The setup: You are asked to be the running mate of a major-party candidate for President of the United States of America. You accept, and much to what I assume is your disappointment and surprise, you win.
You now get to spend four years as Vice President of the United States of America. What do you do with your time?
Me, I think I would show up at the Senate and just sit there during hours when the Senate’s president pro tem isn’t there. I know they don’t want me there, but I’d say, “I have nothing better to do, so I’ll just watch how you [del]young people[/del] Senators waste time.” I might bring a notebook and doodle in it.
I wonder if I could bring a device and liveblog them.
hookers n blow?
Spend all my time wheeling and dealing and schmoozing the members of the U.S. Senate with the object of creating as many tie votes as possible.
“Now, Senator Binks, how can you vote against the Puppies Act? Puppies are cute! Everyone loves puppies!”
“Now, Senator Bedfellow, I love puppies as much as the next guy, but I’ve heard that some of those puppies are pit bull puppies. From China.”
A quick highjack: how does it work when there’s a tie, but the Veep is, say, over in his quarters? Do they give him an hour to get his butt over to the Senate?
Anyway, if I were Veep, I’d spend a lot of time playing with the telescopes at the Naval Observatory!
Actually call the President every morning at 6am and ask if he is still alive. Demand to speak with him personally and use a secret code word to verify that I am really speaking to the President.
Preside over the Senate at all times. Demand attendance by having the sergeant at arms arrest all absent members. Even if 99 are there, the absent 1 gets arrested. Order spittoons installed at every desk and in the galleries. Wear a powdered wig.
The way the modern Senate works, such a vote on passage of a bill doesn’t just happen out of the blue. The leaders and whips know the count and the trend and the process gives time for the VP to get back to DC and be on call. And what with the cloture rule (60 members to move it) if it’s such a close call it may not ever be brought to a vote.
Biden has yet to break a tie in almost 7 years; Cheney did 8, Gore 4, Quayle none, GHWBush 7 and Mondale 1.
The requirement that members of Congress (including the VP) must be physically present to vote seems archaic and obsolescent in these modern wired times. Why can’t physically absent senators (and VP if necessary) vote remotely these days? (I’m presuming that protocols could be developed to deal with technical security matters, like verifying that the person casting the tele-vote is actually the person he says he is.)
I think it’s intended that part of the process be that Senators are supposed to debate and discuss the issues as well as vote on them. If Senators could vote remotely, there would be a temptation to simply ignore everything that’s being said and then sign in just to vote.
Travel! Go to as many different places as possible. Both inside the US and outside. Looking, learning, and building contacts.
Kind of sick/selfish, but first order of business: I’d have the President assassinated.
If that fails…
Lots, and lots.
Make a law stating that the next 100 new TV shows CAN NOT be based on a movie. Call it the Original Thought Amendment. 
Granny had a problem being Vice president, but Jed fixed it:
Absolutely. A Vice President needs some vices. :eek:
I’d be like John Adams and preside over the Senate personally every day, giving them unwanted explanations of every vote they are about to take and restating the pros and cons of each side. I’d also chuckle and snort derisively every time Ted Cruz opened his mouth.
I’d finally have time to check out Minecraft.
Yeah, CNN would speculate over the meaning of the VP’s frequent trips to Columbia, congratulating my efforts when war failed to erupt in the region.
Read a few books, attend a few funerals, do SNL a few times, learn the banjo, learn to fly Air Force 1, adopt the motto “Tie my ass! Tell them to vote again until somebody wins or I’ll post pictures of them kissing their sister…ON THE LIPS!”
Graft and troublemaking. Some mild demagoguery and rabble-rousing.
'Probably hanging out at the Library of Congress a lot, reading and watching stuff that’s been long out of print, too.