I usually stick with hard liquor in moderate amounts. Bourbon is good, most vodkas are acceptable, and aged Ararat brandy is my favorite.
This is with some food; it takes about half for the same response on an empty stomach.
1-2 shots: buzzed. Pretty much same old me with slightly impaired reflexes and hand-eye coordination.
3-5 shots: approaching drunkenness. I lose a bit of common sense. However, my chess skills improve drastically from the booze. I’m not kidding - I’ve had several draws against FIDE masters while inebriated, whereas those same people wiped the board with me when I was sober.
6+ shots: developing a severe headache. If I had one to begin with, I get sleepy.
Yup, that’s me. I am outspoken sober so drunk my inhibitions drop like Clinton’s pants and I’ll tell you what I think of your clothes, car, and freakin electronic gadgets. Then I’ll go on and tell you what I think of your mother’s clothes, car and electronic gadgets… and if you haven’t busted me in the mouth by now I’ll tell you what I think of your mother’s mother’s clothes, car and electronics…
Yeah, I quit drinking in an effort to keep at least ONE friend.
I don’t get seriously drunk anymore, but I’ll have between 4 and 6 drinks once a week. If I’m drinking 'rita’s, I’m happy and chatty. If I’m drinking Champagne, I’m happy, much less chatty, and really want to listen to music. If I’m drinking beer, I get introspective, and then tend to get depressed if I keep at it.
Over the years I’ve come to realize that none of the thoughts I have while drinking are worth remembering once I’ve sobered up. Moveover, if I decide to share my thoughts with others, I’ll likely be embarrassed about it later on. Consequently, I never let myself have more than four drinks when I’m with other people, unless it’s my wife, who knows to throw out the utter bullshit I can come up with.
I once lived in a fraternity house with 12 other guys. This being college, and us being guys, we drank pretty much non-stop. All 12 of us were very different once drunk. I get more and more mellow, with a warm glow, and I become a huge flirt. We also had the maudlin drunks (“I love you, man…you’re just the greatest guy.”), the singer, the beligerant (he was big enough to back it up, but it still created problems), the loud-mouth (he just got louder and louder), and staggerer, just every possible variant.
A good friend of mine, who I met the very first day I was at college, and with whom I am still close, is known as “Chunks.” He, of course, was The Puker.
I’m pretty much the same when I drink. Maybe a little more mellow, with two exceptions. The bad: If I drink Gin, I lose my tolerance for people bothering me and don’t want anyone in my face. The good: If I drink a couple of glasses of wine, I get totally mushy and sentimental.
IIRC, these are the ten stages of drunkeness from Dan Jenkins’, Baja Oklahoma:
Witty and charming (part 1)
Rich and famous
Benevolent
Clarivoyant
Fuck Dinner
Patriotic
Crank up the Enola Gay
Witty and charming (part 2)
Invisible
Bulletproof
I stay Civilised. Philisophical sort-the-world-out discussions are common. But my sense of balance gives out before my thinking/vocal capacities. I can stay (I am told) coherent and non-slur-ry but have a hard time staying on my feet. I reserve getting that pissed for special occasions, whenever it will cause me the maximum embarassment
I used to go see a band call CBI - Concrete Invisible Bulletproof - supposedly describing stages of pissedness that never really made sense to me. What’s the origin of that list?
Bit of a funny old business really; for me, the state of Being sufficiently and pleasantly inebriated is a zero-width knife edge between feeling more or less normal and Feeling really ill, vomiting and going home - I can stay this side of the watershed and feel like another drink will just about do the trick, or I can have the drink and the evening is over.
I get really quiet when drinking. I’m afraid to slur and clam up and sit silently smiling after the first drink.
On the other hand, having around 3-4 drinks brings out my bi-sexual side. Luckily my quiet side protects me from making a fool of myself with other women…for the most part.
Well, usually people can’t tell I’m drunk until I’m at the extremely clumsy, knock-everyone’s-drinks-off-the-table drunk. Unless they know me well, when they can tell by the increasing squintiness of my eyes (my eyes go to little half-moon slits when I smile big, and when I’m drunk I get pretty smiley.)
Occasionally, I get ridiculously horny/flirty. No wait, I’m like that all the time. Never mind.
I smoke WAY more when I’m drunk. Normally, I’ll have 1 or two cigs a day. When drunk, 10 is more like it.
Also:
When I’m not drunk, I’m a bitch. When I am drunk, I’m a loud bitch.
Small Clanger, the list is from the novel, Baja Oklahoma by Dan Jenkins. It’s a story about the people that hang out in a small bar in Texas. The list is the stages of drunkeness of the other patrons, as observed by one of the characters. It’s a fun read, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
Happy - I love everyone and have this dopey grin plastered on my face.
Horny - way into physical contact, any kind.
Sleepy - slurred speech, half open eyes, lots of stumbling or walking into things.
Friday, I got to go through all stages thanks to a martini celebration of not getting fired. The extra-fun part was my eyes were still dilated from an eye doctor’s appointment. Is it normal for your eyes to take 8 hours to get back to regular dilation?
