I noticed in this thread that everyone is having problems coming up for gifts for their dads this year. And it seems to be a problem EVERY year.
I also have the same problem with my dad. This year I told him that I am broke but I am going to buy him a present regardless of his claims of “I don’t want anything or need anything” and he would feel awful guilty if I spent my money on some crap he totally did not need at all so he’d BETTER come up with something.
He did…but the thing he wants (1957 Topps baseball cards of varying condition) is what I am getting him and I am not gonna tell the rest of the family (hehehe). But it’s a group effort to decide what to get Dad, and I need suggestions for my mom and brother. Nothing makes me sadder than seeing dad w/o any good gifts on Christmas morning.
So, those of you who fit into the, say, 45+ male demographic - what do you want this Christmas? Something we can afford, of course. Because everyone else’s dads are keeping mum!!
A subscription to Playboy; I’m fed up with National Geographic,Smithstonian Magazine, Readers Digest, Newsweek and the like. Or, a prepaid one year membership to some particularly raunchy porno pay site.
I gotta tell you that the “I don’t want or need anything” answer is probably right on the mark. He’s probably tired of getting crap - er, stuff - that a) he can’t use and b) he can’t get rid of because a relative gave it to him. My daughter ignored my “no gift” mantra a few years ago and sent me something truly hideous that I had no room for and wouldn’t display if I did. I had to bruise her feelings a bit to get my point across, but at least now I don’t have to worry about some home-made ugly to deal with. To tell the truth, I’m sure she’s relieved not to have to come up with something.
As you get older, you really try to divest yourself of ‘things’. I donated a big box of coffee mugs that people insisted on giving me over the years, and threw out a big box of “sea captain” statuettes that, for some reason that still mystifies me, people thought I was collecting.
Take him out for a good dinner and tell him you love him repeatedly, that you cherish his advice and think he’s the handsomest man in the room. I know it’s what I would prefer.
I need a cordless drill. The old one died, as did my best corded drill. I’m stuck with with the rackety corded drill I took out of service 20 years ago. I can’t seem to buy myself a new one.
Let me tell you what *not to get - cheap tools, cheap gadgets, cheap knives, or cheap anything like that. Most men, by the time they’re 40, have piles of lousy little screwdriver sets, cheap plastic flashlights, ‘visor organizers’, and all that other junk that people insist on buying men when they don’t know what to get them.
My suggestion: Get him something of high quality. It doesn’t have to be expensive, depending on what it is. It just has to be an excellent example of its kind. A fine pocketknife, a really high quality small flashlight, etc. You could get him a mini screwdriver set, but if you do, get him the best available.
I’d rather get one good $25 screwdriver than a $25 plastic kit with 15 piece of junk screwdrivers in it.
What does he like? What are his hobbies? Does he work with his hands a lot? Does he work on his car?
Another thought - at his age, he’s probably starting to have trouble reading fine print or seeing small details. You mentioned he likes baseball cards - how about a large magnifying glass on a stand, or magnifying lenses with a head strap? There’s a bunch of examples on this page: Action Electronics Magnifiers.
I’ve posted this before–but it’s worth repeating. For us, most of the fun is opening presents, it doesn’t much matter what they are. We’ve all reached the age where we have most everything we want. If we really want it, we go buy it–no point in waiting to see if someone else will think of giving it to us. But…we like to open stuff. So we wrap up the most mundate, practical things. Batteries. Paper towels. Shop towels. Light bulbs. Windshield washer fluid. Motor oil. Cans of olives. A “make a pumpkin pie” kit with all the necessary ingredients. It’s silly–but they are things we know will be used. And it’s a lot of fun. Does your relative like olives? Give him a case. Does he complain about it being a nuisance to have to go to the pharmacist to get Sudafed? Buy him some. Is he a deer hunter–consider paying for his license. Etc. It works for our family.
I once printed up a certificate for my dad which was good for five hours of my time. This time could be spent running errands, helping with projects around the house, etc. - anything he wanted - and it was redeemable upon demand, so he knew he always had the help available anytime he wanted it. He was absolutely delighted with both the novelty and the usefulness of it. He passed away several years later having never redeemed it. I think he kept saving it for when he really needed it and he just never did.
Another time when I couldn’t think of what to give him, I just went to a store and started browsing around, thinking that sooner or later I’d spot something that would be good to give him. Sure enough, a leather jacket emblazoned with the insignia of his favorite college football team and in the team’s colors virtually jumped out at me as being perfect for him, so I bought it and gave it to him. It was clearly his favorite present that year, and he wore that jacket every fall for the rest of his life.
Surprisingly, I’ve found that this ‘going to the store and browsing for gifts’ philosophy has worked out wonderfully. If you really know the people you’re buying for, it’s easy to spot something that they’ll love, but which neither you nor they would ever have thought of otherwise.
Socks and underwear. (Tighty whiteys, and cotton gym socks, please.)
A bottle of Bushmill’s Single Malt Irish Whisky.
Have my car washed, and cleaned really well. You might change the oil too, while you are at it. (You can make me think you’re borrowing it if you want it to be a surprise, I’ll fall for that.)
I think that’s it.
Do not get me:
Anything you think I would really look good wearing.
A replacement for anything I already have which you think is too old, too worn out, or too whatever.
Anything that would help me improve my body, mind, attitude, or any other thing about me you find needing improvement.
Blind dates.
Tris
“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” ~ Anonymous ~
Chefguy, if you had a big box of them, you were collecting them! Now maybe you were collecting them for idiotic reasons, but you were a genuine “Sea Captain Statuette Collector” and perhaps even an afficianado!
Tickets - if he is into sports, get him tickets for some local major team game, or if he is into music, tickets for an upcoming concert of a group he used to like, or likes now. Or maybe a book of tickets to the local multiplex if he like movies. Everybody likes freebie tickets to something they like - and it is usually a “luxury” to buy tickets for yourself - so free tickets from the family is a good excuse to go out and have a good time.
My Dad’s eyes aren’t good enough to enjoy that. Well, he will always appreciate a hug from his son, I’m sure; but the strip club… I don’t think so. He does flirt up a storm with my wife, though it is, of course, all in good fun.
Dad’s getting some nice golf shirts for the summer (he doesn’t play, but he likes the shirts), some jazz CDs (he loves jazz), and probably a guarantee that the next time I’m in his city, I’ll take him out for martinis and steaks at his favourite restaurant.
Me, having passed the age of 45 and probably being qualified for “mature” status, would like the following:
– A jersey of one of my favourite sports teams. I’ve never had one.
– Thick and warm socks. I hate to sound old, but they are nice to wear in winter.
– A nice V-neck sweater I can wear a tie under. I don’t care if I look old. I am old!
– CDs: jazz, country, oldies from my youth.
– A new pipe. I love the ones I have, but you can never have too many. And they need to rest between smokes.
– A box of Fonseca Cosaco or Bolivar Royal Corona cigars from Cuba. I’m in Canada; Cuban cigars are legal. And my favourites. And horribly expensive.
– A bottle of American Bourbon whiskey: Maker’s Mark would be nice.
– A bottle of single-malt Scotch: The Balvenie or Inchmurrin or Dalwhinnie or Dunbhegan (sp?) would be nice.
– Books: My wife knows my tastes.
– More crossword puzzles. Sunday New York Times ones.
Another tactic that my mother taught me is to be on the lookout for gifts all year. You don’t have to go actively searching, or anything; just keep an eye out in case you see something they might like, then store it. This year, my dad actually was being easy for once- he dropped several very non-subtle hints about wanting a sweatshirt from my college.
My grandfather, however, is a lot more difficult. He can’t see well (books, magazines, etc are out, and he doesn’t like books on tape), his hearing’s not that great, and he’s not in great physical shape. He’s not going to be around that much longer, though, and we kind of want to make sure he enjoys as much as possible the time he has left, but we just don’t know what to give him to accomplish that (visits from his kids/grandkids already happen as often as possible).
The problem was that I didn’t understand what marrying someone from the midwest actually meant. If you showed the slightest interest in something, suddenly you were ‘collecting’ that item and every variation of it. I had purchased a small brass sea captain figurine when I was in Poland (I’m talking 4"). Next thing I know, I’m getting the damned things from everyone in my ex-wife’s family. Then, after the divorce, when I thought I was free, she ships them to me along with all the friggin’ mugs.
