What weird item(s) do you have in your wallet or purse?

My wallet has the standard crud - photo id, cash, credit cards, phone numbers for dozens of attractive women desperate to have sex with me, etc.

But I also have a ticket stub for a 3-day pass on the Prague metro. I keep it in there because I think it looks cool, and it reminds me of my trip to Europe (hey guys, I’d love to come back - could you continental dopers arrange to drop the Euro back down to $.96 USD, where it was when I visited in 2002? Thanks.)

So what weird stuff do y’all have?

In my casual everyday wallet I only have three flattened pennies from places I visited.
In my fancy wallet I carry a gray hair from an ex-BF and a bunch of cat wiskers.
Oh - and cutouts from magazines of pictures of members of The Grateful Dead.

I’ve got eight glow-in-the-dark eyeballs at the bottom of my purse. Gets me strange looks from cashiers. But they’re part of a grand scheme I have to drill holes in 'em and use them to mark a buoy on the river.

An Ancient Roman coin of the Emperor Claudius. It’s like my good luck item.

Oh, and I also have a KinderKid card from Kinder Care dated July 1989, when I was in first grade.

I have my Certifiably Insane official license and a sex token (y’know… like a game token you get at video arcades. It says SEX on one side and ~No Cash Value~ on the other… now if only I could find out where to redeem it…)

You can redeem it with anyone – the trick is finding the coin slot…

Oh my goodness; I carry tons of needless stuff in my wallet. Going through it, I find:

Driver’s License, Credit Cards, Insurance Cards, Blockbuster Card, etc.

OK, that’s the normal stuff.

On to the weird items:

A copy of my contact lens perscription.
A ticket stub from the Game 1 of the 2003 American League Championship series (I was at that game).
A receipt for jewelry I bought my wife back in 2000.
A NARA visitor card which expired in 2003.
A receipt for another piece of jewelry I bought for my wife in 2003.
A receipt for a CD-ROM burner I bought back in 2000 that I no longer have (it broke a few months ago with the help of one of my kids – in the circular file that goes).
A receipt (anyone see a pattern here?) from a resturant that I went to in the Old City of Jerusalem back in December 2001.
Two receipts of books that I bought in Borders at 5 World Trade Center in 2000.
A clipping from the New York Post on October 12, 2001 in which Richard Gere is quoted as saying that the best way to deal with terrorists is to love them and feel sorry for them. According to him they are “creating such horrible future lives for themselves because of the negativity of this karma.” :rolleyes: I keep that around as a reminder of how silly some people can be.
A business card from my friend’s eyeglasses business.
A piece of paper with information from an auto accident that I had back in 2000 (it’s probably safe to throw that one out).
A reciept from the scanner that I bought back in 2003.
A copy of my fat picture (I lost 95 pounds).
A small love note that my wife slipped into my wallet last November that I just found now…
A 20-shekel note. In case the messiah comes and I suddenly find myself in Israel, I’ve gotta have a way to make a phone call to my sister-in-law to have her pick us up.

Zev Steinhardt

I think my favorite weird thing I have in my wallet is my bus pass card. From when I was in the 5th grade. It’s signed by my old principle and reminds me that when I was 10, I rode Bus 6 (Purple Grape!) *

  • Each bus had a sign in the window. Bus 6 was purple grape, Bus 9 was black bat, and Bus 11 was brown dog. My god, how on earth do I remember this utterly useless stuff?

In my wallet, I’ve got a radiation detection badge from the computer version of the game “Ogre” released sometime in the mid 80’s… The little radiation indicators that supposedly actually worked have long since disintigrated, but the badge looks cool so I’ve hung onto it. Besides, you never know when being identified as a member of the Paneuropean 2033rd Armored Division might come in handy…

I think I may need some help with that :wink:

A lighter that looks like a tiny cell phone. What makes it especially weird is that I don’t smoke.

I compulsively clean my wallet out every time it starts to collect too much scrap paper but I do have a Greyhound bus credit card receipt in it from six months ago when I moved from home for the first time and half a dozen movie ticket stubs.

I keep a couple of folded slips of paper with humorous sayings, mostly gathered from the SDMB. When I go to my favorite bar, I am expected to write something funny on the blackboard. At first, I mined these from memory. Then I ran through a book of funny quotes. Today, I quoted from Shirley Ujest, beginning, “If yer fucked,…”

I’m down to one quote, now.

At least twice a month, somebody will see me scribbling on the board, and say, “So you’re the guy!”

I carry a Chowhound Passport–essentially a little slidey cardboard construction with a sentence in each of seven or so languages; e.g., the Chinese one translated to “I have a foreign face but a Chinese stomach.”

Nothing truly unusual in my wallet (unless you consider a Texas geophysics license a little rare), but I carry my keys on a little metal key thing my sister gave me years ago that, AFAICT, is meant to resemble a sperm cell.

I have half a dozen fortunes in my wallet. I always stuff them in there after smashing my fortune cookies at Chinese restaurants.

I also have four different cards for coffee shops in town - the kind that they stamp when you buy a coffee, and your 10th one is free. But I keep forgetting they’re in there, so I don’t think I’ve added any stamps in 6 months. They’re probably not even valid anymore!

I have a tiny pamphlet which is no longer legible, because it has several pressed flowers in it. There is one from Czechoslovakia, that was the first one, and then a few more from the other countries I visited at about that time (1991). Yeah, they’re old flowers.

An ancient Peanuts comic–and I hate Peanuts, mind you–with Charlie Brown lying in bed thinking, ‘Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder, “Why am I here?” … And then a voice answers, “Why? Where do you want to be?”’

The receipt from turning in my master’s thesis.

A fake tattoo of Max the Bunny.

The usual driver’s license, credit cards, insurance cards, and grocery store discount cards…and:

[li]a tip table[/li][li]my User Friendly charter member card[/li][li]my Reader’s Digest organ donor card (signed on August 29, 1988)[/li][li]one of my old business cards with my uncle’s address on the back of it (for reference when I take a cab from the airport)[/li][li]various bits from the American Red Cross: a pocket first aid guide, my first aid and CPR cards, and my Introduction to Disaster Services certification[/li][li]my FCC license (issued on October 13, 1989)[/li][li]a free pass to the local YMCA, good for 7 consecutive days; I got it yesterday, and will start using it any day now…[/li][/ul]

Two grape Tootsie Pops and a small plastic caterpillar.

A Joker card. I don’t know if it’s done in the US, but over here, people sometimes say “joker” when they don’t want to answer a question. So, instead of saying it, I actually show the card.