I, too am in mourning clothes. I, too, and giving short shrift to the media. I do not need the media’s orgy of breast beating and anguish to remember this day. I hurt quite enough as it is, already.
I was going to avoid the media frenzy. (Heck, I was going to avoid the internet, but I can’t resist the siren song…) But when I got in my car this morning, the radio was on, and Z100 was broadcasting Guiliani reading the names. I was unexpectedly hit hard, and on the way to work, I listened, and cried.
I was at the WTC about 2 weeks before. Three of the victims were 2 steps removed from me. (A friend’s uncle. My sister’s friend’s father. My fiancee’s dean’s wife.) And one I knew personally from college. I don’t think a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about it, but I haven’t cried since the day of. My commute was only long enough to hear 2 of the names (both in the "A"s), but each one hit me hard.
Life goes on, I suppose. (For us lucky ones.) I was silent for the moment of silence at work. I’m wearing a black shirt. And my Wednesday night gaming session is cancelled. (No one was really in the mood for it.) But I’m at work, and (mostly) working.
I kinda like the idea of being ostentatiously American tonight. I might go to the mall or something. (Last year I was in France, and somehow eating at McDonalds comforted me.) But no vigils, thanks, and no TV coverage. I might just call my family to tell them I love them.
I’m more grieved today than I expected. I too wore black, and I went to a noon memorial service at the Westlake Center here in Seattle – heard the governor speak and a few songs get sung. Then some news anchor who was there started to recount the day, from an eye-witness perspective, and I thought “I don’t need to hear all this again. I know what happened.” So I went back to work.
But I feel like I have a bruise on my heart. I wish this day was over.
Well I wrote an OP over in MPSIMS that kind of summed up my feelings then and now. That was 3:00 AM or so, so I hit the sack and got up bright and bushy at 7:45 AM to rush out the door and make it to work at 8:00 on the spot. Did the moment of silence thing at quarter till nine. Got home from work about 4:00 PM, called the girlfriend, hung a flag on my mailbox (first flag I’ve every hung actually) and took a nap.
Got up at 6:00 PM to head to class where the professor, a kind sarcastic bastard, led a short talk on 9-11 since he felt that he couldn’t let his one class of the day pass without saying something. He specifically didn’t want to refer to it as “That Tragic Event” and he, and the class, seemed to feel that not too much has really changed here in the U.S. since last year. I disagree but it was all done in good taste so it’s all good.
Got home around 10:00 PM, watched the special on CBS about the documentarians who wound up recording a bit more than they probably hoped for. Turned that off and hopped on the Dope, looked up the “Holy Fucking Shit” issue of The Onion and in a few minutes I’m going to get offline, do some studying and hit the sack to get up for class bright and early tomorrow.
Just doing the normal day thing seemed appropriate, with some small stuff done for remembrance.
Well, I’m from Aussieland, and due to work I couldn’t get to a computer to post this until now 
here goes… I wrote this at about 9.30am on 9/11
9/11
I sit here
Remembering
Shock, Disbelief
Fear
On that fateful
day a year ago
I sit here
Trying to imagine
The feelings
Of people
On that fateful
day a year ago
My heart is heavy
A tear glimmers
In the corner of my eye
Remembering the people
On that fateful
day a year ago
My sympathies and
Prayers go out to
Those affected
On that fateful
day a year ago.
Lee Jamieson
11 September 2002
I do hope noone minds me putting it here instead of MPSIMS
Lee