What Would You Do? -- Strange Encounter

In My Humble Opinion
1

My morning got off to a rather weird start this morning, and I was wondering on how you would have reacted and how you’d handle it.

While walking from the bus stop to the office this morning, I decided to stop into a local McDonald’s. I had a book in my hand, but I was looking around rather vaguely to make sure I didn’t run into anything. A man who looked to be in his 60’s but full of life caught my eye and said broadly “Hello!” I kept my eyes moving, ignoring him, went to stand in line, and went back to my book (Mrs. Pollifax was in the process of escaping from the clutches of the villains). I was aware of someone who seemed like they were going to move across the line in front of me. When the person did so, it was that same man who’d said hello earlier. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he stopped in front of me so I had to make eye contact and said something – about a 5 or 6 word sentence. I said “Sir, I don’t want to speak to you,” in a rather loud, fed up tone, and walked out. I was somewhat creeped out and not all that hungry. When I thought about it, I realized that I’m pretty sure this is the same man who, a few months ago, made a point of catching my eye and saying hello while I was walking down the street.

Now, I know this all sounds kind of petty, but when he was saying hello a few months ago, I didn’t see him doing so to anyone else. He could still be just a nice, friendly guy, but I feel like he’s trying to force me to pay attention to him. I’ve also had some problems with gentlemen over 60 not behaving like gentlemen in the past (ironically, while working at a McDonalds, among other instances), so there’s not a lot of trust to draw on.

Ladies, what would you do, and would you be disconcerted by this? Gentlemen, can you explain what he’s thinking? For that matter can anyone explain. If I’m paranoid, tell me so, and I’ll find a way to get over it. I don’t think he’s going to attack me, FWIW.

Just a couple of facts to allow for, I work right in the middle of a good-sized city, so there are quite a few homeless/oddball types around. They don’t bother me. Heck, there’s a saxophonist I’ll regularly give a dollar to. I’m also female, mid-30’s.

Thanks for your input,
CJ

2

You should just say “Hello” back to him. Just being female doesn’t excuse being rude.

3

I don’t see where she was being rude there. There’s no reason that you HAVE to speak to someone you don’t know - lots of people feel very nervous about being in public, much less speaking to strange persons in public.

Rude would have been telling him to bugger off in so many words. She was being abruptly truthful.

cjhoworth, for the record I would probably have said hi back… but I tend to be a bit extroverted in public like that. I probably would have ended up hearing about his grandkids or something. Maybe he’s lonely; maybe you remind him of his daughter or his dead wife… maybe this is all a bunch of supposition :wink:

4

To make a point of trying to converse on two occassions months apart sounds to me like he might think he knows and/or recognises you. I agree (if it matters): the polite thing to do would have been to at least establish what he wants before jumping to unsavory conclusions and holding them against him.

After all, maybe you just aren’t recognising him.

5

What ratatoskK said.

However, if this had happened in the parking lot and he was near your car or something, that’d be a different story entirely.

6

Part of me wants very badly to agree with what you folks are saying, but I’ve got unpleasant history getting in the way.

To give one example, there was a security guard in his 50’s or 60’s who worked in the building I worked in and ran the elevator after standard office hours. Since I worked until 7:30 at least once a week, I got to know him well enough to exchange a few comments about the weather, ask about his family, etc. One evening, I was leaving as he was coming into work, so I asked how he was, when he grabbed hold of my shoulder, pulled me toward him, and kissed me on the cheek! Result: freaked out CJ! I checked with a good friend of mine who was working as a security guard at the time, and he told me this was highly unusual. There’s also an incident which happened when I was 16 with a man in his 60’s which I will not go into here.
What bothered me a few months ago is I noticed this fellow wasn’t walking along saying hello to everyone. I was the only person he was doing it to. Yesterday morning, he got up, to the front of the store, and stood in front of me. What he said was something along the lines of “How you doing?” I got the impression he was trying to get my specific attention (as opposed to being generally friendly) or make my acquaintance, not that he recognized me from somewhere. Still, perhaps if he tries again, I will ask him if he thinks he knows me.

OK, in all fairness, thinking about the incidents I’ve mentioned and the ones I haven’t, my outgoing nature led to me being casual acquaintances with all the men in question (about a half dozen incidents/men), so perhaps I am overreacting. Then again, my reaction could be a defense against this happening. Feh, I’ll admit to a few issues here, maybe even a full subscription, so I’ll take it up with therapist.

By the way, 2 more questions: [ul][li]If the man I’ve described was in his 20’s or 30’s, would that make a difference? [/li][/*]In response to WV_Woman’s statement, why would or would it make a difference if he were near my car? The incidents happened a little after 7:00 am when there aren’t a lot of people around downtown. [/ul]

Thanks for the input, and I’ll try to look at this in the best possible light.
CJ