What your major says about you

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This just something that some friends and I made up at lunch so please do not take any offence to this

But if you have any suggestion to refine these comments or have something for the majors I couldn’t remember please do post
What your Major says about you

Business: I am the scum of the earth

Liberal arts: I don’t have the motivation for business

English: I am addicted to everything with caffeine

Psychology: I’m too moral to be a business major

Sociology: I hate people that are business majors

Law: see business

Mythology: I play D&D or I am a militant feminist

History: I wear flannel shirts and jeans

Anthropology: See sociology

Economics: I have good reason to hate business majors

Engineering: I hate my major but I am greedy will get my through this

Computer science: I hate my major and Microsoft tm

Mathematics: I am contemplating suicide

Agricultural: I want to be a real Cowboy someday

Film: I want Americans to face important social issues by making documentary films no one will ever see, or I want to be able to sleep with desperate 18-year-old blonds until I’m in my 80’s

Pre med: I have no problem making lots of money off the suffering of others
Gynecology: I am a pervert

Art: I hate parents

Communications: I have full ride athletic scholarship and I’m wasting it on this

Journalism: I will think of college as being a time when I was well fed

Criminology: What’s the bill rites?

Drama: I was an untalented art major

2

Comments on how to refine this? Um . . . :rolleyes:

Besides, I’d say it’s more like:
Engineering: I like my major because I can do anything with it

Tripler
Got me. . .

3

Your poll seems to have a lot of references to business majors. Why is that? Many of the best traditional universities do not offer a “business” degree. They are not trade schools after all. I went to some pretty fine schools (Tulane and Dartmouth) and neither offered an undergraduate business degree although both offered fine graduate schools of business. While I think your list is mildly funny, I think that the constant reference to “business majors” is extremely annoying.

4

BWAHAHA…

I’m studying History and Mythology currently, I play D&D, I believe very strongly in feminism, and I just happen to be wearing jeans and a flannel shirt!

Add a Biology one, see if I fit that, too!

5

I studied a Philosophy BA and loved it.

Philosophy: I like to get drunk and quote lesser-known Neitzche.

6

You made at least one mistake. Communications is actually “I would have been an English major, but I didn’t want to take the stupid grammar classes.”

7

Thanks for finally getting the English major stereotype right. :slight_smile: I do believe we can out-caffeine the computer science kids.

8

I had an eglish teacher who did all his post bachler work for his masters in 2 years. he told me he never wanted to see another bottle of Jolt so long as he lived

9

Ummm…I was an anthropology major. I have no opinion on business majors. In fact, I don’t believe my university offered that major. Everyone I knew who was interested in “going into business” majored in economics. And I didn’t hate them.

I know your list is just a joke, but I kinda roll my eyes at it. Anthropology is a huge discipline, covering both science (human evolution and primatology) and social sciences (ethnography, linguistics, and archaeology). I’m kind of annoyed at being told my defining characteristic is in disliking some other major.

10

The Decline and Fall of the Engineering Major, a tradition at my alma mater (tongue firmly in cheek, but I have actually seen students go through the whole progression):

Chemical/Electrical: Do your worst, prof. I can do anything. I will prove my masochism by surviving this curriculum…which is far harder than Electical/Chemical.

Mechanical: Those ChemEs/EEs are nuts. I wasn’t about to stick around and be tortured. ME is perfectly respectable. I’m not a failure, really…

Civil: All right, so I’m a failure. I can’t hack ME, either. I can still do something productive with my life. I can take pride in building the structures that ChemEs/EEs/MEs will drive to work on. I’m not bitter…all right, maybe a little bitter.

Industrial: Man, Civil is tough. That’s OK, I have no pride. I can get a decent job with an IE degree, and that’s enough for me.

Petroleum: OK, so I washed out of IE. If I tell people I can find oil, I can still get a job around here. It doesn’t matter if I suck at it–everyone sucks at it. I can look at pretty pictures on a computer screen and tell the roughnecks where to drill, then go drink beer with them. Life is good.

Political Science: I’m doomed. Even the PetEs won’t have me. I’m going to end it all…wait, who’s that? A tall, saturnine man who smells of brimstone…ah, he says there are still classes I can pass! Classes that will lead to power and influence and interns! So what’s a little blood between friends?

Don’t count on it. I was an EE, but a friend of mine was CS, and he carried a 1/4 pound bag of chocolate-covered coffee beans in his pack…and had to replace them every few days. He washed them down with chain-chugged 20 oz. Jolts. He actually claimed to like every flavor of Jolt–a sure sign that the caffeine had overridden all of his normal neurotransmitters.

I, of course, had greater fortitude and did not depend on caffeine. I drank 5 liters of Dr. Pepper the night before a probability exam because I really like Dr. Pepper. [sub]I hate Dr. Pepper.[/sub]

11

I was an anthropology major, a psychology minor, and a law student. I got dissed three times!

I’m not insulted. I thought the anthropology major one was actually pretty funny, in that it just said “see sociology”. The quickest way to take the piss out of an anthropologist or anthro major is to ask “Anthropology…that’s another word for sociology, right?”

12

pravnik, that’s very true! My favorite was when I told people my major was anthropology, they’d start asking questions about dinosaurs.

Shagnasty, when were you at Tulane? I graduated in '94.

13

I’m not clever, so I can’t come up with anything, but how about something for the hard sciences?

14

PEs don’t find oil, but they sure manage to lose a lot of it.

15

Try telling someone you studied dinosaurs. Then they start asking you about archaeology.

16

A few additions/small changes: (All tongue in cheek, of course.) :wink:

IS (Information Systems, or whatever variant): I’m too lazy/stupid to do the math CompSci requires. -or- I think that by taking this major, I’ll always be able to find a high paying job no matter where I go, even if I can’t manage to program my VCR, much less anything else.

CompSci: “It’s great to be a nerd, the only light we ever see is from our monitor…” (Arrogant Worms, Great To Be A Nerd)

CompSci and Math (double major): I have no life. Help me. Shoot me now. Please.

(Guess which major I’m trying to finish!) :smiley:

<< Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. >>

17

What about Biology? Does this mean that we are undefinable? Yeah! Down to the stereotype! :wink:

18

I think we Classics majors have everyone beat for misunderstandings of our major by outsiders. People either think I read a lot of Vistorian literature or that I was studying classical music. About halfway through I gave up and started telling people I was majoring in Greek and Roman “stuff”.

19

Just for you, Gwena ;):
Biology (Freshman)–I want to be a scientist, but I hate math.
Biology (Senior)–Now I really hate math.
Biology (Grad doing field work)–Ha! No math! Ouchie…I wonder if we have the antivenom for that…
Biology (Grad collating statistics)–I still hate math, but it beats snakebite.

On another major:
Psychology–How do I fix myself? Failing that, how do I break others?

20

Bring it, bi-atch! 2-liters of Mt. Dew at 10 paces. :wink:

Nightsong, good call on the IS. I was about to say something along those lines.

I have a theory about there being a spectrum of social interaction and general “out-going-ness”, with Theatre majors on one end and Math majors on the other:
Theatre - “I LOVE people! People are great, I love talking to people and going to parties and OH MY GOD this one time I was at this party and Justin, you know Justin right? Well, he was drunk and trying to - omg this is SO funny - he was trying to recite his lines from Hamlet and …”

Business - “I love meeting new people in class. It’s all about connections, man, in the business world or in real life. You have to have people skills. A customer, or a classmate, has to think that you’re approachable and friendly. Get a dialogue going and before you know it …”

Biology (or some other “hard” science that is not as “hard” as physics) - “Hey, what’s up? Yeah, I got lab, but then we can maybe get together. Whatcha been up to? Uh huh. That’s cool. Well, I gotta get to class. See ya.”

Physics - “I have papers to grade for the class I TA for, then I’ll probably be reading more of Hawking’s new book later. So no, I won’t be able to make it to the kegger. Bye.”

Computer Science - “I don’t mind some people. Now go away and let me code.”

Math - “I hate people.”

This may be more of a circle though, since Philosophy majors seem to close the gap and connect the two extremes: “Talking to people is great. I love getting a good debate going over a cup of beer. Although, to tell you the truth, I sometimes forget that those blobs of color that talk to me are actually people. But even if they aren’t, it’s still fun to argue with a figment of my imagination.”

Just a theory. :slight_smile: