What would you do with this (prospective) eBay customer?

The BBQ Pit
1

I nearly posted this in IMHO, but it is kind of a rant (albeit mild as usual)

Extract from email conversations:

Question from Potential Buyer: Will you post to Denmark? (on an item that is listed as available to UK only)

Mangetout:*(against his better judgment)*Yes, I suppose I could do that; I’d send it airmail - for shipping, I’d charge you postage and packing materials strictly at cost - I can’t give you a figure on this, as I’d have to pack it up (specifically for airmail) and weigh it.

P.B: Can you tell me the cost for shipping? Do you want to sell it outside of ebay?

Mangetout:(wishing he had just said ‘no’, packs the item for airmail, weighs it…) Packing and shipping to Denmark would cost £2.20 for this item (so the total cost would be £4.19) and I would sell through eBay only.

P.B: Could you call it £4.00?

I mean, the fucking barefaced cheek!

I haven’t replied to the last question, I’m not sure that I will.

2

Oh, and I forgot that for some reason, he sent me 16 copies of the email message asking if I would drop the price.

3

Tell him each time he asks another fool question you’re doubling the shipping and handling cost, due to the excessive “handling” he seems to require.

4

lol how about reply,
“nah id much rather mark it upto £5 for my convenience”

5

I hate it when they do that. I wouldn’t reply, and hope that he doesn’t win.

6

£0.19 = 30 cents U.S. What kind of a cheap-ass dipshit sends you 16 copies of an email asking you to lower a price by 30 fucking cents? You should tell him that the £4.19 stands, but that you’ll do him a big favor and throw three gumballs into the package to fully compensate him for the extra money. :rolleyes:

7

I was wondering if I might just drop the deal, but he has an unblemished feedback of 46 (he himself has left four or five neutrals though).

8

Round it up to 5… that should shut him up.

9

I would recommend founding a secret order of assassins trained in both the deadliest of martial arts and the great arcane secrets of the past. As the centuries pass, your order’s power will slowly grow until the time of prophesy draws near, and it become necessary to save all of humanity by striking down those who threaten truth and reason.

Or you could just say ‘no’. Whichever.

10

I wonder…you say he is in Denmark, but does he have an aol address? Cos sometimes I get bajillions of copies of the same email from aol emailers – sometimes it’s funny, as when my big brother appeared to send me the same Christmas email 6x in a row, but it always seems like it’s the email from hell that shows up over and over again…

Forgive a hijack – As an ebay seller, I sympathise! A really nice lady, new to ebay and paypal had a few teething pains on one of my auctions, her first one, and apologised profusely for looking like an idiot. I told her, in the competition for the biggest idiot on ebay, love, you are not even in the top 1,000…I have just spent a week sending emails, invoices, and warnings to someone who finally wrote to ME and said she hadn’t heard from ME – turns out the email address she gave ebay, and thus me, is one she doesn’t like to use. ARGH!!!I enjoy selling on ebay, but transactions like this transform me into Herbert Lom from ‘The Pink Panther Strikes Again…’

11

I had someone today ask me to cancel the bids on a bunch of my auctions and sell them to him at one price. It might be less work, but there’s no way that he’ll pay me more for all of them than I’ll get by selling them individually. I sometimes wonder what the hell some people are thinking.

12

Wait, this one isn’t so bad is it? I have often asked if sellers from the US would be willing to sell items to me, and without exception they’ve all said yes. Selling to your own country is the default option and most people are happy to sell internationally.

Of course he was definitely a tightwad to try and haggle the shipping price down. Although I have to admit, I’d like to see him fight it out with the seller that quoted $20 to send a singlet internationally.

13

Shipping cost (original): $2.20
Cost after email #2: $4.40
Cost after email #2: $8.80
Cost after email #4: $17.60
Cost after email #5: $35.20
Cost after email #6: $70.40
Cost after email #7: $140.80
Cost after email #8: $281.60
Cost after email #9: $563.20
Cost after email #10: $1,126.40
Cost after email #11: $2,252.80
Cost after email #12: $4,505.60
Cost after email #13: $9,011.20
Cost after email #14: $18,022.40
Cost after email #15: $36,044.80
Cost after email #16: $72,989.60

14

More than fair.

15

LOL! He was GREAT in that role! And, that’s a great description. I know exactly what you mean. :smiley:

Why is it always the cheap items that attract these nutjobs? I’ve never had a problem, when dealing with an item over $50. But, it seems like about half the items I’ve sold for $5 or $10 have been won by a “problem child”.

Oh, and welcome to the board, Ms Boods. :slight_smile:
:confused: What the heck is a bood?

16

Mangetout I’d report him and cancel his bids. People like that make ebay worse for everybody.

17

I wouldn’t deal with him. Ebay specifically tells you not to deal outside like that. For one thing, it rips them off, and they’re the ones who provided the means for your product to be advertised.

18

Hallo, Davebear, and thank you everyone who has been so nice!

No, no, no, not ‘a’ Bood, but The Boods.

Behold:

http://web.longwood.edu/staff/jpeden/me/boods.jpg

This is the photo I put in all my eBay auctions, cos that expression pretty much sums up some of the transactions…

Crikey, yes, it IS always the wee sales what end up being the biggest pain in the arse!!!

I sell mostly my own handspun wools, but I also like to sell funky clothes I find here and there, including tights, shoes, and over the knee socks…most of my buyers for these latter have turned out to be fetishists or cross-dressers, and I’ve had some terrific letters from these people…most are just as nice as nice can be, loyal customers, fast payers…then there are the ones who write me notes saying,

‘I like those shoes; would you send me further photos of you in those shoes and wearing nothing else.’ and so on…

I also once tried to sell a nice pair of button fly jeans about a year ago, and I STILL get email from this same guy begging me to find him button fly jeans with at least 15 buttons on the flies…I guess he has a very high waist…

I forward these notes to a junk email, cos no way do I want these people to know my real email – and I answer them as if I have just slightly misunderstood the question.

Like, I never show my face in my auctions, and when one guy asked, ‘What do you look like?’ I wrote back, ‘Well, a lot of people tell me I look like my sister.’

So sorry to natter, so I shall leave you with my favourite exchange:

I was once selling a nice long sleeved cotton bodysuit:

“Hi, my name is Richard and I was hoping you could help me. I am 16, 5’1 weigh 102 lbs, and have a waist size of 22 inches, my hips are 34, bust is 34 inches, inseam is 29, and measure 25 inches
from shoulder to crotch. Do you think that this item would fit me? I
am really interested in this particular item so please any assistance that you can provide is greatly appreciated. I need this item for my dance class because my instructor told me I need a leotard/bodysuit. I have tried all the mens/boys leotards and they just do not fit me right in the hips and waist areas. They are either too big in the waist or too tight in the hips because of my feminine figure. Would this be the same way or would this conform to my body better? Also, would I wear this underneath or over my >tights as I have seen them worn both ways? If you are selling any other items in my size please let me know as I would be very interested. I am really in the need of jeans as well so please let me know if you do come across any but I really have no idea what size I would take since all the mens/boys jeans I have tried on do not fit me.”

My reply was:
"Hallo! Thank you for your interest in my auction.

Oh dear, but I would hazard a guess that this leotard
would not be very suitable for the Dance! It hasn’t
got the same give and stretch as a Danskin, and the
long sleeves are a hindrance.

It would seem your sartorial situation is a tricky
one! Perhaps you might speak to your mum and dad about
finding a good tailor! That would soon sort things
out, I’m sure.

cheers,
Ms Boods"

Funny, he never wrote back…

19

Oh, er, so sorry for another hijack, but asking now as a buyer, what is it with people who harrass you after you have won an auction in which THEY DID NOT PARTICIPATE!

I collect nice little bits pertaining to Mr Dave Davies of the Kinks, and of course after a while I see the same group of people, all of us in competition for these things. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, fair enough! It’s a disappointment, but something else comes along…

Yet I have had emails from people demanding rudely that I give – yes, give – the item to them as they are the world’s biggest Kinks’ fan…and once I actually received threats from some guy who wasn’t in the auction because, I promise you I am not joking, he insisted I had paid too much for the item. He was absolutely bonkers in these emails, just enraged! I take kiddies’ chewable vitamins; do they make chewable valium in bright rainbow colours for fellows like him?

Mangetout, you sound as if you are an honourable seller – I believe those of us who are honourable sellers and bidders are baffled by these people cos it’s something we would never do – I have had sellers who were disappointed that the bids didn’t go as high as they would have liked, so they try to double the postage to make up for it…

cheers!

20

Funniest one I ever had was a guy asked me to end the auction and trade them the microphone I was auctioning for a cd full of warez.