What Unconventional (but still good) Advice Do You Have?

[bibliophage]

A penny saved is better than a penny earned. Income is taxed when you earn it and taxed again when you spend it. Money you save is tax-free.

Real estate agents will tell you that you should buy the most expensive house you can afford. Of course they do, they work on commission. Buying, owning, and selling any house comes with costs (lawyers’ fees, brokerage commissions, insurance, property taxes, heating, maintenance, cleaning, etc.), and the costs are generally higher the bigger and more expensive the house is. There are certain tax advantages to buying a more expensive house, but they’re not generally worth more than the added costs. I say that if you decide to buy rather than rent (which is not the no-brainer some people think it is), you should buy the cheapest house you can be happy in. Then put the money you save into productive assets (bonds, stocks, rental property, woodland, farmland, or a small business).

[GreenWyvern]

By acting bravely we become brave; not the other way round.

[DCnDC]

@Nava

Do you mean never cooked beans, in a bag rather than a jar or can? They aren’t dried, they’re the way they come out of the shell. Dry as in “not made wet”, not dried as in “they used to be wet”.

What difference does it make? You still have to cook them either way.

[WordMan]

When my daughter was a toddler, she had a tantrum about some small thing. When I tried to comfort her, she would have NONE of it and crossed her arms and turned her back on me in a kiddie-huff.

Without really thinking about it, I swooped in on her and said “but the Most Important Thing is Communication - because if we aren’t talking, we can’t work things out.” It was a practical statement - in other situations, I may have said Honesty, or Do Unto Others, or something.

In that instance, she thought about it, apparently agreed and we worked it out. But man, has that statement paid dividends. Each of us - my now-about-to-head-off-to-college daughter and I - have invoked this statement to each other in dark times when one of us is too emotional. I couldn’t count how many times we have nudged each other to working things because one of us used this line on the other.

[snowthx]

@IvoryTowerDenizen

From the woman who cared for my son when I went back to work after my maternity leave-

“[As a parent], you have to say no so often, say yes whenever you can”

It’s actually pretty good life advice- say yes to as much as you can.

A similar, but opposite, thought: “Always say no first. It’s much easier to say yes after a no, than a no after a yes.”

[Penfeather]

If they were going to do it, they would have done it already.

[carnut]

In young adulthood, I was belittling someone I was angry with and my companion broke in and said, “That’s too bad, he told me he thinks you’re great.” It stopped me in my tracks. I don’t believe it was true but it has taught me to hold my tongue on occasion.

Second one. I was teaching a coworker from India how to walk on ice without losing my balance. Because I grew up with winter, I had never actually thought about the process so I studied on what I was doing. Answer: Grip your shoes with your toes like you feel a sandal sliding off your foot and you are trying to keep it on. It worked like a charm.

[jtur88]

When work rears its ugly head, stand around and see if there is a workaholic eager to do it.

When work rears its ugly head, analyze the situation and see if it really needs to be done.

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all for themselves.

[j666]

People hate this one: treat rape like any other assault. Well, like any other gruesomely unpleasant assault.

Acknowledge that rape is a nasty violation, but avoid feeding into the view that it destroys a woman’s worth.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Nm- avoiding potential hijack

[DrForrester]

There is a difference between “excuses” and “reasons”. Always report the reasons. Excuses aren’t helpful to anyone.

It tightens the problem -> solution gap which prevents management from thinking too much.

[TruCelt]

Feeling sorry for people is not helpful. If they need a supportive ear to help them acknowledge the origins of a problem, great, be that person and love them through it. But then encourage them in the direction of taking responsibility for their own recovery and future. It doesn’t matter whose fault a problem is. If it’s your responsibility to fix it, then get on with the solution. Will Smith said it beautifully.

[Whiskey_Dickens]

Props to Maya Angelou:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I use this mantra all the time to convince myself to be pleasant and supportive in times which I would have otherwise been an asshole.

[eschereal]

@DrForrester

There is a difference between “excuses” and “reasons”. Always report the reasons. Excuses aren’t helpful to anyone.

It tightens the problem -> solution gap which prevents management from thinking too much.

I am not sure where I picked it up, but at one point I took to saying “excuses don’t pay the rent”. Just stop yammering and get on with what needs to be done.

[Crafter_Man]

When I first joined my company 21 years ago an older engineer told me the following:

I have seen many instances where an engineer provides an answer to a technical question even though they have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s due to their inflated ego; they’re afraid to admit they don’t know something, so they come up with a bullshit answer instead of admitting they don’t know the answer.

There will be many times throughout your career when someone asks you a question that you don’t know the answer to. When this happens, do not bullshit them. Instead tell them, “I don’t know the answer to your question. But I will find out.”

This advice has stuck with me all these years, and has served me very well. I would also assume it’s applicable to all professions, not just engineering.

[Velocity]

“Your worst humiliation is only someone else’s momentary amusement.” - read it in Reader’s Digest and has stuck with me ever since.

“Other people care about you far less than you care about yourself - at the same time, any behavior or quirks of yours that seem subtle to you, are obvious to those around you.”

[cochrane]

@Sir_T-Cups

I was wasting time on Pinterest the other day when I saw a pin which gave this advice:

“Do your job slowly, but convince everyone that’s exactly how long it takes.”

Didn’t Scotty say something similar to Geordi in Star Trek: The Next Generation?

(paraphrasing) “Always tell your captain that something will take twice as long as it actually will. That way you’ll have a reputation as a miracle worker.”

[Dung_Beetle]

@Velocity

“Your worst humiliation is only someone else’s momentary amusement.” - read it in Reader’s Digest and has stuck with me ever since.

That’s a good one for me to remember in the wee hours of the morning…

[Sir_T-Cups]

@DrForrester

There is a difference between “excuses” and “reasons”. Always report the reasons. Excuses aren’t helpful to anyone.

It tightens the problem -> solution gap which prevents management from thinking too much.

When I was younger I would get in trouble for lots of things and during the lecture/being yelled at they would ask me why the situation happened and then yell at me for them being excuses (to teach me responsibility).

I wish I knew the above back then and could tell them “It’s not an excuse, an excuse implies fault…a reason is just a statement of fact”

[Velocity]

@Sir_T-Cups

When I was younger I would get in trouble for lots of things and during the lecture/being yelled at they would ask me why the situation happened and then yell at me for them being excuses (to teach me responsibility).

I wish I knew the above back then and could tell them “It’s not an excuse, an excuse implies fault…a reason is just a statement of fact”

Yeah, there are organizations or situations where leadership truly could not tell the difference between an excuse and a reason. Very frustrating. Even pointing out legitimate reasons why Bad Things X, Y and Z happen are “excuses.”