexa plays Jeopardy. Hell, get him both)
Always hard to tell with your posts. 
Seconded. Then dad can teach the OP how to participate in a thread.
I bake my dad chocolate chip cookies and take him out to dinner. The only gift I want to give him now that he’s 82 is some of my time.
Now that is very wise!
I have no idea what the ages of the OP and his dad are. If it helps, I’m 53 and my children are 22. What I want from them has nothing to do with my birthday, we don’t care too much about dates. But what I would like from you, pretending you are them, is this:
Tell me (call or write or text or communicate somehow) about something you did recently, small or large, a big promotion or a small, unseen and half-forgotten kindness, of which you are proud, so I can be proud of you too;
Or, tell me about a problem you had recently, and how you solved it, and let me think that it was something I taught you that helped you solve it;
Or, tell me about how you told a bunch of people a joke you once heard from me, and how it got a big laugh;
No father wants a gift from his children. He wants to know that they are healthy and happy and helpful and that he helped (at least a little) them to be so.
Oh. And pictures. Recent pictures.