What Will Happen in 2012?

[panache45]

On June 5-6, Venus will pass between the sun and the earth, for the last time until 2117. I will photograph it from somewhere in the Pacific.

I will turn 67. My partner will turn 47. We will celebrate our 25th anniversary.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

What will happen in 2012? I dunno, but I absolve myself of all responsibility when it does. I told them it was only a matter of time until the super intelligent spiders got out the cages and into the armory.

[Dallas_Jones]

@freckafree

All this alarmist crap about 2012 is such utter nonsense. Everyone knows we will all have been sucked into a black hole generated by the Large Hadron Collider before then.

Interesting historical/scientific note: Hadron is one of those few words, like Favre, where the R should be pronounced before the preceding consonant.

[Shagnasty]

@Curtis LeMay

And all those things have been happening since long ago. One of the worst excuses of 2012ists (as I call them) is that since 9-11 happened or Katrina happened or the stock market is falling the end is near despite the fact that such similar events have been happening since the beginning of modern times.

I assume you know that I was doing a version of Cold Reading although a primitive one. Everything I listed happens every single year but some people pick up on it as some type of sign. That was the point.

[gonzomax]

A bunch of Myans will look at the crazies waiting to die and call them assholes and ask them what the hell is wrong with them.

[chappachula]

a new disaster movie will be released, called 2014

[Grrr]

A basement dwelling Star trek nerd will get laid by a super model hottie causing some sort of paradoxial anomaly that results with the world imploding in on itself.

[luv2draw]

I’ll be able to collect Social Security–IF the concept still exists…

[drachillix]

@Sloane_Cabot

The 49ers will be doing a lot better than they are this year.

I am still undecided as to whether the Mayans are going to be friendly or act like assholes. Annoying assholes who call you on your cellphone at all times of the night.

Are we talking about Sons of Anarchy?

[TWDuke]

@groo

You’re going to take a walk in the rain and you’re going to get wet.

You’re going to eat a bowl of chow mein and be hungry real soon.

[Rigamarole]

Fairly similar things to what will happen in 2011 and 2013.

[BigBertha]

Calendar companies will lose lots of sales. heh.

[GuanoLad]

Jesus will return, just two days too late.

[Patty_O_Furniture]

@Shagnasty

2012 is going to be BAD I promise you.

1. Countless innocent children are going to drop dead from preventable diseases world-wide. A few might even get kidnapped by bad people.

2. Some celebrities are going to drop dead through unexpected tragedy shocking the general public.

3. There will be water shortages in some major cities that will have to be addressed right away.

4. A number of wars and conflicts are going to break out all over the world.

5. Morality is going to be thrown out the window. Political leaders and maybe even people you know personally will become caught up of acts of selfishness and hedonism.

I am not liking the way this is shaping up so far…not one bit.

And when all of these things have happened, Sylvia Browne will appear on Larry King to say “I told you so”.

[Chefguy]

@Shagnasty

I assume you know that I was doing a version of Cold Reading although a primitive one. Everything I listed happens every single year but some people pick up on it as some type of sign. That was the point.

Don’t you hate it when you have to explain a joke?

[Mtgman]

A better question would be, what’s going to happen October 13, 4772? That’s when the Mayan Calendar rolls over to a new piktun, and we need to add a new digit to all the dates. Since the hardware for Mayan calendars has been out of support for quite some time, odds are it won’t be patched. We’re talking about some serious conflicts between existing space allocated for dates and the space needed. In some cases it won’t be possible to add the extra symbols and stuff an order you place on October 13, 4772 might be interpreted as needing to be filled on August 11, 3114 BCE! Mass hysteria!

Or the same thing that happened on every other known date that a b’ak’tun rolled over(this isn’t the end of the Mayan calendar, it’s just the start of a new high-order date range, bigger than a century, but much smaller than a millennium). Nothing. Check your history books and let me know what’s special about these dates.

June 3, 354 BCE
September 5, 41 CE
December 9, 435
March 13, 830
June 15, 1224
September 18, 1618

All of them corresponded to the start of a new b’ak’tun.

Enjoy,
Steven

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

The little-known Y2K12 bug will cause software developers everywhere to panic and hire thousands of extra code monkeys to create workarounds, greatly overestimating the fraction of their installed user bases who observe the Mayan calendar.

You will nontheless enjoy being employed again, however briefly, especially 'cause that means your unemployment benefits eligibility resets.

[Amber_in_Treasury]

I’m not American, but considering the US have such a big impact on world politics, I get slightly worried when people mention Palin/Jindal (aka Dingbat/Exorcist aka Moose Stew/Pea Soup).

As for (other) doom predictions, I don’t believe in those.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

I wouldn’t worry too much about Jindal. The exorcism thing was a while back and he is a pretty effective problem-solver.

Plus, when you really think about it, participating in exorcisms is no more crazy than going to church every Sunday, and lots of our presidents have done that.