What would your caveman job be?

I’m a Sys Admin/Technologist. I build, integrate and maintain complex business systems, like data centers, servers, storage, email, monitoring, etc. Obviously, our caveman ancestors didn’t have computers, and I got to thinking “What would I have done back then?”

My answer? Fire-maker, or fire-keeper.

Here’s my reasoning: I like technology, and being at or near the cutting edge of what’s going on technologically. But just having it isn’t enough for me - I need to be a part of it somehow. In other words, my love of tech isn’t satisfied by having an iPhone or other gadgets. I want a whole datacenter, and I want to run it myself. So, I think if we were in caveman days, I’d figure out how to harness fire, and keep/provide it for the clan.

If you’re a cook, that the answer is easy. Your caveman job would also be cook, since cooking is pretty universal to our ancestors. Likewise, a fisherman would still be a fisherman. But, what about Hedge Fund Brokers and webmasters?

What would your caveman job be?

Scout. I’d go out and find water, valleys, herds, and stuff like that. Why? Well, I like to learn, but astronomy and map-making aren’t quite ancient enough to qualify as caveman-ish.

I would be running the herd (tribe? gang?). Making sure we all had enough to eat and that the bigger cavemen weren’t picking on the little cavemen or being mean to the women folk.

Though I am a small woman, I can be very persuasive with the large, strong men.

(I work for a male-dominated software company.)

I would be a gatherer. I know where everything is, all the time, no matter what. Almost every day I hear, “Honey, where are my keys?” from the other room and I can always tell him exactly where they are without looking. I just kind of know where stuff is 98% of the time. I can also find my way anywhere if I’ve been there once before, even if it was years ago.

I would be a shaman/healer/herbalist’s apprentice, soon to find another tribe or poison him with some hemlock so I could take his job. :wink:

(I graduate nursing school in 4 1/2 weeks!)

I just nailed this! I hit F5, saw that you’d posted, and said “shahman”.

Ha! I haven’t been gone that long, after all.

Do you run the company you work for?

I’m a librarian now, so I suppose my caveman job wouldn’t be too different: pointing people towards the poo-hole.

Healer, trader and/or liason with lcoal tribes.

I negotiate deals all day, so I’d be very good at the trading bit; I doubt that would have been a full-time job back then. I’m also the one who everyone comes to with their various medical symptoms, or for explanations of what their loved ones just heard from the doctor. At least once per day I preface a comment with "Well, I’m no doctor but. . . "

Also cooking, I make a mean stew. And did cave people knit/crochet? Maybe making fishing nets?

Saber-tooth tiger bait, probably.


Witch doctor or shaman

Think positive. You could be the oral storyteller/repository of tribal lore.


Weapons maker and master.

(sculptor with hobbies in martial arts)

I don’t think my job would translate so I’ll volunteer for “Clubber of the women to take them back to the cave for some sexing.”

War Chief.

Hit man

wheel insurance

Testing and development of new technologies. Does that obsidian chip cut giant sloth hide quickly? Does a sharp rock kill more effectively than a round rock from your sling?

My testing department is now in their 11th eon of R&D with regards to rock-to-rock smashing. We’ve exhausted all sedimentary-to-sedimentary and sedimentary-to-igneous combinations and are now starting metamorphic trials. One of our lab techs claimed he created a small lightning event during one test, he’s clearly crazy so I’ve reassigned him to picking-and-eating-nits duty.