I was lucky – my dad really loved ties. He actually wore them regularly, and was very happy to get new ones. So from the time I was a teenager, I got him nice ties, which he actually wanted.
In later years, the thing that I’ve found meant the most is, since I’ve lived far away since I’ve been an adult myself, a regular phone call. He’s gone now, but I still carry on the tradition with my mom, calling her every Saturday morning at 8:30 her time. We may talk other times during the week, but that Saturday morning call never fails to happen. Just the regular contact means more than any stuff I could send.
My sister, who lives close by, gives certificates for services – she’d take my dad out somewhere each week. Now she takes Mom to the grocery store each week. One year she also went through all the old family photos and put together nice scrapbooks. He got so much pleasure out of looking through all the old photos so beautifully arranged. It may not seem like a lot, but again it’s the kind of thing that has a lot more meaning than stuff.
<busily wraps up a 5-foot model of the U.S.S. Constitution to air-freight to Chefguy so he can position all of his little sea captain statuettes all over the deck>
I’ve done something similar. As a genealogist and the family historian, I have a lot of information that just begs to be bound. One year, I did a lot of research on my great grandfather, a Civil War veteran, then put together a book complete with photos. Another year I did a family tree chart for everyone, along with an accompanying book.
At age fifty three, I suppose that I would be considered mature. A bottle or two of red wine would do nicely. Look in the imported section under Spain and select any of the reds labeled Crianza…
I did this sappy thing for my mother in law, and later my father in law. Made a list of 52 things that either my husband liked, I liked or the kids liked about them. Simple things such as
“I like going to grandmas because she always has cookies.” " I remember my dad always lying on his back, picking me up with his feet." “I know I can always come to you for advice on financial stuff” Sentences of that nature. I printed them out, cut them into small strips, and put them in a jar. It made them get all misty and choked up. The idea was for them to pick one out once a week or so, but they looked at all of them right away. It was tough coming up with 52 things at first, but we did it.
We’re going to give Sirius radio to my father-in-law, because it has a decent number of classical music stations. He’s 90.
I’m well within the age range, and the problem with stuff is that you have so much of it. And so little time. Is there something he wants that is hard to find? What does he have time for, and what doesn’t he? DVDs are good. My biggest block of unspoken for time is my commute, so CDs work well, in that I have time to listen to them, and they don’t get onto a queue. (I’m still working on books from a couple of years ago.)
Oh, and little stuff is good. We work on the more packages is better principle, and we haven’t quite gotten to the wrap up each olive stage, but we’re close.
History Battles in Graphic Novels. [size=1]I just found out about these at a local comic book store and bought the lot of them ( 2, whew, I’m a big spender) for my FIL.
My FIL said “no DVDs this year.” I’m sure most of the family will ignore his request. But, since my husband asked what he wanted instead, we must now go on a quest for the elusive 2-pocket shirt.
I kind of like those sweaters with zippers. I’m so not into fasshion that I have no idea how long they’ve been around. But I think that crew neck sweaters are too hot and V necks are too dorky. So I’d be happy to throw out all of my old sweaters if someone would buy me new ones.
When’s the last time you had a good family portrait made? Dads of a certain age will go absolutely nuts over a decent portrait of their adult children and grandchildren. Or, if you’re all going to be together over the holidays, have a multi-generational family portrait made while you’re all together. Yeah, everyone has to get dressed up and go down to Target, but half the gift is the hassle (and the other half is the sentiment.)
One Christmas my wife had my car detailed. I loved that, too.
I confess that I, too, am a mature gentleman. And here’s my thoughts:
Whoever said good stuff was absolutely right. Especially good tools.
My own christmas list has a bunch of DVDs on it, especially from little tiny DVD places that handle out-of-the-way movies (“Ace in the Hole”, “Confessions of an Opium Eater”), or DVDs that I’d never spend money on but wouldn’t mind owning (Firefly TV series). It also has hobby supplies (you can never have enough Tamiya primer or Dullcoat spray clear lacquer), Glava Liqueur, and Cougar Gold cheese. My relatives all know I build model cars and that getting me a model, practically any model, is a sure thing.
I’m with your dad on this. I don’t really need anything. If I want something I buy it. I probably will get scalded for this, but most of the stuff I’m given for Christmas I wouldn’t buy for myself.
My Mom (who is of the Greatest Generation) has made it easy on Dear Old Dad. She doesn’t want anything she can’t wear or eat. So Dear Old Dad buys jewelry every year.
I wish he would make it as simple. Thank god there is always another tool to buy.
Oh, and it pisses me off royally to be included in this demographic, but my wish list is: anything electronic, a number of books/CD’s/DVD’s that I would have to specify, and some really big intangible things that no one could supply.
