I’d buy Straight Dope and ban putting “h” in “wacko”!
Create a “Go Fund Me” name that’s anonymous (Anon. E. Mouse) and just go through random people and give them, like, a million bucks.
Don’t care what it is, who it is or anything…just click and click and click
- Buy the SF Giants.
- Fire everybody.
- Tear down the stadium.
- Salt the earth where it stood.
If it’s really a contest, then the banee wouldn’t be random. [sub]Damn, I just put my name at the top of the list, didn’t I?[/sub]
What would I do if I won $10 billion? Smile. A lot.
I was thinking just placing usernames in a hat and pulling one. But I now have one week where I already know the “random” user 
I would like to use a good-sized hunk of it toward ecological concerns, making sure to fund programs that are results-driven and would alleviate current issues while building the foundations for future sustainability. I don’t want to fund studies or committees, I want to fund a boots on the ground group . I don’t want to run this group, but I do want strong powers of oversight.
I would set aside $500 million in a relatively liquid fund that I could use to react swiftly and anonymously to aid various individuals and small-scale groups.
I would buy an ocean going sailboat and hire a crew to sail leisurely around the world, stopping as long as I wish at any interesting port of call, taking inland trips as desired. I would bring my two sons, their wives, and my two grandchildren. I would bring along a tutor to help us learn the languages and learn about the history and culture of the countries we would visit.
Upon our return, I would sell the boat and purchase a secluded place on the water somewhere and write the book I have always wanted to write.
I’d retire.
And buy a decent house close to my family. Kind of large, since I like possessions, but not stupidly so, because I live alone.
Hire somebody to maintain the yard, and somebody to clean the bathrooms.
I’d set up a nice TV room, with enough seats for, like, six people to sit comfortably.
I’d dump the rest in a simple interest-earning savings account (of a bank I REALLY like, probably ICCU), and set it up to transfer, say, $2000 a month into my checking account for expenses, frivolous and otherwise.
I’d then try to forget that I have the rest of the money, so it doesn’t make me stupid. (I have some practice at this - my savings is currently composted of an account I divert money into without looking at it, so I’m not tempted to spend it frivolously.) I would still use it for emergencies, though, and fix and to replace cars and water heaters and such as necessary.
I’d buy the same sort of things I do now on a five-digit salary.
With my new free time I would catch up on my many, many frivolous hobbies, I would probably exercise a little more, and also maybe even get into some sort of therapy to help me not suck so much as a human being. (Or not think I do, in the unlikely event my low self esteem is unwarranted. Which is probably unlikely - you don’t see me donating to charities here, do you? I’m clearly a jerk.)
Speaking of not giving it away, from the very start I would have told as few people as possible I got this money, just close friends and family - and to them I would have lied about how much I’d gotten. I’d tell them I had a few million or whatever I thought I could say to plausibly explain my new lifestyle. I would break out surprise money in case of any emergencies anyone had, but I wouldn’t want them to start hounding me for large random gifts lest it ruin our relationships. (It’s probably worth noting that nobody I know is in dire straits.)
And then, when I was old(er), I would get struck with some malady and lose it all to medical bills because america’s health care is bullshit.
Hang on, I’m doing the math…
20,000 chicks at once. That’s what I’d do if I had 10 billion dollars. Fuckin’ A, man.
Not all chicks dig a man with money.
He only needs 20,000 that do.
10 billion isn’t money, it’s power. And that is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Not all, but still far more than dig poor men.
Same as always. Bring back Firefly.
Put a major league law firm on retainer. Finance a think tank and an angel investment firm.
So if you had $10 billion, you’d start a chicken farm? You must be a very contented person, to have such humble objectives!
[QUOTE=manson1972]
Not all chicks dig a man with money.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, but the correct response is "The kind that would double, uhhh, triple, hmmmm, 20,000 up on on guy like Whiskey Dickens do.
All the disposable ones do
I’d remake Condorman.
I’m with you. I’d give most of it away. My dream, such as it is, is to open several businesses that act substantially as nonprofits that I can fund until they become self-sustaining, that hire only people who are “down on their luck”. The jobs might not necessarily be jobs that people dream of, but since a profit wouldn’t be required and I would realize none of them anyway I could make those jobs much more lucrative for the people who take them, and hopefully that would be the rising tide that raises other wages, at least locally.
I don’t think I would have the heart to spend the annualized simple interest on a billion dollars, so the rest can go to this endeavor.
Since I wouldn’t have to work anymore, I’d buy a nice RV and just tour around all the time. And the vast majority would go to support basic needs like kids knowing where their next meal is coming from.
ETA: I would need to hire a driver for the RV – those things are BIG!
The vast majority might go towards gas for your RV!