What you wish you'd known when you went to college

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

thanks again everyone! only 17 hours to go!

so, Arky, you know all about us “Rhodes’ Rowdies” huh? well, I guess I’m not one yet… but I went to one game! How much “culture” is there in Little Rock? I’ve only driven through on the freeway. I’m hoping there will be some decent community theater groups and a small symphony and that sort of thing - and if not, Memphis is only about a two-hour drive.

Any ideas for stupid things to do in stores that aren’t too likely to get you kicked out? Already my friends and I like to do that, but when there’s only one wal-mart in town, us poor college students probably don’t want to get kicked out… but it’s so fun, and so free! (ex. basketball with the big balls they keep in the tall pen, hide-and-go-seek, picking a funny product and leaving them all over the store, etc)

thanks for the offer, sxyzzx, but i don’t have a clue in the slightest what high school my roomie went too (or is there only one?). she seems pretty normal and I think we’ll get along pretty well. (we’ll see about my suitemates though… they might not be!)

thanks again everyone… have to go do some last minute laundry and packing…

82

I need to double-emphasize lel’s point about your faith. Studying the Bible, how it came to be, what it has to say, how to live one’s life based on it, in the kind of depth a Bible major needs to get through, is going to raise some really big questions for you.

A couple of principles:

  1. There is nothing wrong with questioning. To arrive at the answers your adult faith and your proposed career will need, you need to ask the questions to arrive at the answers that work for you. But facing those questions can be downright scary. (If you aren’t comfortable with the answers the college provides, swing by here. Great Debates is fun for helping resolve those issues. Or identify what professor will listen and help you find the answers that work for you.

  2. Get exposure to differing points of view, and strive to understand them – not necessarily accept them, but understand them. Especially in a counseling position, you’re going to need to “walk in another man’s moccasins” and this is a great way to do just that – the time when being open to new and different views is not just acceptable but expected and fun.

Five or six years from now, with your degree under your belt and counseling certification, you’re going to have referred to you a gay kid with an alcohol problem, his faith on the rocks, and with parents that “don’t understand where he’s coming from.” And maybe they don’t, but if you’re going to do him any good, you’re going to have to – and now’s the time to learn how to understand him and empathize with him, by encountering other people who don’t think and feel quite as you do.

Other people have done a good job of covering the pitfalls of college life. One key thing is that you’re on your own, with no family convenient to turn to. That sense of freedom lasts only a short time, and then there’s a sense of loneliness. Be prepared to deal with that, and have support people – friends, counselors, etc., to turn to when it hits.

83

Maybe this is just my wariness with some people Poly and I have butted heads with before, but I feel the strange need to re-emphasize #1, with a few slight tangents:

Your faith is not going to collapse should you discover that you differ with someone in an Official Hierarchical Position on something. Say you come to the personal belief that all of Job is a metaphor … that it didn’t literally happen but is meant to teach a particular lesson.

This does not mean that all of your faith system (and big parts of your life, I think) is a sham, that you should just drop it there and become a bible-burning athiest. It just means you’ve changed. Nothing wrong there. You don’t need to abandon your belief system just because it changes.

People are going to disagree with you. And depending on the person, they’re going to have wide and varied reactions to this disagreement. Some of them will simply say “let’s agree to disagree”. Some of them will pull out their Bibles and toss several verses (singular verses, usually) at you to try and prove their point. Some may take it a step further and tell you that “your religion is wrong” (actually heard this said to me. No, I am not making this up). And some may be so audacious as to tell you you are going to hell/aren’t going to heaven.

Don’t sweat it. Only being who truly knows where you’re going is the one who controls that, and it sure ain’t some random person you’ll meet at a small bible college in Arkansas. And even if you disagree with someone, do give a good college try at figuring out why they think what they think … may have everything to do with the bible, may have nothing to do with it. The more you know about other people the more prepared you’ll be to deal with them.

Some parts of psychology will probably differ slightly with the teachings you encounter of the bible. In fact, given your geographic area-to-be and the current teachings of the psychology field in this couuntry, I’d be shocked if what you learn in Abnormal Psych and Developmental Psych (to name but two that will produce interesting results) doesn’t contradict in some what what you learn in your bible classes. And it may cause you no amount of discomfort to have to re-examine some things you might have taken as fact before.

Try to keep an open mind. I think that’s the most objective way I can put it:)

84

These things are great. Its grid shelving that’s pretty sturdy, reasonably priced, and it can all be taken apart to fit inside a regular sized box. I bought one from Target, but they are sold pretty much at any dept. store.

85

That didn’t work. How about this

86

Those are fairly expensive, though. They’re 20 bucks. At target they’re only 10.

87

Polycarp, Punha, (my keys just started working again!!! yay!) I’m very honored to have two of the real “big fish” in my very own thread! Thank you both for the insight - I’m getting prepared for the disagreements with others and with what I’ve previously believed that I know will come… I think I"m pretty ready for it though. I’ve always been the inquisitive type and done LOTS of research about things, reading up on both sides of the issue and deciding what I believe, not what my parents or friends think about all sorts of religious issues, from the trivial to the big deal. I’m no stranger to being around people who don’t put stock in all the same things I do, but I’m prepared to encounter lots of reasons I hadn’t thought/heard of before for people’s beliefs.

I know my major principles won’t change, I’ve challenged them enough myself to know that they’re here to stay, but I’m ready to examine other, smaller, things (with only willing participants of course) with not-like-minded people with understanding of where they’re coming from, not focused on changing them or their thoughts, but discovering those thoughts and choosing to adopt them or disagree respectfully as I see fit. I think I learned that cramming what I think down other people’s throats doesn’t work a couple years ago… and I really do enjoy discussing doctrine and practice and belief with other people, whether they agree with me or not, now - and I love lurking in GD as well, especially the religious and philosophical threads! I just like figuring out what shapes other peoples’ opinions I guess. Thank you both for the excellent reminder/challenge/warning!

xanadu, I love the stackable storage… provided I can find some floor space I’ll have to pick up some at Walmart or a place like that. (Arkansans are all about the Walmarts - true story: friends of friends of our family wanted to get married but the waiting period was longer in Oklahoma… the lady in the couple got to the licensing bureau in Arkansas without one of the necessary pieces of ID… the clerk saw her Walmart card and accepted that as good enough!)

Crikey! I leave in 12 hours!

88

Um … how to put this politely.

I said the same thing myself. Many times. I’m fairly certain I’m not alone (used to be catholic, now agnostic theist/polytheist).

You may well discover that your major principles can and do change. Regardless of how rigorously one challenges one’s beliefs, there is usually something one can consider in addition, and that something may well cast serious doubts or something like that.

89

hmm… well, I’m not doubting that people do change their beliefs often, I know it does happen… but, in all respect, I don’t think that’ll happen to me. I could try to explain why I’m so convicted, but I don’t know that I have all the words, and that might be considered proselytizing (?)

I don’t want to seem argumentative, but I think I’ve already been through the testing/doubts phase. I"m not saying doubts won’t spring up, because I think they do for everyone, but something as drastic as abandoning what I have already put so much into just doesn’t fit in with the picture I’ve got. I wouldn’t say I’m your average josephine who shows up Sundays, sings the songs and all, and goes home with little evidence of having been there, nor would I say I’m the average “involved” person (though I am very involved), nor do I think I have the average “relationship” with God that some who do or don’t attend church or any other religious organization have. not to sound snide at all, but I think I’ve been through enough good times and rough times with trust in the God of the Bible, that that trust is no fleeting aspect of my life.

people changing their beliefs is of course a very common thing, (that’s to be expected and it’s ok by me); but, I know at least a few adults that have had a consistent “commitment” from young adulthood on, and I think that will be me if I’m still alive in that many years. I may well be in the minority for that though.

ah, ex-catholic, punha. I was wondering - since you seem to know some of the issues, like with the book of Job… figured either a background in a monotheistic religion or finding some of the really cool (to me) GD threads!

90

You join a long list of people who said the same thing. It may well not happen with you. It may well happen after all. Just because you don’t think it’s going to happen doesn’t mean it won’t:)

Possibly so. Feel free to IM or email me and spell it out:)

You think you’re through the testing/doubt phase? Hmm. may well be. My personal opinion is that being past the testing/doubts phase occurs right around the time one stops being able to think (i.e. death). Poly, you through the testing/doubts phase?:wink:

Again, no ill will meant, but if I had a dime for every person who’d said that, I’d have to have that money in $100 bills because there aren’t enough dimes;)

Not snide at all. I understand the POV. But I stand by what I’ve said:)

Both. I was raised Catholic (father’s now a monk), went to catholic school, etc. So I know a bit of dogma and doctrine and all that sort of thing. But I also read a fair number of GD threads even if I don’t post in them. I actually only cited Job randomly … I’m not overly versed (ha) in the debate therein so much as I am aware of the overall debate re: literal vs. figurative/allegorical understanding of the Bible.

Religiously I’ve gone from being a Catholic Fundamentalist (grok that one for an interesting religious viewpoint!) to being Christian/Baha’i to being Athiest (for a spell during my confirmation process as well) to being non-denominational to being polytheistic to whatever I am now (I say agnostic theist/polytheist, but the basic thing of it is that I don’t know for sure, I just have this sort of gut feeling that there’s a god or gods or something like that). And in each case I was as sure of myself as I’ve ever been.

Just saying:)

91

And cc me on that one, if you would!

::splort!:::

No, I haven’t stopped thinking, or growing, or learning. Anecdote for you: Hank and his wife go to our church. He’s 82. He told me once, “I hope I die before I get old and set in my ways, and not ready to meet a challenge to my thinking!” :slight_smile:

But in a way, I think I know what LIH86 is saying, and if she’s had the think-it-through-and-test-it experience well before most people, she may be on target. I’m confident in my trust in God – what I think I know about Him, and His will and His essence may very well change, but the relationship won’t. Like you, though, I think she’s in for some eye-openers she’s not expecting.

Keep in touch, LIH. From what I’ve seen here, you’re needed in GD – so long as it doesn’t distract you from college proper!

92

well, punha, Poly, (is it something about the letter P? you could be the… Potent Ps? ummm nevermind…) I again am honored to have you both contributing so honestly in here. If I ever do figure out how to say what I’m thinking/feeling/etc and why, I will definitely let you both in on it. At the moment, the words are eluding me.

I didn’t mean that I’m through with the testing/doubts phase… just have gone through at least some of it! (sorry to not have written more clearly.) Seems like most of the people I know well have either
a) never gone through any of it cause they are mindless sheep who don’t question what they’re spoonfed, but never been real “active” about what they haven’t questioned, either
b) gone through some, investigated well, and changed their beliefs, or
c) really explored deeply when they had doubts, and emerged even more convicted than before, and for the most part stayed that way.
That’s not to say everyone fits in there, those are pretty sweeping generalizations.

I think you’re both right that I’ll find many unexpected challenges to the things I believe now, but I’m actually kinda looking forward to it - to emerging with the same major beliefs I have now just a bit more polished, and refining some more minor things as well - oh, and learning a whole stock of new things, facts, perspectives, arguments on both sides, etc.

Poly, if you don’t mind my asking, what type of church do you go to? Alternately, what is your “belief” now? Whichever of those will explain more to me where you’re at is the one I meant to ask. :slight_smile:

Poly, I think you’re right about GD (well, i don’t know about being needed, per se, but I think I am going to spend some more time there). Once I get settled in and hooked up (may be a week or two) I think I may finally try to contribute to a few threads over there. hope there are some people over there that are as wise and neat to discuss things with as you and punha!

but as for right now… it’s time to finish packing. I leave for OKC in 9 and a half hours! I’ll be checking in periodically while I’m there, so any last minute tips will be very welcome!

I got an abbreviation to my name! I think that means I’m cool now! um, that or I picked a name that’s really, really annoying to type… I’ll pretend it’s the first one!

93

Best wishes on the upcoming educational adventure, Life in HIM86. Just a word about the Bible major: Go ahead and take Greek early, and get it under your belt. Under no circumstances take introductory courses in Greek and Hebrew the same semester (yikes!). It may take a while to get the hang of it, but just keep telling yourself “They’ve been teaching Greek for a few thousand years now… compared to that, I’m catching on pretty quickly!”
Believe it or not, Greek really does help. Hebrew too.
Enjoy!

94

Heh – maybe I oughta change to iampoly! :wink:

I’m an Episcopalian, from the more liberal side of our denomination – e.g., my priest and I are among the most outspoken supporters of that bishop. (If you’ve been following the news, no need to ask which one!)

95

thanks, Howard! I believe you’re the first I’ve heard from with a background in Biblical studies - I take it you’ve done your time with Greek flashcards while in line in the caf, etc… I think i’ll like the Greek more than I will the Hebrew (just from the differences in the languages that I’ve read, but who knows what I’ll find out when I actually get into it) - I know a man who doesn’t use English translations of the New Testament, just translates as he goes from his Greek NT, it’s very cool! Don’t know that I’ll get that sophisticated, but he’s really advising me to study.

youarepoly, now who on earth could you be talking about? I just don’t know of anybody that could possibly be drawing any sort of controversy in the Episcopalian denom right now! :wink:

96

Slowly corrupting you, young one…:wink:

(Completely joking, actually. I’d hate to think I was the result of someone’s undeserved religious turmoil/unhappiness. Just so that’s clear.)

[quote]
I again am honored to have you both contributing so honestly in here. If I ever do figure out how to say what I’m thinking/feeling/etc and why, I will definitely let you both in on it. At the moment, the words are eluding me.[/qupte]

Lemme see if I can read your mind (void where prohibited, offer does not apply in AK or HI, sale ends Friday August 15, 2003).

You’ve had a long and twisty religious road, and you’ve come to have a vehicle for traveling that road that can fly over obstacles, drive over shards of glass and survive under water. A religious hovercraft of sorts. And it’s got a good, thick set of armor for airborne missiles and such. Anything you can see well enough in advance you’re good to defend yourself against.

But can you survive radiation inside it? What about if it gets really hot for a while? Do you have enough food and water stored for the really nasty parts of it where you might not be able to re-stock? Say you go over a land mine. Is your gas tank sufficiently armored that you stand no significant change of springing a leak?

The fact that you have things planned out for what you can defend yourself against, and what you can experience, doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t get rocked by something you’d never expect to find and have no chance to defend against.

This young one will do well here, I think, Poly. She’s already well ahead of some of our … ah, counterparts?:wink:

I was a mindless sheep, for the most part, for a while. Unless I disagreed with something I didn’t pursue it (generalized example … I would have said “becaise it’s in the Bible” to any question “why do you believe this?” unless I knew specifically where in dogma or doctrine it was stated).

It was actually when I started to challenge what I believe that I found I’d never truly accepted it myself but that it had been given to me to believe so I did.

If you think I’m wise you REALLY need to spend more time in GD:) There are several people up there who run circles around me without needing to be awake for it.

If Poly’s gonna be iampoly, maybe I should be punhacarp. Then again, given that my SN is a derivation of a bear, that carp might not last very long…

97

Last minute tips, eh?

Pack your Bible. :stuck_out_tongue:

Glad to hear you’ve tested your faith and found it well, and that you are eager to learn more! There’s always bound to be surprises (watch, I’ll probably be securely a believer in 20 years – now that would be unexpected!), but the surprises are very much a part of the journey.

What I found to be the most unexpected facet of questioning faith and looking for answers was how emotional the journey was. There were moments of elation, moments of confusion, and honestly most of all, moments of disappointment and despair.

Enjoy Greek and Hebrew!

plel

98

I’d recommend a good, neutral concordance … or possible one from each end of the spectrum. The conservative ones I’ve seen have interesting differences from the more liberal ones. Makes for good historical perspective, etc.

99

ha! I need to lay off the refresh button, I think I’m gonna break it with how much I look to see what you two say back - it’s my last night! I should be with family! (really though, I have been spending time with them, I always sort of have though)

so who you calling young, oh self-eater? (there’s gotta be a really cool science word for that) (I feel like I’m in Matrix, or Karate Kid or something… just don’t start calling me grasshopper…) According to your site, you’re only 19, mister. A scant two years older than myself! Now, if we’re talking post count, I s’pose you can call me young one…

how long ago did you really begin to question the Catholic beliefs? I really didn’t know you were quite that young till I did my research (so maybe I am stalking you after all!)

Wise and smart are two totally different things… I’m sure you know this… but just saying… here’s to hoping that there’s not a bunch of foolish-smart people when I really delve into GD!

and punha, dahling, don’t you know that my all-terrain vehicle is capable of withstanding anything and everything… hail, lightning, nuclear warfare, power outages, gasoline shortages, angry mothers-in-law, and up to a Legion of demons (provided, of course, that the attack is pre-exorcism into the pigs - that seems to be the one thing this vehicle is vulnerable to…) it’s the Limited Holy Edition 2003 Spiritus!

all kidding aside, I’m trying not to prepare myself for any certain circumstances, but just for ‘warfare’ in general. i know I’d miss something if I tried to find a prefab solution to any obstacle. it’s more about the lifestyle - I try to have one that’s conducive to being strong in the face of all different kinds of adversity.

good point, lel - one I’ve just begun to discover recently. I used to shut off a lot of emotion because I didn’t want to be one of those people who does everything based on emotion - choosing friends, religion, a college, what-have-you, with no logical influence at all in their life. It’s become more apparant to me in the last few months that emotion has a very important place in life, it just shouldn’t be the only thing I follow. But I understand much better now that events and experiences do bring emotion with them, and that that’s the way it was meant to be, even when the emotion isn’t happiness.

garsh, guys, I need to do a few more last minutes and get to bed… gotta get up in only 6 hours and some-odd minutes (8am flight at an airport 2 and a quarter hrs away… joy.) I’ll check back in from OKC tomorrow!

100

Well, omnivore is something that eats everything … herbivore is for vegetation, carnivore is for meat … so self-eater would be a masochistic cannibal:D

My homepage? I should really update that. I’m 21:p

Yup, and if you’re going to have any luck in college it’d better stay that way;)

When I was around 12, sort of. That’s when I went through a period of time during which I was largely atheistic. Then my senior year of high school I picked it up again and slowly but surely I realized I … didn’t accept much of anything that the RCC had to say.

Then you would have them disappear?:wink:

All-terrain vehicle, meet unstoppable force;)

  1. So you believed Bush et al. too?:wink:

  2. Gray Davis will be calling you about that soon…

  3. Wait. A behemoth that doesn’t guzzle gas? Politicians lied to me about that!:eek:

  4. I’ll just be renting that starting next year for the next five years;)

The Holy Christmas Ham of Antioch!

1 … 2 … 5!

I got myself in a lot of emotional and psychological trouble by ignoring/blocking emotion. Never do that. Don’t show it, maybe, but don’t block it. Otherwise you run the risk of not being able to stop yourself from blocking it. I ended up (I’m mostly ok now) having to jab myself in the arm with a fork just to see if I was blocking.

I do not recommend this as a course of action.

Sleep on the plane;)

[sub]You are feeeling sleeeeeeeeeepy…[/sub]