In parts of the Pacific Northwest it’s actually illegal to shoot or harm Bigfoot.
I’d roll my eyes and call the woman that owns the local Bigfoot museum and ask her to tell her kid to cut it out. It isn’t like tourists are wandering around in the woods off the trails anyway.
No, if he got it to fuck him he would have DNA coming out the wazoo.
Bigfeet?
MMMMM! Them’s good eatn’!
I’d shoot it with my ray-gun. Settle the debate over the existence of Bigfoot and ray-guns.
Say what? Cite-ski pleeze? Not that I ever would shoot one if I could avoid it. If they are anywhere near what has been described they are likely to be at least as intelligent as your average human.
All this is purely theoretical anyway. Any critter that lives in the wild has a few universal requirements. Like finding food, shelter, and eventually a mate. For that the critter absolutely needs to move around.
You can’t browse only in the deep woods; you have to go where the clover is. You can’t catch prey from a hole in the ground; you have to go where the prey is. And you can’t woo big feet-ettes from a cave; you’ve got to go find one. Then you would probably have to beat up some other bigfoot. I imagine a pair of 7 ft tall, 650 lb bigfeet having a donneybrook would make quite a racket. Hell, I’d pay good money… well, never mind.
And one pesky other detail, for a boy critter to find a girl critter you need a certain minimum population density or the odds go down to around zero. If there were bigfeets even so much as one every 100 miles they would be found by now. Every single time I go for a walkabout I find sign of bear, big cat, elk, deer, people and more people, coyote, hawk, owl, mice, rabbit, snake, etc etfreakincetera. No bigfoot. It’s a story folks.
But it does make for a fun story. So what the hell, have fun with it.