Is Hamley’s still there? The last time we were in London, way too long ago, we enjoyed it. And you will understand the great scene in Hogfather much better.
And did someone mention the British Museum? 
That’s a fair point, but in my limited time there, I wanted the “native” grub (though, as David Olusoga, even fish and chips are imports from Portugal and Peru, respectively). I popped into a South Bank eatery between the Tower and the Globe on my first day there. Top of the menu: Tex-Mex. I feigned indignation, teasing the attendant that I didn’t come to London to have a burrito. She opined that they also had meat pies, and that’s what I ate. Very nice.
The British Museum is huge, you really need a few days in there to do it justice.
However, a few years ago the then director of the museum did a series of talks on the BBC called ‘The History of the World in a 100 Objects’. They are each about 15 minutes long. These are available as podcasts here:
One way to enjoy the your visit is to download them onto your smartphone and go looking for objects that interest you in the museum. It is a very random selection.
Most tourists get tired after walking around the Ancient Egypt gallery.
Like most museums and galleries in London entry is free, except for special exhibitions.
London is not really the place for Fish and Chips. Visit Brighton on the south coast for that.
Better to seek out a Sunday roast in a pub by the river.
I was there last June (spent time there a number of times), and would spend the weekend doing what I did over that weekend.
Westminister
National Gallery
Soho for dinner and drinks
old royal navy college , great art there but not well known. It is in Greenwich
I was lookin’ for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s. Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein.
Poppies Fish and Chips is excellent, their location in Soho is at the old Three I’s coffee bar, an important icon in the history of skiffle.
Ah there’s plenty of great fish and chips places in London. The original Poppies is near Old Billingsgate Market and is decorated wondrously.
If you’re visiting before Christmas I can also recommend Winter Wonderland. It’s a massive, garish, noisy and overpriced theme park that takes over most of Hyde Park. But it’s free to get in, and you can visit one of the many many bars and enjoy the madness. Avoid the weekends of course.
It isn’t there anymore. I checked. 
Trader Vic’s is, although they don’t list a piña colada on their cocktail menu. I’m sure they could whip one up, though.
I have to stop in at Forbidden Planet every time I’m in London. I’m not even that much of a comic book guy, but to an '80s-era nerd, the idea of a store of that size devoted to comic books and sci-fi stuff is just really mind-blowing.
Poppies is quite a curious place. It is decked out in a nostalgic English 1940s retro style, but it is all pretty fake. Like most places in tourist London the staff are from every country BUT the UK. The very senior owner is a Londoner and chasing the tourist dollar, he plays the ‘authentic/traditional’ card very well but there is clearly a professional interior designer at work in the background. There have been a few attempts to create Fish and Chip shop chains, Harry Ramsdens comes to mind, but not in tourist areas, the rents are too high. Best of luck to Poppies in Soho.
Tourists in London tend to get a bit bemused after a while that they never get to meet anyone who is actually British during their stay. Apart from having a conversation with the back of London cab drivers neck about how evil Uber is trying to steal their livelihood.
The vernacular Fish and Chip shops in London have long since been eclipsed by a cornucopia of other casual dining opportunities. There are places in the UK, where they still thrive, usually off the beaten tourist track and the locals have their favourites. You need competition to get quality and there are never enough chippies in the same area for that to happen in London. It is really a seaside thing.
London is a very popular tourist city and during the summer months the centre is quite overloaded with visitors. If you want to try British food, then you might try an Indian restaurant and have a curry, that is the nations favourite.
They do, sort of. It’s called the Chi Chi. It substitutes vodka for rum and adds “a hint of orange”. As you said, they’d be able to make the orthodox version easily.
Cocktail tip: Rev J W Simpson. It’s a small underground cocktail bar in Fitzrovia. The basement used to operate as a brothel and they haven’t changed much of the decor. You might need to book ahead but the staff really know their alcohol. Another place where the staff are passionate and knowledgeable is Black Rock near Moorgate. They’ve got an incredible whiskey selection downstairs. I doubt it’s the largest (although it must be right up there) but it’s probably the most varied and they do whiskey tasting where you choose from the cupboards where the whiskeys are positioned by taste and type. The friendly staff will help you to choose so you can describe what you’re after and will recommend and describe as required. You might be able to walk in here.
Finally, for gin you might want to try Mr Foggs Gin Emporium. Again, you’ll need to book. It’s a beautifully decorated location and they sell more than just gin. It’s right above Mr Fogg’s Tavern near Leicester Square. There are many others especially around Soho.
I do recall, some years ago, a national survey to determine the nation’s favourite British dish, the winner was chicken tikka masala.
That’s what we think of as British cooking now… OK, chip shops are far from rare, we have 3 in the small town I live in now, but what’s authentic local food, what you’ve read about as being British, or what the locals actually eat? I’ve certainly never eaten jellied eel. I’m not sure if I’ve even seen them for sale.
It does get a bit annoying, when British cooking gets used as a punchline for a joke, but what they’re considering to be British food is the pre (and immediately post) war stodge where the budget and ingredients were severely limited and the main criteria was simply getting calories in. It was never going to taste good. Now we have money and access to ingredients from all over the world, but it doesn’t count 'cos it’s not ‘British food’ 
Though pies can be pretty good. Even butter pies, which sound like something you’d buy at a state fair, but are actually potato based. You might need to go up North for them though.
Some years ago, I arrived in London early in the morning and my hotel wouldn’t let me check into my room until the afternoon (although they did let me change from my grubby overnight flight clothes in the ladies’ room and leave my suitcase at the desk). Since I had made a reservation for tea at the British Museum restaurant for 3:30, and was too tired to wander around the city otherwise, I went straight over to the museum when it opened for the day, got breakfast there, and spent all day until tea-time. I used one of those little folding campstools they give you, and moved from one big glass cabinet or display to the next, sitting and looking at all the little items and reading the cards. But I haven’t been back to the museum since.
Men united in service to The Emperor are blessed in His sight and shall live forever in His memory!
I met plenty of Brits at the various Games Workshop stores (like GW Hammersmith, wherein is contained the entire Ultramarines chapter) I visited while I was there, but yeah… all the waitstaff at every restaurant were continentals.
I was literally walking through the streets of Soho in the rain when I looked up and saw the sign. There was even a picture of Zevon in the window. I ate there, but didn’t have the beef chow mein. The food was just OK, but I still have the matchbook.
[ul]
[/ul]Hmm… been to the UK three times, with one of those being a study-abroad where I visited London twice.
Here’s what I’d still like to do:[ul]
[li]See St. Paul’s Cathedral (have been by there 3 times; either it was not open or was in the midst of services all three times)[/li][li]Victoria and Albert Museum[/li][li]National Gallery[/li][li]Globe Theater[/li][li]Tate Modern[/li][li]Buckingham Palace[/li][/ul]
Here’s what I’ve done so far:
[ul]
[li]British Museum (all three trips) Far and away the most amazing museum I’ve been to.[/li][li]HMS Belfast If you like museum ships or naval stuff, this is a great visit.[/li][li]Imperial War Museum - if you like military stuff, this is a must-see.[/li][li]British Army Museum - surprisingly interesting.[/li][li]Royal Museums Greenwich - Royal Observatory, National Maritime Museum, Cutty Sark. Loved them![/li][li]Tower of London - must see, especially with the Yeoman Warder tour.[/li][li]Westminster Abbey (all 3 trips) Must see.[/li][li]Palace of Westminster(Parliament) Really cool with a guided tour. If you can make it happen, do so.[/li][li]Shows in the West End. (2 of 3 trips) Very well done- I recommend it.[/li][/ul]
Deplorable racism.
The theatres in London are great for shows, but many of them are very charming and at least a hundred years old, but they have no air conditioning.
The cheap seats at the top of the building are economical for a reason, on a warm day, with full house, it can get unbearably hot. You will melt.
The theatres on the South Bank are much more up to date.
Some theatres do backstage tours. The Theatre Royal on Drury Lane is very enjoyable, you are led around by actors in character.