what's big, brown, and eats small children?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I don’t know, but apparently, it lives just down the street from me (in the suburbs of Virginia).

Last night, I was at my friend’s house, drinking a few beers. While going to get a beer, I pass by a glass tank where my friend stores his pet tarantula. Peering into the almost airtight cage, I notice that the large spider inside is dining on a cricket; something, which I’ve never seen it, do before.

Walking back outside, I tell my friend that that was the first time I’ve seen his tarantula eating.

“Oh, that’s not my tarantula.”, he replies.

“Who’s is it then?”, I ask.

“Oh, it’s mine. It’s just not a tarantula.”

Pointing to a spot, about 10 feet away, in the midst of plastic trashcans and leaves whose days have long since passed, he casually says, “My brother and I found it over there while putting away our camping gear. We think it’s a Wolf Spider.” :eek:

Now, mind you, I’m not scared of spiders. It does not bother me that there’s probably a multitude of black widows and brown recluses living near me, maybe even under my house. But it took about half of a second for the fear to set in of realizing that one of these abhorrences may live ANYWHERE near me.

This spider was about 2 and a half to 3 inches long. I don’t know if this is normal or not, but about half an hour after the dried out corpse of it’s first hapless victim hit the floor of the cage, it grabbed another chirping pest, and began stabbing it repeatedly with it’s saber-like teeth. This thing was not only quick as a snake, but it was bloodthirsty as a vampire.

It was about at this point that I realized that the tarantula was nowhere to be found. After pointing this out to my friend he, said that it was just under his rock molting, and has been even before they put this spider in the cage. So I have a couple of questions:

When the tarantula comes out from under his rock, will these two spiders fight to the death?

What kind of species of spider is this? I’ve looked on the internet trying to figure out what it is, but really can’t figure it out. I’ve learned that Wolf spider’s only grow up to one and a half inches, which this “thing” is almost twice the size of. Wolf Spiders also have two very big eyes in the front, which this has about four very noticeable ones in the front.
& Finally

Should I find a new place to live?

2

Go back and get a photo of it (preferably with a ruler or other “sizing” object alongside) and post it.

3

I found one of those in my kitchen once. I trapped it with the old water glass and index card trick and tossed it out into the garden.
There was an audible “thump” when it hit the ground.

4

Mike Tyson?

5

There are different spiders known as wolf spiders. One is smallish, the other huge and furry. I’ve had the big furry ones in my room before when I was growing up. shudder

Still not as big as a tarantula, which I’ve seen in the wild a number of times also.

6

:eek: :eek: :eek: I am never going to be able to sleep again!

7

I only opened this post cos I was hopijng that you were going to say that the answer to what’s big, brown, and eats small children was swampbear 'cos that would’ve been kinda funny.

8

I thought the big wooly Wolf Spiders were beneficial in the garden eating bugs and such. Not so good in the house, though.:eek:

9

rimshot

:smiley:

10

I found one of those big furry ones in my house one time. That thing was huge. Now, I’m not real scared of bugs, but spiders give me the heebie-jeebies something fierce, so an enormous furry spider in my living space is Not a Good Thing. At first, it was off in the corner in some empty boxes I hadn’t gotten around to throwing out yet, so I decided to leave it there.

However, a short while later, I went to get a drink of water and found it in the middle of the kitchen floor. That was just too much to take, so I got a big Tupperware container and trapped the damn thing and threw it out the door.

I still get all twitchy just thinking about it. shudder

11

Spiders? I hate those fuckers. We have a big black and yellow garden spider that pitches his web across our garage door (2 years running!). He never ventures away from his home, so I don’t mind him too much. The rest of 'em can all just go straight to hell.

12

or Jackson :eek:

13

Bad, bad superbee!

[sub]Though I must admit, every time I hear a certain Elton John song, I reword it for MJ as “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me.”[/sub]

14

I’m guessing that it is, indeed, a wolf spider. Harmless little guy, but very nasty-looking.

15

…and this is why Slortar lives in Michigan. Slortar would actually live further north in an environment even less friendly to such beasties if he could. Slortar and bugs do not get along…shudder

16

Of course we Bloom County fans know what’s big, purple, and eats small children.

Barney the Dinoaur infused with Bill Gates’ appetite for devouring small companies!

17

Hate to tell you this, bub, but you are nowhere near safe. My XBF once found a wolf spider the size of his hand- it was trapped between the panes of a window, so he actually checked it out… now, his hands are actually larger than my feet (he’s well over six feet tall). I left said X behind in my home state of Indiana.

Northern Indiana. South Bend, to be exact. A really determined person could walk from South Bend, IN to Niles, MI (well, they’d have to stop for lunch along the way) in a few hours.

Actually, your average wolf spider would probably run about the afore mentioned 1 1/2" to 2", but a specimen who maybe found good hunting grounds with plenty of places to hide from predators, as well as easy pickings prey-wise might well make it to 3" or even larger.

So, I wouldn’t be surprised to find one that was the size of a tarantula (the species are closely related, BTW)- well, maybe the size of a Hatian Brown. I shudder to think that the US could harbor a spider the size of a South American bird-eater. Wolf spiders are generally more active, and more aggressive, than
tarantulas, which tend to be quite laid back.

Spiders don’t creep me out as much as they used to. I’ve been living in black widow country for five years now, actually had my hand about six inches away from a widow’s nest (spider was home) and I have absolutely no fear of them. The black widow is as mellow as it is venomous.

The only spider that really scares me is the brown recluse. Nervous, aggressive, tend to hide in your closet. I found one once in a scarf that I had left lying on the floor overnight. (shudder)

18

Caught@Work I never eat small children. Their little bones get stuck in my teeth.:smiley:

Now…big, hairy men…mmmmmm…could eat em all day!:wink:

19

Okay, this officially grosses me out. Normal, shiny spiders I have no trouble with. Furry spiders, OTOH, are affronts to nature, like a spider mated with a dog or something… Ugh.

20

I do a lot of walking around in the woods, inspecting old, dilapidated structures for my job. In the moist woods of Alabama, the wolf spiders get HUGE. Now, I know that wolf spiders are non-poisonous (generally speaking, unless you’re allergic,) are fairly shy, and present no real danger to humans. I know this. But when I opened that old wellhouse door, and put my hand right on Big Mama Wolf Spider and she jumped and hundreds of little baby spiders swarmed up my hand, well…

EEEEEUUUUUUEEEUUUGGHHHGHHH!!!

That is all.